The secret of a happy marriage is to fall in love many times. With the same person silly, what did you think?
Life is something that you should not take for granted and least of all marriage. But that is something most couples do. First couple of years we are so much in love that life is like one seen through rose tinted glasses. Then the novelty rubs off and other things take priority. We have our jobs to take care of, relatives to please, and friends to chill out with and yes if we have children, then that is the top most priority. Even before we realize it, we hardly have any ‘we-time’ as a couple. We just take for granted that we are still in love.
Well, am not saying that love vanishes. It is very much there, hidden under layers and layers of other stuff. And one morning when you wake up and you are past your prime, you feel that you have lost those precious moments and you have been running like a headless chicken.
You may still be married to your spouse but you may feel totally alienated from him or her. There may be a few unfortunate ones who may also choose to go separate ways.
So my friend, take charge while there is still time. It really does not take too much effort to recreate the magic and fall in love again. But yes, it does take some determination, at least initially.
Bottom line is you will need to spend quality time with each other if you want your marriage to remain fresh. And for that you will need to create the time.
Here are a few doable tips that might come handy.
Get Healthy Together:
How about starting the day together in a healthy way? If you are the health freak kind of couple who believe in using the gym regularly, then there is nothing like working out together. Choose a slot that suits both of you, and workout together. Motivate each other. That one hour in the gym together will start the ball rolling. Trust me on this.
Show Your Feelings:
How many of us do not use Facebook or Twitter or for that matter any social networking sites? Near to none. So why not use it to prop your romance? Post love messages to each other. Appreciate something your spouse did for you on his/her wall for all your friends to see and ‘like’ and ‘comment’.
Nothing works like mass adulation to make anyone feel special. But yes, if either of you are not too comfortable with public display of virtual affection, then steer clear of this idea.
Send Surprise Gifts:
The other day I sent a beautiful bunch of tiger lilies to my husband’s office with a love note. No, it was no special day for either of us, nothing at all. I just wanted to tell him how much I loved him. And boy, was he touched! And was he in a romantic mood when he came to pick me up from work. Sending surprise gifts/flowers/notes always works.
Take Time Out For Each Other:
Kids are those precious little things that don’t leave you with even a nano-second of time that you can call your own, and why not. They are such delightful bundle of joys and stress busters. So they will demand their price.
But try and take time out at least once in two weeks and go out with your spouse, just the two of you. Go out for a movie or dinner or just for a drive. Vary it every time. Some days you may feel like just talking and want to go to places where you dated before just out of nostalgia. Some days you may want a candle light dinner, although I really fail to find romance in a dim-lit corner where you can’t even see your food! But that’s me.
Make sure you call each other at least once every day from work/home no matter how busy you are. Just to ask what he is doing or how is her day progressing. Need not be an hour long conversation. If you are the world’s busiest person, then you may even try texting.
The crux of the matter is, it’s your relationship. You want to keep it strong and fresh, you have to work on it. No genie can come out and grant you your wish.