“A family which does chores together …stays happy together”, is an adage I have often heard while growing up. In those early years, I felt this was just my mother’s way to get me to do some housework (which I detested then). My parents were both working and hence the house chores were divided amongst them initially and thereafter, (once my brother, and I had grown up) amongst the four of us. Now, after marriage and a child, I realize the depth and value of these wise words.
Research has shown that to improve the quality of a marriage, partners should share the home-related work too. This intensifies their bond further. In fact, earlier studies have shown that at the time of the transition to parenthood both husband and wife need to increase their share in the house chores to maintain higher marital harmony. In order to achieve this equation, it would be wise to have a separate household chore list right from the ‘just married’ stage. This allows the couple to incorporate these chores in their daily routine. It is thus easier to cope with parenthood transition with additional chores and responsibilities. Given below are a few tips to bring this harmony into your married life:
Instead of getting stressed and exhausted trying to be a superwoman and doing it all, try sitting your husband down and explaining the situation to him.
Make the list
List down the chores, which need to be done daily, monthly, quarterly and yearly. This could include taking the kids for their classes, cleaning, taking out the garbage, paying the bills, cleaning the garage, getting the car serviced, etc.
Discuss and reach an agreement
Listen, discsuss and agree with each other before finalizing each one’s chore list. Write it down and stick the list in a prominent place. Do not nag your spouse for any unfinished chore and appreciate his contribution whenever the task is completed. If the task hasn’t been done even at the end of the week, bring it up when you sit down to chat and share experiences post this work allocation.
Gone are the days of playing traditional gender-typed roles. Being actively involved in the childrearing and household chores has a huge positive impact on your marriage. Listed down are a few benefits of sharing household responsibilities with your spouse:
- Sharing household chores helps husband and wife to see each other as a team which improves your chances of making your marriage a success.
- Bonding with each other whilst doing these chores will assist in strengthening your relationship and will help erase any sense of inequality.
- Both of you will be happier and will have more energy. This can be a win-win situation for your marriage.
- A husband, having a good father-child relationship would mean a healthier relationship with his wife too.
- In case of illness or absence of one partner, the other partner is not helpless and can tackle the house chores.
- Couples who equally share the housework have lesser tendency to seek divorce.
- Division of labour at home results in each partner having an equal footing at their own home. They tend to do well at their assigned tasks and have mutual respect for each other.
In conclusion, the extent to which housework is shared is now considered as one of the most important indicators of a woman’s marital satisfaction. Hence, when a couple divides chores in a way that both spouses feel satisfied with the outcome, they are showing mutual respect for each other. Doing the household chores as a couple can be fun, if you have the right attitude. These simple connections in daily life will enhance marital satisfaction and improve the quality of your marriage.