Amma came Home

Amma came Home

Come Mama,come mami,come in, come and sit here.Ah,that’s right.Make your self comfortable.The fans are on and my son has put on the AC also now.Are you comfortable?My daughter in law has brought cool drinks for you,see!Please take it,drink the cool drink.It is nice, no?My daughter in law is very smart you know,nobody need tell her anything,she knows when to do what.Very good,I am happy.Day before yesterday only,my son got the AC for this hall,you know?He wanted everybody to be comfortable,so ,he went ahead and bought the AC. A ctually my son is a very generous person you know?
Where is my son?Ah,here he is,Mama and Mami, that one who is wearing the pink shirt ,can you see him?He is my son,Subbu.His actual name is Subramaniamhis great grand fathers name but we call him Subbu,out of respect for my father in law ,whose name my husband did not want everybody to mention hundred times a day.
And the lady who is standing by his side,she is the one who gave you cool drink,she is my daughter in law,she is Kumari.The boy who is standing near the gate is Kitta,my grandson.His actual name is Krishnaswamy,we call him Kitta.Very affectionate boy.The girl with the bobbed hair who is standing near my daughter in law is my grand daughter.Her name is Sowmya.She is just like her mother,very organized,very disciplined and very strict ,you know?
“Ah, my son and daughter in law have gone inside the front room.I think they want to discuss some family matters.Now they will come out and join you here.’
“Let me show you all the things that my son and daughter in law have bought for me.See this MS blue pattu saree with red border.My daughter in law bought it yesterday for me.Isn’t it very nice?I always wanted to wear this MS blue silk saree,you know? My daughter in law knows it ,that’s why she went and bought it yesterday.Must be very costly,here,touch it and see,nice,no?”
“I like seethe pazham you know?Everybody used to make fun of me,there are so many fruits,why do you like this fruit?they used to chide me.But somehow I like seethapazham,I can eat two,three at a time,you know?Thats why my son went to the market himself and bought seethapazham yesterday.He picked the fruits himself,you see.He is so fond of me”
“Look at these plates,mami.Sweetsandsavouries.Jangiri,mysorepak,l addu,manoharam,thenkukuzhal,murukku,karaboondhi…My God!So many items.All are my favourite items you know?My son called the cook and told him,”All the items should be made with pure ghee,everything should be pucca.”The cook said,”Sir,you don’t have to say anything,we know how much you love your mother.We will make everything in pure ghee only.”Then only my son was satisfied.

Mama and Mami,come here ,I will show you all these silver items,silver plates and silver tumblers,my son has bought them for the pandits.He is going to give it to them.Silver is so costly,but my son won’t listen.He is adamant ,you know?”
“Come mama,mami,now sit comfortably.Have I disturbed you?.Please make yourelf comfortable,that’s right”
“Now my son and daughter in law are coming out of the room,you see.They are coming here only.Poor my son.He is looking so tired. He has not eaten anything since morning,mad boy.He could have taken atleast some horlicks or something”
“My son was so handome looking even ten years back you know?.But now, he has aged,you see.He has put on weight, has got a paunch.But,so what,my son is my son.Paunch or no paunch,hair or no hair,he is always my wonderful son.”

“Now, somebody is coming with a big garland and gives that to my son.Mama and Mami,please move a little,my son is coming towards me you see,he wants to put the garland on my photo,today is my srartham,you see.My son has put the garland,he looks tired,there are tears in his eyes.I can’t bear to see that,why should he cry,he is doing a fabulous srartham for me!”
“Now the purohits have started the ‘mandirams’, let me talk to you.Whether you are able to hear me or not ,let me talk to you and unburden my heart to you.”
“My son and daughter in law,who are doing so much in my name today,if only they had shown one hundredth of this care to me a couple of years back, I would have died as a happy mother, you know? When I was alive, I had only a couple of cotton sarees to wear at home and also when I went out.But I wanted to wear a nice silk saree so badly,after all my son was earning so much!So I asked my son one day,”Subbu,please get me a silk saree for Diwali,MS blue with red border”.Immediately my daughter in law,who was sitting beside him jumped.”Silk saree!Is your mother joking”she shouted.”Do you know a nine yards silk saree will cost not less than Rs 8000 today?Why does she need such an expensive saree?Do you know that with Rs 8000 we can buy provision for two months?”
After all she is an auditor you know”.I mmediately my son joined her,”Yes,Amma,why do you need a silk saree at this age.You are not going out much.Kumari,buy a cotton saree for amma in her favourite colour,that’s all”he said.My daughter in law said “What favourite colour,any colour is good enough for an elderly person”.Having uttered that great philosophy,my daughter in law got up and went,my son followed her.
I was so shame faced.I could feel my face burning with shame,humiliation and thousand other feelings.I went and lay on my bed and cried and cried ,till sleep took over me.

“Your mother is eating custard apples and throwing the seeds all over the house.What if peetu(their pet dog)eats it and the seed gets stuck in his throat”cried my daughter in law one day,all because by mistake a custard apple seed had fallen from my hand on the kitchen floor.
The next day,my son told the driver in my presence,”From today no custard apple should enter the house.If I see that fruit in our house, you will lose your job”,said my son much to my shame.That night for the fisrt time in my life I cursed my husband,”Why did you leave me at the mercy of your son?/.You took care of everybody in our family,but you left me like this to be insulted and humiliated”.

“Your mother is making payasam every Friday.Not only that on every occasion she makes sweets.She does not have sugar problem,but you are diabetic and so am I.Our children don’t like sweets”said Kumari..
“Amma,please don’t make sweets or payasam from today.If you want sweet,tell me I will get for you”,said my son rudely.Am I a shameless person to want to eat sweets in that house after that.From that day till I died, I never touched a sweet ,not that they minded it.



When my husband was alive,he used to eat food in his silver plate,the plate which my father had given him at the time of our marriage.After he had his meal, I used to wash the plate wipe it clean and keep it in my cubboard.The plate is dented in many places.
After my husband died,I began to eat in that plate.Not because of anything else, when I touched the plate I felt as if I was touching my husband, who was no more.It is a feeling that can only be experienced and not explained, you see.I continued washing and keeping the plate in my cubboard as usual.One day,while I was having lunch, I heard Kumari telling my son,”Your mother eats only in silver plate.What if it is misplaced and somebody knocks it of.Nowadays silver is so costly,we cant dream of buying a plate like that now, you know”.
My son came and sat next to me.He did not say anything.After I finished my meal,he took away my plate,washed it wiped it and took it upstairs to keep it in his almirah.
Mama and Mami,my heart broke that day,my heart simply broke into pieces,Mama and Mami.That day I prayed to God to take me away.
“Muruga,Velayudha,Gnanapanditha!I don’t want to be a burden to my son.If I have prayed to you with a clean heart, all these years,please take me away”I cried to hm.
A week must have passed.That day early morning,as usual I went to the portico to bring the bag containing the milk packets inside.Something was on the way,I hit against it,fell down and after that I did not see sunlight.There was only darkness.
“Mama and Mami,I wanted to pour my heart to somebody.So I told you what all thoughts were there in my heart.
One question is troubling me.Why does my son spend so much on me now?.When I was alive he found it difficult to even sit and talk to me for a few minutes everyday.He did not want to spend anything on me.Even my small wishes were ignored by him.He made sure that I knew, I was a burden to him.Now why is he spending so much for me?
Is it because he feels guilty and he wants to appease my soul?
Does he want to impress the society and show them how much love and respect he has for his mother, who is dead?Surely people seem to be impressed.I can hear neighbours saying to each other,”Subbu un cle is great,I say.Look, what all he has bought for dhanam?What all he has bought in the name of his mother?”
“Whatever it is ,my son is my son and I love him”.
“Mama and Mami,please forget what all I told you.please don’t think ill of my son.My son is a wonderful son,an affectionate son.He said and did something to hurt me.That does not matter.My son, his wife and his children, should have healthy,long life.Please bless them,Mama and Mami, don’t get angry with my son because of what I told you.Forget whatever I told you and give them your blessings.”
“What,you are leaving,have you taken food?Ok,both of you, please go in peace.Come next year also for my srartham,Ok,now I will go and talk to my son.He is standing near his car.He is looking so tired.”
“Subbu,why are you standing here?Go inside,go and lie down for some time.
Why do you look sad,my son?Dont worry about anythingda.I am here you know.You may invite me to your house once a year, my son. But do you know,I am always near you.I will protect all of you,I will stand guard over your house,go and sleep in peace.I love you my son,go and lie down I will come and sit next to you.You will get good sleep.Dont worry,I will take care of you all.”

Srartham Death anniversary
Mama Uncle ,a form of addressing men who are family friends other than ones uncle.
Mami Similar way of addressing ladies.
Seethapazham Custard apple.
Dhanam :Gifts given away to the purohits and Brahmins in the name of the dead whose srarthem is taking place.


Dear Mothers,Please lend me your ears!

dear ma'am....
what do i say....i have tears in my eyes and a heavy lump of sadness in my throat....my heart goes out to that poor soul that still roams around the loveless home....nobody other than your kind self can bring out that great lady's heart crunching story in such a simple yet powerful way.....

it is a sad fact that some ladies of the last generation were never allowed to enjoy even the smallest of pleasures....i have seen my great grandmother being treated similarly by my paatti's brother family....that poor soul lived at the mercy of others from beginning to end...my father keeps saying that his grandma lived the life of a karma yogi....totally without opinions or desires....even the youngest of her grandson would command her not to sit in thinnai as his school friends would be coming to meet him...she used to just say "sarippa, i'll go in" and retire to the back yard...
i really dont see the point in all the fuss these people make after the person dies...when she was alive, they would take herfor granted like the old person is a piece of furniture or something...at times even talking in a stinging way....

Hi Mithila,

I read, and all that I can say is, I have tears in my eyes! I wish everyone reads this, and lets hope atleast a few eyes open after this! I feel good after reading this, coz I love my in laws and parents, and we (hubby , son and I) are always there for them. To take care of them, and make them happy in all ways we can. I feel blessed knowing that I can read such a write up and walk in pride, knowing that we are on the right path! Thanks again for the beautiful write-up!

Dear Mithila
so very well written.. you brought out the anguish felt by the mother so very well indeed..

very well exressed mythili,
only u can bring out these nuances like this, i felt sorry for that soul and yes there is a saying jo margaye unhe khush rakho jo jeerahen uneh maar dalo,, to praise the dead kill the living..sunkan

Dear Mithila mam,

Its a very true statement that people dont care for parents when they are alive, but they do bring the whole earth upside down to show their affection when their parents are not alive....Your post makes the younger generation like me to realise how important to show your love when people are around...

Sri

Dear dear Mithila,

As always you touch our hearts and rekindle all hibernating emotions !!

You have depicted the poignancy of a mother's love which was never returned to her in full measure while she was around taking care of the needs of her dear family
all through her life.

The point at which you mention the garland and her picture was for me a very sad
moment and I felt the lump in my throat.Your narrative powers are
very eloquent and very subtle at the same time......you always hit the bullseye on such occasions with great dexterity.

Enjoy reading your pieces always.....thanks to your Muse.....may she always bless you and may we continue to benefit .

warm regards
PAULINA

Dear Mythili,
You robbed me of my sleep tonight. I was about to doze off when suddenly I came across this piece. I meant to read only a few lines and go to bed. But having started could not stop reading.

My God! What a scene! What words! You really brought Amma home. Especially towards the end when the mother declares she has nothing against her son or his family, I was in tears.


Really wonderful piece of writing, Mythili. You have now started to compete with yourself. This is by far your best piece. And I am sure better ones are yet to come.

Best of luck,
love,
sridhar

Dear Mithila madam,
asusual u did a gr8 gr8 job,very well write up

Dear Mithila,

A very touching piece. Brought tears to my eyes.

Anu