Laid Off ..What do I do?

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by sanjuruby3, Feb 6, 2015.

  1. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies - I have not shared this with anyone yet but now I am breaking up. I tell everything to my parents but they are going to break if disclose them.

    I have been in IT for many years and lost many jobs before. I work very hard because of H1B issues, market slumps seen many ups and downs.

    To compete, I sit at nights, eat junk , overwork to keep up.

    Finally got into stable job and got good appreciation. But then decided to jump onto another job which everyone hated me for. I put day and night to blend in, worked weekends and I was not working bad.

    Do not know office politics, never knew..heads down worker I am. People come and say..you working on festive days also. I do or read about technologies needed for work.

    I had baby recently, big toll on my health and body as I did not take 3 months long break. But later I realized I should have gone for 6 months if allowed as my body did not recover.
    Anyways I returned to work, and was pressurized to perform for deadlines. With pressures, sleepless nights, low confidence now because of product & peers so ahead of me now, pumping schedules, ..all that ..I managed to perform.

    6 months post baby, I was told I am laid off for cost cutting(not performance). I was sad for a day but immediately bounced back.

    Baby did not give me 10 minutes to cry. I thought ..anyways I was talking to everyone, I need break for 6 mo+, bobdy not healed yet.. .But then I think of people
    former co-workers still in contact, there is going to be tongue-waggling.

    Ever since I landed in US, its been my career and its un-stability. Call it my bad luck or my skills or timings or settling in those states in US where jobs are less.


    Because of that I never spent time in outside something else, finance problems, or paper work, bills, due - dates of bills, appointments. I never paid attention to my health because I did not want to be away from work, work has to be completed. Its my mistake of course. Never took a sick day off even in pregnancy. I could not go out and make friends bcs on wk-ends I want to read or code or learn.
    So could not learn social skills.

    I had some marriage problems but was so hurt that I swore to settle my career first before babies. So she came after 10 yrs. He had done very bad to me basically he cheated.

    Now I am taking time to think. What to tell my parents? Should I take break?I still have my baby's nanny coming for sometime, which gives me some time to post or job searching.
    If I had OCI card for baby, I would have immediately gone back to India. My baby came after 10 yrs, so parents are literally dying to see her.

    Once company lost a project, dropped contractors so I lost job. Could not go to India for visa issues. told me dad and he had severe accident and ICU for weeks. I think he mind was in me and too bad I could not and visit him.

    Its been many many weeks now. And now I am losing the courage and hopes. I can not go and work in far flung places anymore with infant and broken body. so I am not even applying. I can not go back to old company where I was desired and offered raise for not to leave.

    Ladies please suggest.
     
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  2. steve

    steve Platinum IL'ite

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    Time is money. A job is not everything. If I had trusted people available to me, I will invest in them to start/manage businesses. Look around. This is the US of A. I know people who are making very good living starting with a gas station or a pizza hut or an apartment complex or a motel. Not to mention high tech companies. The interest rates are now absolutely low. Take a deep breath and evaluate what makes you tick and go forward.

    Around where I live even real estate agents make 6 figure incomes.

    IMO, getting laid off is not a bad way to start your entrepreneurial career. There is just way too much money with people now to make a decent return on investments. The traditional investment vehicles are absolute dumps. Many people will invest in businesses with reasonable risk with reasonable returns (10 to 20% (higher if higher risk)on their investment). FYI.

    Good luck!
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Is this correct - you are currently laid off, but no time pressure to find another job. No visa issues?

    If yes,
    - stop worrying about co-workers and all x,y,z people.
    - have your parents in your thoughts, but don't worry about the ICU stay, their health, and their wanting to see your baby.
    - take 2-4 weeks to just relax with the baby. let life happen to you. exercise and go about a routine, but for the most part "just be." You need some gentleness from yourself to you.
    - Your mind and heart will work like a background process and things will begin to clear up in your mind. Try to not discuss the matter with everybody or too often.

    At that point, think over:
    - go to India? Have parents over?
    - apply for job? be picky about job or take the first one?
    - how about taking a year or so's break, and then, doing something of your own?

    steve is right about this is the U.S. of A. The skills and strengths you gathered from those jobs and weekends of hardwork, can be used to help you start something that makes money, while you can dictate how much time/effort you put into it.

    Good Luck. Your spirits must be in a very battered state right now, attend to that first. Remember - 'beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself' (one of my favorite quotes from a poem).

    And - it's OK to cry, but with moderation. :)
     
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  4. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Not sure what is your current visa situation. If it is H1-B, then you may have limited time to stay. Alternatively, see if you can enroll in some program in a community or state college to switch on F1 to keep your status to stay in US.

    Beyond that, just relax and recoup. Don't worry about what happened. Things sometimes do not work out our way. I left a well settled job last year for a smaller fast growing company with a good offer. My previous company offered matching of salary and perks. Yet I left. Today, nine months later, my new company isn't going the way it was projected by wall street last year while my older company's stock went up by 50%.

    Take your time and bound with your baby. A few months later you may think of what job you like. Maybe instead of development, move to QA or support. Maybe consider moving to bay area where there are similar jobs. Or start some small business or something.
     
  5. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    First of all lay off is not end of the road. If you have experience in US. you should be able to get a job. What is your visa status now ? If you have some more time on H1b , keep focus and constantly apply for jobs . Job search is a very focused work . Keep faith and be positive .


    regarding your parents, tell them that you decided to take a break for baby and you will join back in some time.
     
  6. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    sometimes management do not take things personally; sometimes just sometimes all that is in their minds is that an able hand is back again in the market; so if you have not burnt any bridges there, rethink to reapply.
     
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  7. minjagan

    minjagan Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Relax first.... This is not the end....As everyone said, you have experience and you ll v well get a job soon....
    My fav quote is "Love your job but don't love the company, because you may not know when your company stops loving you"
    So please keep in mind, first and foremost is your personal life...health is more important...
    If u take leave one day in ur office, it is not like all the things ll stop....anyways the other person ll take up and do it...
    you need to start your new life with ur LO as he/she would have needed you the most and still they ll be carving for mother's love...So please take a break and relax with ur LO..
    I will definitely tell you that it will be more precious time in your whole life, the time which you are going to spend with your LO.
    Happy days are near...
     
  8. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi girls

    Thanks for all your kind words.

    I do not have H1B issues so need not to worry about that atleast. Well I have seen those days also.
    What I think even If I get job sooner or later after break, this might happen again. This US or A , everything happens here. I wanted my baby to be proud of myself in her school :-(:)-(.

    After gone through so many things, I think to go to India open business there.But I do not possess any other skills. I am no street smart person. I do like coding and development and technology but can not think of opening tech company and hire H1Bs
    on less pay. I do not want to do things I went through.

    I am no leader. I can not control people and get them to work. I can not push people which is one reason for my continuous failures in life.

    I tell A is right way to do thing, other says B, but if other person is very senior/old/skillful to me, I give benefit to that and follow B-method. Also thinking it is not matter to make things aggressive. Colleagues think I am weak. Can not fight for my right.. probably Yes.
    Opening business in India, oh.. I could not get my maid to work. There is no accountability in India. Outside family, people do not respect or care,specially with women boss.

    I do want to take a break and work on my health,body and baby. If do not care about friends,former colleagues ,x,y,z people still after break its so difficult to get back in job industry.

    Interviewers ask when did you last time code ..this that. There are numerous reasons to reject a person in interview.

    Someone here said "battered" . I try to put up a strong front. I smile and wish and talk casually in office. Told I am moving on. Busy at home with baby. In past experiences, I have spent months crying, cursing..and what not. This time baby helped me get through everything smoothly. But in my dreams, I see all other bad things in past happened including this.. and it keeps on revolving. ..just does not stop.


    Based on my personality what kind of business do you think I can run? Can someone give me some ideas? FYI My husband is no different person.
     
  9. KavithaUS

    KavithaUS Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sanju,

    Consider this time as unpaid long term leave. Spend time with baby, work on your health, pick up your long desired hobby, complete unfinished book series, enroll yourself in a short course...sky is limit.
    Your baby will be proud of you regardless of your paid job or not.

    As far as landing up jobs, your are in Boston suburbs which has plenty of jobs and you are lucky with no visa restrictions.
    You sound like very straight forward,simple employee with accountability who does not gets involved in politics/gossips. Look that as your positive trait and work on your confidence or soft skills.

    I saw your other thread...keep parents and sibling away for time being..maintain cordial relation though, you don't owe them. This is time for you, baby and DH.

    My best wishes to you.

    Thanks,
    Kavitha
     
  10. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Going back to your last company where they still want you is best option for you.
     

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