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The Joys and Travails of Parenting

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Parenting, Pain, Pleasure

You want it, you don’t want it.

It is either too early for it and you plan assiduously, or it is too late and you pray vehemently.

And when it happens…

One moment it is the most gratifying gift on planet earth, the next you feel weighed down by the sheer relentlessness of the demands it makes on you.

You start out as a novice and discover that you are one for life.

It looks like you have bagged the most unique offer in the world and then you are repeatedly stung by the competitive bug- has she got a better deal than me?

And so on.

The pains and pleasures of parenting, sigh…the craziest roller-coaster ride in life! You want it all inside out when you are downside up.

Nothing seems more precious than that evading silence and sleep in the night (forget daytime!) after you have so lovingly brought home the bundle of joy. You like the cute smile the baby has learnt to bestow on you but you count the hours to his next bout of (hopefully sound) sleep. She is all you and yours- the doll!- with her bright eyes and curly hair but you would like someone (preferably mummy) to raise her for you. Her first words are divine but you want someone else to tutor her to preschool asap. You have till now stifled yawns gleaning over articles about parental pressure and what not but now that Tinu is 2, you cannot afford to let society sideline her. She must do a dance number in the New Year program. Or wield the fairy’s wand in the fancy dress competition. Phew! 4 hours spent sticking the damn silver foil on the stick while Tinu in diapers is busy applying toothpaste all over herself, blissfully unaware of her filial duties! Drop her at the summer camp, it will build her character. No way, she can barely take care of herself, I am her father and I do not want all this new-fangled nonsense in my home. Safety first, you hear? Hear? Nothing is heard especially not the voice of the spouse or that of reason.

And thus the endless loops of the roller-coaster accelerate…expectations, competitions, comparisons, anxieties, hopes and so on till it is time to step down the roller-coaster, arthritic knees et al. Hopefully the fairy of yesteryear, fortified by her summer camp experiences and her mother’s push and father’s pull is in society’s limelight, with her degree and her worldly wisdom and a plum place(ment) where it matters. The pay packet speaks it all. For all.

You may be basking in the overseas sun, adapting to new values of new generations.  You may be wiping off a tear under your thick glasses, looking at that dog-earred photo of the chubby fairy for the hundredth time. In the solitude of the retirement home.

Call it a good roll of the dice. Call it sound investment. Call it a great learning experience which shaped YOUR character like life was one unending summer camp!

Or maybe it was an all-guzzling ordeal which drove you bankrupt-emotionally, financially.

Professional hazards, you see, of defining parenting!

But as Khalil Gibran so eloquently puts it

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

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About Meera

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Thought for the day!

“Say what you mean and act how you feel because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”


-Dr. Seuss

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Wednesday, October 01st, 2014
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Your Fortune For Today
Wednesday, October 01st, 2014

Network as much as possible with people you like. The contacts you establish now can be a foundation for a better life in the months ahead. The best plan you make will be a mix of visionary and practical elements. Avoid moving too quickly or spending more than you have.

Hard work will set you up for a feeling of accomplishment today. Do your best to accept what comes and not worry about the future. Unrealistic fears can limit your ability to find the best solutions. Casual conversations in the neighborhood can be especially satisfying. Be open to friendships with equals.

This is your day! You may find that people gravitate to you for advice and support. They’re apt to lower their guard and more openly accept things you believe in. Conversations could lead to more spiritual topics and you could end up giving lessons on the meaning of life. Suddenly, the things you’ve been thinking are reaching a huge audience that’s eager to hear your words.

Today you might read a book on exercise or nutrition that seems a bit unsettling. According to the book, you’re doing everything wrong! Remember that what the author is probably outlining is a certain practice that worked for him or her. Everyone is different. Don’t change your habits for practices that don’t feel right. Consult a professional if you’re still concerned. Such a person is more than capable of discerning what’s right for you.

A small sum of money could come your way today. It could be that someone pays you what’s owed you, or you could win a small amount in a lottery. You might find a $20 bill lying in the street! Sex and romance are very much on your mind. If you can’t get together with a partner this evening, you might curl up with a steamy novel or watch a romantic video.

Does your job have a good profit-sharing plan, or do you own company stock? If so, expect to hear that its value has skyrocketed beyond what anyone had hoped. This is worthy of celebration. You and your colleagues should do just that. A romantic interest might offer congratulations. This trend is likely to continue. You might be a millionaire some day.

Although you should be feeling especially close to friends, lovers, and family, you might find it hard to communicate with them today. Perhaps they have troubles they prefer to keep private and you’re confused, wondering if they’re upset with you. Chances are they aren’t. However, they probably need to work things out for themselves. Be patient. Try to understand. They may share their problems with you tomorrow.

This is a fantastic day to express your creative energy. It is lucky for sports, romance, art projects, music, and the interests of children. The more passion and enthusiasm you bring to the table, the better. If you are feeling low on energy, find exuberant people to help lift your spirits.

This can be a frustrating day. You may feel you’re standing still and waiting for things to get moving again. All the same, you’ll do your best to be your usually reliable and sensible self. This is a great day to do research to improve your health and fitness.

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