It was a joint family. Younger brother didn’t go to college so he got married first. Because he didn’t go to college his wife was sent to Ayurvedic Medicine College on NRI (paid) seat. She lived in a hostel. They’d a 2 year old girl. My ex-husband flunked BSc, so he was sent to some college in AP to get MBBS (also on a paid seat, took him 8 years). According to FIL- they liked me for their son because I was NET qualified and doing PhD from a good institute.
Second day of wedding, FIL called me in the family room and told me what was expected from me. ‘You should finish PhD in 6 months; I’ve talked to an MLA to get you a job at the local university (by giving my dowry money to the same politician who secured job for the husband).
Because university job is so easy (you only need to go for an hour a day), you’d be the one taking care of BIL’s kid and your own kids’. When I told him that it will take me at least 2 more years to finish my PhD and a university job is not what they think, I was told to shut up.
My life was all planned out and I didn’t even have a say in it. If that wasn’t shock enough, husband tried to physically abuse me but I stood up to that and he could not lift his hand. Well, he found his way and abused me verbally and emotionally.
As someone else mentioned, all the money should go to FIL and then you get pocket money. They’d (including this so-called MBBS doctor) no concept of what a PhD is. They didn’t let me get internet connection (my parents gave a PC as part of the dowry) and I was told to ask MIL to accompany me when I’d to go to internet café to get relevant papers for my research (internet meant porn for the doctor).
I was blamed of having an affair with my PhD advisor (a male professor). My cousins (My mother’s side of family lived 2 houses down to us) were cheap lads who must have relations (read physical) with me that was the reason they used to visit me.
FIL went to my bank to look at my account details. I was even asked to give them all the money that I earned before marriage (I didn’t do). If someone on the street asks for direction that means I knew that person and must have slept with him. In the beginning I didn’t know how to react. I cried.
After few months, I started ignoring my exFILs rude comments, he wanted me to clip his nails because other DIL did that and put on socks because he didn’t know how to -really? His son though didn’t find it weird either and supported his father.
I got pregnant after 6 months of this torture and of course my body wasn’t ready to nurture a new life. I started bleeding, Gyn suggested complete bed rest to avoid miscarriage. They asked me to go to my parents’ house because they’re unable to take care of a sick DIL.
