Keeping in touch with our best friends after marriage is tough.
But not impossible.
Here are 10 tips on how to keep your friendship after marriage.
It is obvious that marriage brings with it new relationships and you will make new friends. There is no use wishing for a lot of time that you could spend with friends. However, it also does not mean that none is possible. Discussing the importance for a few best friends with one’s spouse in the very beginning is one way to keep your friendship after marriage.
Choose the close friends you would want to be in touch with. Explain the new routine of your life to them. Once they are aware of your schedule, their expectations from you will be easy to handle. Let them know that although you want to be with them, you have other priorities. If they are close to you, they will understand, and you will avoid losing friends after marriage.
Number of Friends
It is very important to realise that once you are married, it will be extremely difficult for you to keep in touch with all your friends. So take your time and decide on who and how many really matter. Finding time to keep in touch with friends itself is challenging. So choose intelligently if you are planning to keep your friendship after marriage.
You are Important
Losing friends after marriage is common, but can be avoided. In your mission to please your new family, do not lose yourself. Always remember your wants are also important. Explain the same to your spouse and never feel guilty if you spend an evening or two with them instead of with your new family.
Alter your Habits
Even if you wish to, you will not be able to have evening outs with friends every day or be on the phone with them at odd hours of the day. If you are accustomed to do this, you will need to alter your habits. Chalk out a middle path so that you avoid tiffs with either of them.
Introduce your Friends
This is true for those who have a long list of friends of the opposite sex. It is but natural that this list will come down dramatically after marriage. Introduce those friends to your spouse with whom you are close, right at the beginning. While your spouse bonds with this group and makes new friends, you get to keep the friendship after marriage without any raise of eyebrows.
Think before making a Promise
Friendship changes after marriage, and often it goes kaput because promises are broken. For example, think before you make a date evening with your friend or promise to go shopping with her. Only if you know you can then go ahead and commit yourself. Occasionally, plans will go awry. However, when this becomes regular, your friends will start to distance themselves away.
If you have got married and have a friend who is already married, stay away from comparisons because friendship changes after marriage. These can be in terms of financial position, personality of in-laws, habits of your spouse. While a healthy discussion about issues and advice is all right, do avoid unnecessary comparisons. This often leads to a lot of unpleasantness.
Don’t make your Spouse feel less Important
You may have a spouse who is considerate and has no issues with you being in touch with all your old friends after marriage. However, make sure that you do not make your better half feel any less important. When that happens, an unpleasant ego battle will start.
Decide on Topics
Friends after marriage need not necessarily mean that they are married too. If you decide to keep these friends, then, it is best to avoid too much of a certain topic that is specific to a married woman. For example, household chores, cooking for in-laws or even pregnancy may not be exciting to an unmarried woman. Have fun with your friends, take their advice, but keep them away from monotonous and boring topics.