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The Joys and Travails of Parenting

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Parenting, Pain, Pleasure

You want it, you don’t want it.

It is either too early for it and you plan assiduously, or it is too late and you pray vehemently.

And when it happens…

One moment it is the most gratifying gift on planet earth, the next you feel weighed down by the sheer relentlessness of the demands it makes on you.

You start out as a novice and discover that you are one for life.

It looks like you have bagged the most unique offer in the world and then you are repeatedly stung by the competitive bug- has she got a better deal than me?

And so on.

The pains and pleasures of parenting, sigh…the craziest roller-coaster ride in life! You want it all inside out when you are downside up.

Nothing seems more precious than that evading silence and sleep in the night (forget daytime!) after you have so lovingly brought home the bundle of joy. You like the cute smile the baby has learnt to bestow on you but you count the hours to his next bout of (hopefully sound) sleep. She is all you and yours- the doll!- with her bright eyes and curly hair but you would like someone (preferably mummy) to raise her for you. Her first words are divine but you want someone else to tutor her to preschool asap. You have till now stifled yawns gleaning over articles about parental pressure and what not but now that Tinu is 2, you cannot afford to let society sideline her. She must do a dance number in the New Year program. Or wield the fairy’s wand in the fancy dress competition. Phew! 4 hours spent sticking the damn silver foil on the stick while Tinu in diapers is busy applying toothpaste all over herself, blissfully unaware of her filial duties! Drop her at the summer camp, it will build her character. No way, she can barely take care of herself, I am her father and I do not want all this new-fangled nonsense in my home. Safety first, you hear? Hear? Nothing is heard especially not the voice of the spouse or that of reason.

And thus the endless loops of the roller-coaster accelerate…expectations, competitions, comparisons, anxieties, hopes and so on till it is time to step down the roller-coaster, arthritic knees et al. Hopefully the fairy of yesteryear, fortified by her summer camp experiences and her mother’s push and father’s pull is in society’s limelight, with her degree and her worldly wisdom and a plum place(ment) where it matters. The pay packet speaks it all. For all.

You may be basking in the overseas sun, adapting to new values of new generations.  You may be wiping off a tear under your thick glasses, looking at that dog-earred photo of the chubby fairy for the hundredth time. In the solitude of the retirement home.

Call it a good roll of the dice. Call it sound investment. Call it a great learning experience which shaped YOUR character like life was one unending summer camp!

Or maybe it was an all-guzzling ordeal which drove you bankrupt-emotionally, financially.

Professional hazards, you see, of defining parenting!

But as Khalil Gibran so eloquently puts it

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

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About Meera

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Odd Question

The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner.

She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, “Does this look natural?” continue reading...


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Thought for the day!

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”


-Audrey Hepburn

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Tuesday, July 29th, 2014
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Your Fortune For Today
Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

An opportunity to do some extra work might come your way today. Don’t turn it down – it might do you a lot of good. You’ll probably enjoy being at home, whether you’re working or relaxing, as happiness seems to reign in the home at this time. Members of your household all seem to be content with their lives, and thus are great company. Enjoy.

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You could wake up this morning, look around, and decide you want to spend as much time as possible working on your home. You could be bored with the decor and want to make some changes. Spend the day coming up with ideas and then tonight try to analyze the situation and see what’s feasible now. Most likely you’ll be able to do some but not all of what you want.

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You may encounter forces that challenge you to defend what you’re doing. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It may be time to make a course correction. If you’re doing something that no longer nurtures your spirit, now is the time to move in a new direction.

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Today your patience may be tested quite a bit. So make sure to keep a cool and calm head when dealing with situations today. You may have tempers flaring at work or frustrations building up at home. Try to take a lead in calming everyone rather than letting it explode. It will be important to keep emotions in check or words will fly that people may regret.

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Find a wide-open field to frolic in today! Pick (or buy) some wildflowers and put them in a vase on your kitchen table. Small things can bring a great deal of sunshine and hope to a stagnant situation. Try your best to clear your mind of unnecessary clutter and open it to new possibilities. Getting out and taking a walk in nature will help you gain a fresh, new perspective.

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Today you can at last express the secrets that have been troubling you. You may be seething with anger inside and afraid to let it show for fear it may explode on contact. Or you may be steaming with a concealed passion for some lucky special someone. The head will rule the heart today, and your mind will be unclouded by any haze of emotion. Perhaps you should take advantage of it.

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Today may be a roller coaster ride for you. You will face a mix of ups and downs and positives and negatives. It could be anything from a raise to a misunderstanding to a successful presentation to a big computer malfunction. Just take it in your stride and don’t lose your focus. Don’t be surprised if you’re recruited to join a project that is totally new to you. You may be apprehensive at first, but you’ll do just fine. Go ahead and say yes.

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Your naturally practical nature will be especially strong today. Do what you can to make your financial condition more secure. This is a lucky day for enjoying simple pleasures close to nature. If you have a sweetheart, plan something special and sensual that you both enjoy. Familiar places are best.

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Today you might feel especially protective toward all those you love: children, family, friends, pets, and the special person in your life. Upsetting news might have you wondering about the future, but don’t let it get you down. All should be well, so allow yourself to relax and enjoy your loved ones.

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