I informed my parents about everything (no secrets) now because I have lost interest to make this marriage work.They are really scared for me.In this situation his mom is going to come for US trip at the end of this month,so things are going to get worse.I told him I am going to India because I am really upset and my dad will arrange for tickets.He looked sad and told me he will discuss about this later.A day later he told me its not such a good idea and started blaming me that I made this decision myself without consulting him.I just told him I needed to go,I am depressed.He finally said”Look its your call,don’t blame me later.If you go there your parents will support you and mom will support me and this is going to end badly.”The worst part is he’s not even feeling guilty about it.I told him I was wrong and will never talk bad about his mom again,will he promise not to raise his hands against me in future?For that question he put another question to me whether my decision will change if he promised?When I told I don’t know,he said don’t bother.We are not on talking terms for a week,I just ask him to have his food other than that no conversations.My parents are fully supportive and though they want me to stay here to give a last try,they told that its entirely up to me.They still have the ray of hope that if baby comes he will be better,though I have lost that hope.So currently I have decided to stay here just for me and for them that tomorrow I shouldn’t regret that I didn’t try harder.This is the final straw.
Here are some facts you guys should now-
1)The first year of our marriage was blissful in spite of MIL problems,it was like we understood each other perfectly well.Thinking back now had I been in touch with his mom (inspite of her horrible,rotten mouth that drove me into depression)when he was good to me,maybe I would not be blamed this badly.I made very few attempts,wish I had let go of the ego that time.
2)The shift in his behaviour towards me started when we found out that I had low progesterone lvls and hormonal imbalance.That’s when his mom started constantly pestering him,putting negative thoughts into his head.That continues to this day.
3)He does show care for me in his own way.Simple things but very thoughtful-like remembering and showing me places I wanted to see without even me asking for it,even when we get into nasty arguments he can’t remain mum for long.He’s the first to make up and cheer me up(he did that this time too,not in a “i am sorry” kind of way but “don’t make this big issue take it lightly” sort of way.Always asks if I have eaten.He went for buying groceries after we fought and he didn’t forget to buy lettuce and apples.(he doesn’t eat that)
4)For a person who is really brilliant in academics and at work,he’s pretty dumb at understanding human emotions.I don’t think he even realizes I am very serious about separating and I am actually prepared for it. He doesn’t understand to the lvl I am affected because of his hurtful remarks.I have tried making him understand,but its useless.This guy drove me into depression,I can’t sleep well for the past few months and I am constantly under stress.
5)”You spoilt my life.”,”I am unlucky.Just look at X couple,they got married after us and they will have baby even before you do..”,”No fault from my side,its all your fault..”,”when you have fault,you have to compromise and feel guilty.you tried for 1.5 yrs why not ask my mother and follow what she says?”,”no one in my family is talking with me nowadays its all because of you”-these are some of the random crude comments he has made the last few months.
6)He has made remarks directly/indirectly that he’s disappointed in what my dad did for us.He’s very affected by the fact that all my jewels are kept in my name and in my control rather than him or his mom.I made it very clear to him before marriage that we won’t give dowry,but everything changed after he tied the knot.My dad did put FD of 1 lakh as a joint account in both our names going against my wishes and saying its our custom,but still H is not satisfied.
Based on his arguments how much good he is with me depends on these factors-“how I am with his mom”,”how much I listen to him” and to some extent “what my parents gave him”.I am sick of his narrow minded attitude and I am angry at myself for marrying this guy.Now that he’s gotten physical,I can’t take this crap anymore.The latest was just a trigger incident, I have been frustrated for months. Is this marriage worth saving?
