A controversial new book argues that infidelity and marriage are entirely compatible. Eric Anderson, Author of Men, Love and Reality of cheating, goes even further. He makes the extraordinary claim that Men have affairs not despite the fact that they love their partners but because they do.
Research says that spouses are almost unaware of what’s going on at close quarters. Well the apple does not fall far from the tree woe me, as I was about to discover.
I had not been paying as much attention to what was happening beneath my nose compared to what I read online. My husband is the jovial fun loving and easy going person who innocently took on gardening as a hobby. I nurtured the step into gardening as I was tempted with visions of luscious veggie and fruits.
He started during the cold months and steadily got a collection of seed ready and a mound of rich mud strewn across the back yard. Soon our tables and every open ground space inside the house were overtaken by seeds being planted indoors.
As soon as he came back from work he would walk around all the small disposable environment friendly cups holding seeds and would eagerly peek into each to see if they have sprouted. It was more likely his long nose made a dent in the soil than a seedling popped up.
Over days and sometimes weeks the saplings did come up. This was when I noticed a change come over my dearly beloved husband.
His mild mannered nature and smiling countenance disappeared when someone approached his seedlings. He became angry if we dared to try touch his saplings. He exhibited symptoms of a new mother whose new born could be threatened. My son and I watched in apprehension at all these changes my husband exhibited but innocently assumed he was harmless.
Everything started to escalate when the weather started to warm and he could take his saplings outdoors. Now he became so possessive he would let no one disturb his tender seedlings planted in their new home. Every day he would painstakingly see the young ones were doing well with enough water and nourishment. If even a harsh wind were to blow their way he would turn mother and hover over them and protect them with hastily wrapped sheets over their young heads. He seemed to live for his vegetable gardens. Gone were the days the two of us spent time drinking tea. Nowadays I had to take tea to the plants as he found it difficult to remain away from them.
The romance progressed over the summer season. Soon his precious plants started to yield vegetables. He became a Proud Papa. We got fed up of hearing him boast of the powers of his plants. It seemed he could talk about nothing but the vegetable plants.
Even from work he would call me to remind me if something needed to be done in the garden.
I finally understood the meaning of the lines.. “Men have affairs not despite the fact that they love their partners but because they do”.
Yes my husband has found love in the garden and with the plants because he wanted me to have fresh vegetables and roses and his love for me found a new expression when he enjoyed bringing them indoors to me.