Thousands of kindness, day after day!

Editor's Note: Dear IL'ites, navs23 has shared some wonderful facts on what makes a marriage stronger through 2 stories and it is featured here. Please have a look and share it with your friends. navs23, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. It has been selected as best of forums. Congratulations!

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This is in response to "What wives can do for a strong marriage"

'A good marriage is made up of thousands of kindness, day after day'.

I would like to share two real life stories, stories about people, whom I am proud of, stories that inspire me to want to become a better person.

My mil's, mil(grand mother) was a strong, determined and opinionated woman. She worked very hard and struggled a lot to bring up my fil and his siblings(fil's dad had passed away when he was young). So, when my mil got married, she instantly had to bear the brunt of grandmother's anger and bitterness. Mil is a very patient woman and endured everything. Then, when grand mother fell sick and was completely bed ridden, mil stepped up. She took care of the old woman like no one else could, even when all that she got were rants and curses. Though grandmother had become physically bed ridden, she still hated her dil with all her might. Mil did her duties, far beyond what a dil could do and kept grandma fed, clothed, cleaned and tended to. She showed no signs of disgust, never complained and went on doing her duty until grand mother passed away one day. Even in the last minute, there was no love, gratitude or even silence(or respect) from grand mother, she hated her dil till the very end.

Mil's kindness towards her spouse(by taking care of his mother) and towards her mil(who had abused her so much) really shook me. I do not know if I can be half as good as she had been, but am mighty proud of her and wish some of her kindness rubs off on me.

My maternal grandmother got married real young and went through poverty, foreclosure, underfed children, serious health issues and an irresponsible spouse. Finally, one day, when they had lost it all and stood in the street with no money, no where to go and 3 young girls and a helpless, tearful husband, she did what most of us would not be able to do. She was kind and gave him a second chance. It took a lot of time, but she patiently stood by him and he was a changed man. It is said that communication is the key to a good marriage. But, I have hardly seen my grand parents talk to each other, and yet they were always in a harmonious sync, no words needed. They understood each other so well and yet respected their boundaries and gave each other a lot of space. While grandma kept herself busy with cooking, cleaning and tv soaps, grandpa was busy with long walks, gardening and religious activities. They grew old together gracefully. Grandpa passed away in his 80s and his last words were to take good care of his wife. Grandma was no longer the same person, sadly, she had lost her will to go on, and passed away a year later.

Most of us would have come across women like these in one form or the other. These women are no different than any of us and yet they did not have one thing that we have today. They were so busy in keeping the family ship afloat, bringing up good men and women, keeping everyone together, supporting their spouse and doing everything that was needed to keep things running at home. They did not have the privilege of time, to rant, regret, analyze, dissect, pity, condemn, judge or even think about what they had to endure. They took one day at a time and moved on.

What we, women of this age have is, time and a lot of it. While we have a millions of opportunities to extend our kindness, empathy, strength and endurance, we over think and rarely do it. Why not let it go(at least the small things), laugh it off and be kind. If it makes things better, well and good, if not, it might save our sanity at least.

 

Thanks for the fb Justanothergirl
Very well said! time itself is not a problem, we could use the same for positive thoughts.