Editor’s Note: How much can a woman take from her in-laws? When does the going get impossible? What do we do then? Our member jewel4u86 shares her woes with us. Tell us what the solution for her would be. Write to us here.
I am fed up with my mother in law she always creates issues whenever I want to go to my parents house. Her temperature increases. She is ruling my dh’s mind. She has filled dh mind with all negativity. She acts and shows as if whatever she does is right and I am doing is wrong. She always blames me and family for any incident. In these two years of married life, my MIL always finds one or the other way to insult or blame me and my family. She intentionally speaks such words which creates negative impression in my husbands mind. My husband is already against my parents. He does not want me to go to my parents house any day. My sis’s marriage is after 4 days, and everything is pending. my mothers health is not good, my father is busy with his profession, brother is younger. So I have to manage each and everything. now at the last moment if i dont go and handle the situation it would be very difficult to manage all the things. My MIL is aware of it then too she does thing due to which distance between me and my husband increases.
I am telling you some of the circumstances.
Few days back my husband went into our room and locked it. So i was knocking on the door in a hard, manner as i was tired and i wanted to get in the room. So she told my FIL that as she has came from her mother’s house she is fighting. So there was a negative impact of me on my husnand and FIL
My MIL always knocks our door around 5 pm in the morning to wake up my husband for his gym. But her intention is to discuss about me and my family on my back. They do this things everyday. And everyday she fills his mind with all the wrong things and make him against my parents and family.
Day before yesterday i told my dh and MIL that i will be going to my house as they need my support, So my dh told u will go on 29th. I did not reply as i did not want to make any issues. Then my mil told that you have to come back on 28th as on 29th its my marriage anniversary. I said ok. Then the topic was over at that time. Then yesterday when I asked my husband that are you coming to drop me at my place he said yes. Then intentionally at that time my mil asked me where are you going I said to my parents house. She started saying that your hubby told u to go on 29th then why are you going today. I did not want to make any issue so I told her that he was kidding. So she again asked my hubby that were u kidding? Have u permitted her to go? So he said no, I have not permitted her. In this way she wanted to create an impression in his mind that I am doing the things against his wishes and want to create a distance between us.When I asked her that mom why are you raising the issues she shouted at my that I am not raising an issue. You asked so I replied to you that what I was asking ur hubby, then she said I was kidding, then she said whenever you want to go to your house you create issues and spoil the mood. Etc. etc. I called my hubby and told that you know that every preparation for the marriage is pending and I have to go and help then so please let me go, so he said I have not stopped u. But my mil interfered in between us and created a bad situation and filled up his mind with the negativity.
She keeps on hammering in my husband’s mind that I’m doing everything against his wishes. As well as she has filled up his mind in such a way that he never permits me to go to my parents house. He also tells me that you are going to your house against my wish. You don’t want to listen us, you get angry if we say no. and if you want to do as per ur wish then dont ask us.
What is wrong in going to parents house? As he needs his parents and his parents needs him in the same way I also need my parents and they also need me. Why do they not understand this things and creates issues.
She always creates such a situation which is always against me and my family. My mother is suffering from liver cirhossis and she is not able to run and get the things done. She never forces me to help her out. But being a child its my duty to help her. But my hubby and in-laws does not understand this things.
My hubby does not care if I go to my parents but my mil makes such situation due to which he takes things negatively. She has created impression on my in-laws side that my family is bad and no relations should be kept with them. She leaves not a single chance to utter bad things about my parents. I could not stand this and sometime I reply back. How long shall I bear the insult of my parents. They have taken care of me how can I hear bad things about them.
Now how do I tackle this?
Why do we DILs always have to bear the in-laws bad words and harassment?