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The Joys and Travails of Parenting

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Parenting, Pain, Pleasure

You want it, you don’t want it.

It is either too early for it and you plan assiduously, or it is too late and you pray vehemently.

And when it happens…

One moment it is the most gratifying gift on planet earth, the next you feel weighed down by the sheer relentlessness of the demands it makes on you.

You start out as a novice and discover that you are one for life.

It looks like you have bagged the most unique offer in the world and then you are repeatedly stung by the competitive bug- has she got a better deal than me?

And so on.

The pains and pleasures of parenting, sigh…the craziest roller-coaster ride in life! You want it all inside out when you are downside up.

Nothing seems more precious than that evading silence and sleep in the night (forget daytime!) after you have so lovingly brought home the bundle of joy. You like the cute smile the baby has learnt to bestow on you but you count the hours to his next bout of (hopefully sound) sleep. She is all you and yours- the doll!- with her bright eyes and curly hair but you would like someone (preferably mummy) to raise her for you. Her first words are divine but you want someone else to tutor her to preschool asap. You have till now stifled yawns gleaning over articles about parental pressure and what not but now that Tinu is 2, you cannot afford to let society sideline her. She must do a dance number in the New Year program. Or wield the fairy’s wand in the fancy dress competition. Phew! 4 hours spent sticking the damn silver foil on the stick while Tinu in diapers is busy applying toothpaste all over herself, blissfully unaware of her filial duties! Drop her at the summer camp, it will build her character. No way, she can barely take care of herself, I am her father and I do not want all this new-fangled nonsense in my home. Safety first, you hear? Hear? Nothing is heard especially not the voice of the spouse or that of reason.

And thus the endless loops of the roller-coaster accelerate…expectations, competitions, comparisons, anxieties, hopes and so on till it is time to step down the roller-coaster, arthritic knees et al. Hopefully the fairy of yesteryear, fortified by her summer camp experiences and her mother’s push and father’s pull is in society’s limelight, with her degree and her worldly wisdom and a plum place(ment) where it matters. The pay packet speaks it all. For all.

You may be basking in the overseas sun, adapting to new values of new generations.  You may be wiping off a tear under your thick glasses, looking at that dog-earred photo of the chubby fairy for the hundredth time. In the solitude of the retirement home.

Call it a good roll of the dice. Call it sound investment. Call it a great learning experience which shaped YOUR character like life was one unending summer camp!

Or maybe it was an all-guzzling ordeal which drove you bankrupt-emotionally, financially.

Professional hazards, you see, of defining parenting!

But as Khalil Gibran so eloquently puts it

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

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About Meera

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Karva Chauth Rules

Once Chitragupt went angrily to Brahmaji and said, “You really need to stop this whole ‘karva chauth’ thing.
All these women want the same husband for seven lives.
It is getting very difficult to keep track!”

Overhearing his predicament, Narad Muni suggested, “Let’s introduce an amendment.
Any woman who wishes for the same husband for all seven lives, will also get the same mother-in-law for seven lives!”

Needless to say, that year Chitragupt’s workload decreased drastically! continue reading...


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Thought for the day!

Worry gives small things a big shadow. In the end, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.


-Unknown

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Saturday, April 19th, 2014
What's in store for you today?
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Your Fortune For Today
Saturday, April 19th, 2014

A number of invitations to social events could come your way today, some from people you really don’t know well. Don’t pass them up, however. You could make some fortunate contacts or even some new friends at these parties. You enjoy being around people, but today you might find it a bit tedious. Your heart is with your family. You’re probably looking forward to being at home and cuddling with a romantic partner.

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You may feel as if people have turned against you today and that they’ve suddenly lost interest in what you have to say. Maybe this is a reflection of your own inability to truly listen to someone else talking. Look at the collective picture and open your eyes to the world around you. Get involved in the community instead of only focusing on you all the time.

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Right now, you seem to be in a balanced state of mind. You are finally able to accept what went wrong in past relationships and learn from them. Also, because of this newfound calm, you are comfortable in the present situation as well which is further helped by support from loved ones. It’s important to be quiet and listen by mediating and try to get in touch with your inner self.

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You’ve got a lot on your mind right now and others might be interpreting your quiet behavior as your being aloof. Go right ahead and let them think whatever they want. You’ve got some real issues to think through, and decisions with important consequences to come up with. You’ll be able to smooth their ruffled feathers later. Right now, just focus on taking care of yourself.

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Dreams with mixed messages might trouble your sleep tonight. One minute you’ll be having a wonderful dream, and the next could be black and gloomy. Write them down. The message is probably more positive than it appears. Worries about money might plague you throughout the day, yet things probably aren’t as bad as they seem. Make sure you learn the facts about your situation before allowing yourself to panic!

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Today, anxiety may rule your head for better part of the day. You might have a feeling that something is wrong and may be twitchy and nervous the whole day. There is a chance that you may go on a wrong track with this mindset so make sure to take deep breaths and relax, especially before making any important decisions.

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Feel free to enlist your own creativity today to solve any problem that may come your way. Don’t feel like you absolutely need to take a rational and methodical approach. This sort of frame of mind has already been tried. Now it’s time to explore a more intuitive way to complete any task that you wish to tackle now. Exercise more of your sensitive nature.

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Someone who lives far away, someone you haven’t heard from for a long time, could give you a surprise phone call today. You’ll be delighted and probably stay on the phone too long. You might need to run a few errands, but the weather could keep you indoors. Don’t worry about it. You’ll still have time to take care of other pressing matters. You should be feeling especially artistic right now. Be creative!

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A temporary separation from someone close to you could have you reflecting on the good times you’ve spent together, especially over the past few weeks. You’re likely to talk with him or her on the phone. You’re feeling a lot of warmth and affection toward everyone around you, but a little sad as well, particularly when you think of those far away. Call them up! They’ll be glad to hear from you.

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Who are you closer to?
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