Editor’s Note: There are a lot of words that people say when it comes to talking about marriage and how to make it work. But this lady has bared the real truths behind what makes a marriage work and keeps it safe. Below are the thoughts of our IL member samal. Contribute your thoughts with us here.
Be aware that marriage is a package that comes with pain. Be ready to face it. Sound negative, but this is the true. So no too much expectations…
Try to understand your husband and other members in the new family. Give some time for it. Never hurry for the baby. Overnight change will not happen. Enjoy the honeymoon period.
Try to have small discussions and understand what your husband expects from his wife. Know his tastes. Likewise, you slowly convey, what you expect from your husband. Find, where you don’t match and be cautious on that.
Dress according to his taste often(we do need to dress to our likes). Not necessary every day. Some men like homely look, some modern look. Try both and find which attracts him.
Whole day may not be possible, at least when DH returns from office, keep your look fresh. Bath and makeover will also help. Keep your house arranged and kids neatly dressed. Doing this even brings good energy in you.
Spend time together going out weekly.
Make your kid more attached to their father. This will save your marriage. Evening, take tea together and have small chat. Tell him, what your kid did in that day. When he is at home, establish your presence. Ask your child to give him a glass water as soon as he enters the house.
If you happen to be with joint family, try to be a working DIL. Let your DH spent for the family and you do the saving for your kids. Discuss to dh on plan and investments
If in laws plays trick, ignore or irritate you, do not respond to it. Show them nothing will work with you. At least pretend you are unaffected. If not, don’t complain toyour dh, make him watch the drama. At one point they will drop. You only need little patience.
Don’t complain about his family members on his face or in front of them and expect him to support you in front of them. You will get disappointed. There is always a time for everything, wait for it. Instead of saying your mother not helping me, just tell him your mother gets tired as she is sick or old. Ask him for the suggestion. First time, it may not work. Keep repeating with due interval. It will work.
Never entertain them to give comments on your parents or visit to your parent’s house. If they try to stop, be bold enough to say your parents are as important as his parents.
It is common to have misunderstandings and fights. Do not carry it for more than three days.