A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.
– Andre Maurois
A happy married life requires a great deal of effort from both the partners. Marriage is a work in process and sometimes it can get overwhelming. Here are a few basic rules that you can follow to make your marriage a success:
- Always remember that your husband has impeccable taste. He chose YOU.
- Do not ridicule him, his family, their customs and habits, praising yours and deriding his in front of others. It is nauseating.
- Don’t be possessive. Remember, before you came into his life he had his family and friends. They still are part of his life and now yours too. Get along with them.
- Don’t look upon your in-laws with disdain. They brought him up just the way you were brought up.
- Do not argue while in company; e.g. sulking in parties because your husband has a drink. Iron out your differences BEFORE leaving home.
- Also do not flirt in public; you’ll end up getting branded.
- If he praises his mom’s cooking do not get upset. Her cooking was the first he tasted and the memory will never fade.
- You are a team and there’s no “I” in TEAM. Always let the world know you are both together in every decision you make, right or wrong.
- Don’t nag him on the bad decisions he had made. He is probably hurting inside and regrets putting you through it.
- If you were right and he was wrong, curb the instinct to say “I told you so”. Instead assure him that it’s alright and move on. We all make mistakes and learn from it.
- Take care of your appearance. Remember that before marriage you did everything to look beautiful so that he’ll want to spend the rest of his life with you. Be neat and well-groomed; no drab and crumpled “housecoats” please!
- Don’t throw a tantrum if he forgets your birthday or wedding anniversary! He hasn’t forgotten you! Cook a special meal or ask him to meet you at a restaurant after work and gently remind him of the special day!
- Take interest in his area of work and learn something about it yourselves.
- Let him have his space, his friends, and his hobbies, which may be different from yours. Discuss the limitations first.
- Teach your children to respect their father by showing him respect in their presence. Make it clear to them that you always stand by his decision.
- Develop a sense of humor and laugh at his jokes and take his teasing in good spirits.
- Don’t expect him to say “I love you” and shower you with flowers and gifts all the time. Identify the love he shows in different ways; understand him and you’ll never need the frivolous and shallow expressions.
- Have a smile ready for him; talk to him gently and most importantly – to exercise all the above, develop immense patience.