Relatives

Lower your expectations. Stop sharing so much. As you see everyone is different. You cannot control their actions but you can adjust your reaction accordingly.

 

By not their announcing you in advance their plans, what you have lost? When plans by word of mouth spreads to undesirables, their plans may be jeopardised leading to jettison or abandon their plan. Plans may go haywire as disgruntled read jealous among relatives spoil their plans. Certain plans are to be kept secret till things get fructified. Only thoughtless and loudmouthed carelessly spill their plans which eventually embarrass
when disclosed plans did not materialise but announced already.
An office colleague visited my home and informed my spouse that there is a proposal that I would be posted in Embassy Office in London. Though I knew a month before that higher echelons discussed and arrived at a decision favourable to me, I never breathed about this to anyone including my spouse. When I came from office she with a dead pan face spoke in monosylables and hours later I came to know the reason. I told her unless order comes on my hand I didn't want to tell her.
Later order came but what happened after she and I with our baba got into the Boeing?
Read in the link
Spouse, Son & I Are Off To London Via Airindia Boeing 747

 

Some indian problems are universal.

This resentment is unavoidable and is inherently bad. It will bottle up and come up at the wrong place.

Your uncles and aunts benefitted from the experiences of your family, knowing the nitty gritty of the decisions you made and the impact it had. They made wiser choices. Now you are not aware of these choices and are not learning from their experiences and feel left in the cold.

Even though they and others might argue that you too had a reason for sharing the nitty gritty. They were your support system, people to bounce ideas off of. So, in some ways you and your smaller family unit did benefit from their presence and the sharing and their opinions. If you think this way, this pill might not be as bad to swallow.

Now, how things move from here depends on personalities. In your shoes, if possible, continue to be the same way with them. Share things with them which you feel like and withhold others which normally you would easily share, unless you see a reason.

The relationship can still be meaningful. As long as you are needed and wanted, they will still show up. You also get something out of the relationship. Try to make it as win-win as possible.

 

This is actually not unusual behavior on the part of your relatives. We also see it every where in day to day interactions. Your parents are the generous, open and sharing type and perhaps also felt some sense of responsibility for their younger siblings. Your aunts and uncles are more of a calculating type and the kind of people who feel their power grows by collecting but not sharing. There is nothing inherently wrong as long as you realize it. But as you see it will also lead to only a superficial relationship. Just use these lessons for the future.

 

The real problem is not them, but your family over-sharing your matters to others.

Why are you sharing so much to others ? If you think by sharing they will help out or sharing gives you relief then do so but without expectations from them.