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The Joys and Travails of Parenting

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Parenting, Pain, Pleasure

You want it, you don’t want it.

It is either too early for it and you plan assiduously, or it is too late and you pray vehemently.

And when it happens…

One moment it is the most gratifying gift on planet earth, the next you feel weighed down by the sheer relentlessness of the demands it makes on you.

You start out as a novice and discover that you are one for life.

It looks like you have bagged the most unique offer in the world and then you are repeatedly stung by the competitive bug- has she got a better deal than me?

And so on.

The pains and pleasures of parenting, sigh…the craziest roller-coaster ride in life! You want it all inside out when you are downside up.

Nothing seems more precious than that evading silence and sleep in the night (forget daytime!) after you have so lovingly brought home the bundle of joy. You like the cute smile the baby has learnt to bestow on you but you count the hours to his next bout of (hopefully sound) sleep. She is all you and yours- the doll!- with her bright eyes and curly hair but you would like someone (preferably mummy) to raise her for you. Her first words are divine but you want someone else to tutor her to preschool asap. You have till now stifled yawns gleaning over articles about parental pressure and what not but now that Tinu is 2, you cannot afford to let society sideline her. She must do a dance number in the New Year program. Or wield the fairy’s wand in the fancy dress competition. Phew! 4 hours spent sticking the damn silver foil on the stick while Tinu in diapers is busy applying toothpaste all over herself, blissfully unaware of her filial duties! Drop her at the summer camp, it will build her character. No way, she can barely take care of herself, I am her father and I do not want all this new-fangled nonsense in my home. Safety first, you hear? Hear? Nothing is heard especially not the voice of the spouse or that of reason.

And thus the endless loops of the roller-coaster accelerate…expectations, competitions, comparisons, anxieties, hopes and so on till it is time to step down the roller-coaster, arthritic knees et al. Hopefully the fairy of yesteryear, fortified by her summer camp experiences and her mother’s push and father’s pull is in society’s limelight, with her degree and her worldly wisdom and a plum place(ment) where it matters. The pay packet speaks it all. For all.

You may be basking in the overseas sun, adapting to new values of new generations.  You may be wiping off a tear under your thick glasses, looking at that dog-earred photo of the chubby fairy for the hundredth time. In the solitude of the retirement home.

Call it a good roll of the dice. Call it sound investment. Call it a great learning experience which shaped YOUR character like life was one unending summer camp!

Or maybe it was an all-guzzling ordeal which drove you bankrupt-emotionally, financially.

Professional hazards, you see, of defining parenting!

But as Khalil Gibran so eloquently puts it

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

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About Meera

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A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!" said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl. continue reading...


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Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014
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Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Your creativity is just exploding today. If you are an artist, writer or musician, you could have an amazing opportunity to show your talents to a wider audience. You are a little intimidated by an authority figure of some kind, don’t let that get in your way.

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The special person in your life could be working too hard, causing strain for him or her and frustration for you. Their extra hours at work could interfere with your desire to enjoy quality time together. Your own worries could put a damper on your self-confidence. You might be wondering if you’re doing everything that needs to be done. It might help to make a list and cross off each task you complete.

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Today will hear some good news, probably something that you have been anxiously waiting to hear. Make sure to spend some time today with yourself and let your mind soak in some much needed peace. If you have been planning to make some changes then today is the day for it since good fortune is smiling your way!

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Overindulgence the previous night may leave you feeling a little out of sorts. It’s advisable to spend the day in bed and get some much needed rest. Don’t force yourself to socialize, either. You need some time alone to recover and gather your resources so you can face the world with a clear head.

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Today you might try to continue or complete a creative project of some kind, but your imagination just isn’t working the way it normally does. Also, overindulgence from last night could have you feeling a bit sluggish, which doesn’t help the situation. Put your work aside before you give up on it completely. This is only a temporary situation. Your mind should be back to normal tomorrow.

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Change your lifestyle if you want to get immediate relief from your prolonged tension and strains of life. Put on your track pants and go for a jog or a brisk walk. Make exercise a part of your daily routine and remember to keep smiling as it will go a long way in keeping you healthy.

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If you have been planning to make some significant changes then today is your day. Things will work out in your favour but be on lookout for negative people who might pull you down and make you change your mind. They will have their own hidden agenda and you will do better by sticking to original plans.

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Today is a day you should think about having a lot of fun! Call your friends and plan a fun group activity and try to forget all your work tension today. Just make sure to not make any hasty purchases in your joyous mood since you may regret them later.

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A temporary separation from someone close to you could have you reflecting on the good times you’ve spent together, especially over the past few weeks. You’re likely to talk with him or her on the phone. You’re feeling a lot of warmth and affection toward everyone around you, but a little sad as well, particularly when you think of those far away. Call them up! They’ll be glad to hear from you.

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