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Daily_Joke_35

Disorder in the Court Room

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones continue reading...


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Daily_Thought_9

Thought for the day!

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Monday, September 22nd, 2014
What's in store for you today?
Choose your fortune cookie to find out!
Cookies Opened Today : 31
Your Fortune For Today
Monday, September 22nd, 2014

The economy could well take a small dip, and you might hear from people expressing concerns about financial matters. Don’t take them to heart, and certainly don’t worry about your own financial condition. The trend will probably reverse itself soon, and this time in the right direction. Take no drastic action just yet. Wait and see what happens. You’ll probably breathe a sigh of relief.

An opportunity to do some extra work might come your way today. Don’t turn it down – it might do you a lot of good. You’ll probably enjoy being at home, whether you’re working or relaxing, as happiness seems to reign in the home at this time. Members of your household all seem to be content with their lives, and thus are great company. Enjoy.

This could be one of those days in which you feel like you just can’t get anything right. In an effort to appease other people, you may think you have to make some adjustments that make you feel uneasy. This uncomfortable feeling could turn into nervousness, restlessness, and eventually anger. Don’t feel like you need to be the one to make any sacrifices at this time.

Relations with those you care about continue to be warm and supportive. Friends may want to pitch in and help you with a project, or you could lend a hand to someone else. Strong bonds with others could be forged at this time, which might lead to firm and lasting friendships in the future. This is also a good day to turn your attention to repairing, redecorating, or refurnishing your home.

The emotional swings that you could feel today might put a damper on your fantasy world. Remember that it’s up to you to nurture these dreams. Try not to let the emotional tides of the day affect your long-range strategy for realizing your most treasured visions. Spend time by yourself if that makes you feel better. Don’t give up.

You’ll find little comfort in your emotions today. You may want to simply stick to business. Concentrate on getting things done in your regular routine. Create a plan and stick to it. This isn’t a day to deviate from the norm, nor is it a time in which you’ll find sympathy from others. Stick close to home and take care of your personal business. Time is precious – don’t waste it.

Some people in your life look up to you and trust your opinions. If you are asked for advice, consider the situation carefully and answer with great care. Trust your intuition because your hunches are generally correct. Stressful confrontations can give rise to misunderstandings and a tendency to be deceptive.

Visualize your ideal situation one year from now. What are you willing to surrender in order to create your dreams? Let loose and explore where this could lead. It might bring the sense of purpose you have been searching for. If you see it in your heart, dreams can come true.

Business or financial matters and anything requiring discipline will be easier if you have helpers. Consult with experts, but don’t trust everything you hear. Someone could accidentally steer you in the wrong direction. At the end of the day, trust your common sense and carefully make your own decisions.

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