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The Joys and Travails of Parenting

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Parenting, Pain, Pleasure

You want it, you don’t want it.

It is either too early for it and you plan assiduously, or it is too late and you pray vehemently.

And when it happens…

One moment it is the most gratifying gift on planet earth, the next you feel weighed down by the sheer relentlessness of the demands it makes on you.

You start out as a novice and discover that you are one for life.

It looks like you have bagged the most unique offer in the world and then you are repeatedly stung by the competitive bug- has she got a better deal than me?

And so on.

The pains and pleasures of parenting, sigh…the craziest roller-coaster ride in life! You want it all inside out when you are downside up.

Nothing seems more precious than that evading silence and sleep in the night (forget daytime!) after you have so lovingly brought home the bundle of joy. You like the cute smile the baby has learnt to bestow on you but you count the hours to his next bout of (hopefully sound) sleep. She is all you and yours- the doll!- with her bright eyes and curly hair but you would like someone (preferably mummy) to raise her for you. Her first words are divine but you want someone else to tutor her to preschool asap. You have till now stifled yawns gleaning over articles about parental pressure and what not but now that Tinu is 2, you cannot afford to let society sideline her. She must do a dance number in the New Year program. Or wield the fairy’s wand in the fancy dress competition. Phew! 4 hours spent sticking the damn silver foil on the stick while Tinu in diapers is busy applying toothpaste all over herself, blissfully unaware of her filial duties! Drop her at the summer camp, it will build her character. No way, she can barely take care of herself, I am her father and I do not want all this new-fangled nonsense in my home. Safety first, you hear? Hear? Nothing is heard especially not the voice of the spouse or that of reason.

And thus the endless loops of the roller-coaster accelerate…expectations, competitions, comparisons, anxieties, hopes and so on till it is time to step down the roller-coaster, arthritic knees et al. Hopefully the fairy of yesteryear, fortified by her summer camp experiences and her mother’s push and father’s pull is in society’s limelight, with her degree and her worldly wisdom and a plum place(ment) where it matters. The pay packet speaks it all. For all.

You may be basking in the overseas sun, adapting to new values of new generations.  You may be wiping off a tear under your thick glasses, looking at that dog-earred photo of the chubby fairy for the hundredth time. In the solitude of the retirement home.

Call it a good roll of the dice. Call it sound investment. Call it a great learning experience which shaped YOUR character like life was one unending summer camp!

Or maybe it was an all-guzzling ordeal which drove you bankrupt-emotionally, financially.

Professional hazards, you see, of defining parenting!

But as Khalil Gibran so eloquently puts it

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

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About Meera

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Driving Around

As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!" continue reading...


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Thought for the day!

“Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first;

nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first.”


-Charles de Gaulle

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Thursday, September 18th, 2014
What's in store for you today?
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Your Fortune For Today
Thursday, September 18th, 2014

You may be having a difficult time getting your opinions across to others. For some, your ideas may seem too self-centered. For others, you may come across as insensitive to the situation. Do your best to understand what others are telling you. Don’t be surprised if you don’t receive the loving strokes that you feel you deserve. This is a day for you to observe and learn.

Social events could put you in touch with a lot of interesting people, some in fields such as law, education, or the ministry. Expect at some point to be treated to a monologue on social and ecological responsibilities. You’ll have a lot of definite ideas on those subjects, but you’ll be more likely to listen than talk for most of the day. Enjoy your day.

The greatest satisfaction today will come when using your energy to solve a complicated problem. Keeping a cool attitude and focusing on specific issues is better than being driven by strong emotions. Other people’s attitudes can seem unreasonable or unnecessary. You can keep your own agenda on the right track.

This is a positive day to take action. You may not like being told what to do. It’s possible to work successfully with irritating people. You have an opportunity to be very honest about your feelings. This can help you move on from any situation that haunts your thoughts.

You may have a difficult time today keeping your sense of balance. Part of you is very independent and part of you wants the safety and security of a predictable life. In romance, you can seem uncaring because you would rather show your love through action than through words.

Today, you might find yourself thinking longingly of exotic lands and possibly traveling to them. You could also wonder about the people who live in those countries. Romantic daydreams may distract you from your day-to-day business, so it’s important to stay focused. Read travel books, rent travel videos, and call up agencies if you’re serious about going away. In the meantime, you still have to get through each day.

Examine your emotions and trust your instincts. Unexpected forces may try to disrupt the flow of things. Keep in mind that you should have no problem keeping the situation under control as long as you stay solid and focused. The actions you take today will have long-lasting effects, so be conscious of how you use your energy. Incorporate the old as well as the new in your game plan.

This is a great day for experiments, romantic adventures, and curiosity. Read, study, and do online research to expand the range of what you know and believe is possible. Look for the big picture and let the little details slide. Plan to travel. Get out and take a walk.

While other people may be confused and distressed, you’re actually the one with all the answers. Indeed, you’re best equipped to deal with the difficult situations that are likely to arise on a day like this. You have the ability to see through thick walls that others erect as barriers. Nothing will stop your penetrating eyes from seeing someone else’s deceit.

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Who is your favourite big bang theory character?
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