Editor’s Note; Why is troubles in the the hands of the in-laws so common place nowadays? Or has it been there for a long time? Maybe we are just expressing it now. The women of the bygone era decided to keep mum about it. But the question is, why do daughter in laws always face so much of misery? why can’t the in laws realize that even we, women, are part of their family now. or is it just us? Just us, our thoughts, our independence, our ideologies that cause the problem?
What do you think? Share your views with us here. Here is an incident told to us by one of our readers about the troubles that she faces from her in laws.
Well, after marriage and parenting, where else can I be? I am about to flood this forum with the tsunami of my thoughts. If thoughts could drown, I think this forum would have vanished by now.
If you notice the traffic, after Hobbies, Arts & Crafts and Our Communtiy, Marriage, Spouse & In-Laws is the third most posted forum. And in that apart from Married Section, Relationship with In-Laws is the second, 64,500+ posts and counting. Whew!! Relationship with parents and siblings comes 5th..Wow!! That is something to think about for me.
Most of the time, I look into relationship forum, and it just pains me to see how many women are suffering. Some are in real mess, only GOD can give them strength to get through with what they are enduring. But most of the time, women “”feel”” they have a problem. Most problems are so petty.. So petty, it makes me laugh. Let me rush to add here, I am not a preacher by any chance. Neither do I think so highly of myself to call others’ problems as petty. I have had my share of pettiness too. I have written few posts, regretted it, then wanted to delete it, but unfortunately realized there is no such option in IL. Been there, done that..
Though I had a fantastic childhood,as I was the youngest in my family. Naturally I was pampered by everyone, including my aunts, uncle, cousins. I got the best in everything. Maybe everyone feels the same about their childhood, maybe I am no exception. I don’t know.
As I have mentioned elsewhere in my other posts, I had my set of problems.
Then the next phase of my life started. My marriage. To say I was naive will be an understatement. I was foolish. Foolish enough to think, nothing changes after marriage, I’ll go from one home to another. Big deal. Even if I face any problems, I’ll be able to solve with my goodness and confidence (as my equally foolish friends had me believe). I am going from one mother’s lap to another. All this MIL/DIL/SIL saga is not going to happen in my life. No way. I am going to make sure it doesn’t. I actually told my younger SIL/BIL not to call me bhabhi and call me didi.. Cos I didn’t want to have a bhabhi kinda relationship with them. I wanted them to be my own bro/sis. Luckily they didn’t, they still call me bhabhi. I was going to floor my In-Laws with my goodness. yeah, u got it right. They are gonna be charmed. Or so I thought. (see, I used to think even then)
Well, nothing happened as I planned. Even mine turned out to be a regular in-laws drama. Let me not go into details as there are plenty available on this forum already. I was at a loss, where I was going wrong? I was holding myself responsible for all that was happening. If there was any misunderstanding between DH and ILs, I used to think I was somehow responsible for that. And tried my best to clear it. I was feeling guilty for all that was happening, but when I look back, I can’t figure out, how could I have been responsible for any misunderstanding between blood relations. I used to think, some or the other day, they’ll change. Maybe circumstances are making them behave like that. I am the one who is having evil thoughts. I was punishing myself with my thoughts and spoiling my health. I just couldn’t figure out where I was going wrong. My whole life was revolving around my inlaws. Even if I raise my kids, at the back of the mind i’ll be thinking, am i right.. If they come to know, will they approve… Be it feeding my kids, bathing, dressing, teaching.. whatever.