Where do expectations come from?
Our expectations come from our own experiences in relationships and by observing partners see around us. Most expectations are based on basic emotional and physical needs we have as well as hopes for the ideal relationship. It’s not true. Everyone are unique. You and me or every reader is unique. You can’t have what others have. You don’t or never know the true story behind their relationships. Sometimes your partner may not understand your personal expectations because of communication difficulties, busy schedules or not knowing your expectations.
When couples fight : All couples fight. If you hear someone saying they never fight?. Check out if they ever talk! . Learn how to fight so that you both come out as Winners
Some tips for better Married life:
- Give each other an appraisal once in A while. Evaluate and praise the good aspects and point out areas for improvement . You are the boss at home.
- Develop and use networks. IL is the best place. There might be many others struggling with the same issues like you- meet and learn from them
- Set yourself up for success not failure
- Use strategies to derive maximum benefit from the least input.Learn multitasking and other skills such as time management.
- Accept the differences
- Relationship with the in-laws : Tons of information in IL
- Discuss expectations with your partner : It is very important to be clear about each of your roles in running the household.
- Discuss mutual goals & values
- Being right versus being happy
Striking a balance between what you think is right and what your DH thinks, is going to be crucial to keep the peace. Things are rarely black and white, so swimming in the grey is an essential part of a happy marriage! Don’t allow egos to get in the way of reaching an amicable agreement. Sometimes choosing to be happy over being right may be a better option. You don’t have to agree with everything that your partner feels but you can certainly respect their opinion without being disagreeable. - Give some space
- Keep the romance alive
- Don’t hold on to your anger. Tell your DH as specifically as you can about what has made you angry – listen to him with an open mind as well.
- What doesn’t help?? Sulking, taking your anger out on someone else (often a helpless DS or DD) ??. None of these resolves the issue. If you want something to change, you have to talk about the problem.
- Fighting (fairly) is good for a relationship. It keeps you communicating , helps you understand each other’s needs and feelings better and work out better ways of relating. It adds spice to your life – and making up can be great!
- Stay in touch with your friends and stay involved in activities that you enjoy. IL will help in this.
