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The Joys and Travails of Parenting

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Parenting, Pain, Pleasure

You want it, you don’t want it.

It is either too early for it and you plan assiduously, or it is too late and you pray vehemently.

And when it happens…

One moment it is the most gratifying gift on planet earth, the next you feel weighed down by the sheer relentlessness of the demands it makes on you.

You start out as a novice and discover that you are one for life.

It looks like you have bagged the most unique offer in the world and then you are repeatedly stung by the competitive bug- has she got a better deal than me?

And so on.

The pains and pleasures of parenting, sigh…the craziest roller-coaster ride in life! You want it all inside out when you are downside up.

Nothing seems more precious than that evading silence and sleep in the night (forget daytime!) after you have so lovingly brought home the bundle of joy. You like the cute smile the baby has learnt to bestow on you but you count the hours to his next bout of (hopefully sound) sleep. She is all you and yours- the doll!- with her bright eyes and curly hair but you would like someone (preferably mummy) to raise her for you. Her first words are divine but you want someone else to tutor her to preschool asap. You have till now stifled yawns gleaning over articles about parental pressure and what not but now that Tinu is 2, you cannot afford to let society sideline her. She must do a dance number in the New Year program. Or wield the fairy’s wand in the fancy dress competition. Phew! 4 hours spent sticking the damn silver foil on the stick while Tinu in diapers is busy applying toothpaste all over herself, blissfully unaware of her filial duties! Drop her at the summer camp, it will build her character. No way, she can barely take care of herself, I am her father and I do not want all this new-fangled nonsense in my home. Safety first, you hear? Hear? Nothing is heard especially not the voice of the spouse or that of reason.

And thus the endless loops of the roller-coaster accelerate…expectations, competitions, comparisons, anxieties, hopes and so on till it is time to step down the roller-coaster, arthritic knees et al. Hopefully the fairy of yesteryear, fortified by her summer camp experiences and her mother’s push and father’s pull is in society’s limelight, with her degree and her worldly wisdom and a plum place(ment) where it matters. The pay packet speaks it all. For all.

You may be basking in the overseas sun, adapting to new values of new generations.  You may be wiping off a tear under your thick glasses, looking at that dog-earred photo of the chubby fairy for the hundredth time. In the solitude of the retirement home.

Call it a good roll of the dice. Call it sound investment. Call it a great learning experience which shaped YOUR character like life was one unending summer camp!

Or maybe it was an all-guzzling ordeal which drove you bankrupt-emotionally, financially.

Professional hazards, you see, of defining parenting!

But as Khalil Gibran so eloquently puts it

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

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About Meera

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Poor Eyesight

Tim asked Bob “What happened to your uncle’s boat?”

“Ever notice that big rock at the entrance to the Golden Gate?” said Bob.

“Yes, I have” replied Tim.

“Well, he didn’t” said Bob. continue reading...


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Thought for the day!

“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of the pieces.”


-Judith Viorst

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Thursday, August 21st, 2014
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Your Fortune For Today
Thursday, August 21st, 2014

You have become quite a wanderer today! Even while working, your mind will roam from one thing to another. It’s best to focus your energy on important issues and try to work harder since it could improve your life. Stimulate your mind and feel free to join a class if your instinct is pointing in that direction. Keep a positive attitude and an unbiased mind if you really want to move forward.

This is one of those days in which you might not be fully appreciated for the wonderful breath of fresh air you bring to the group. Revenge of the stale and old may be coming into the fold today. Don’t give in to negative forces trying to keep you from fully expressing yourself. Have confidence that you have what it takes to be successful in whatever path you decide to follow.

This is a good day to make a list and work through it. Try to stay organized. Contact with people should be pleasant and productive. You’ll be sociable and relaxed. Someone who is more withdrawn and perhaps going through a hard time can benefit from your kindness and encouragement.

Your mind is in great turmoil right now, so it isn’t surprising that you can’t pay much attention to anything. It’s as though your concept of the world has been inexorably changed and you see your love life and career with new eyes. Even so, you feel compelled to pick up the pieces of the past and save them. The day ahead should help you let go of the old world.

You’ll enjoy being at the centre of things. Break the usual routines and do something new. Playful and passionate energy fires up your appetite for food and other sensual pleasures. Friends can easily influence your decisions. Since you give your whole self to anything, impulsiveness could be a problem.

You may fear being ordinary or jealous if you don’t come in first. A silly argument could deteriorate into a shouting match if you’re too wrapped up in yourself. Overreaching has no lasting results. It would be a mistake to spread any sort of gossip or rumor.

The energy today can be a mixed bag. You may feel limited or discouraged in some important areas, so it’s wise to keep things simple. If you can let go of what is no longer working, you can make important breakthroughs in other directions. Wisdom says choose what works.

Some of your demons may rear their ugly head today. Your old insecurities and doubts may come back to haunt you today. You may even battle with tensions relating to money or work. But don’t let them rattle you. Just take a deep breath.

You should try to feel at ease today. Remember that inner peace is a big part of your health. This can be achieved through reflection and a quiet review of where you are in life. Try not to focus too much on material things. Instead, concentrate more on your emotional state. Others are likely to feel more sensitive and weepy as well, so have them join you in this exercise.

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