Away from domestic responsibilities I feel like going away to a place where I can pursue my dreams, think big, think clear and stand up on my own. Marriage, kids,family, responsibilities are pulling me from taking even a small step. Some women are lucky to have supporting parents and inlaws who come from India for 6 months each. I do not have any such support. Whatever small step I decide to take, its on my own to face all the consequences - not to forget - doing the daily household chores. I have the capability to take up a full time job - but where to leave the kids? Hubby may not be willing to shell out for day care. Its like egg first or chicken first situation ? How can I earn if I dont take up a job. So Im looking for part time options but its not easy especially when no work experience in US. I feel sad when my contemporaries are in high positions and Im still trying for entry level part time and nowhere to go. I feel like discussing with someone close about my inner fears but do not have anyone. Im faking a brave face with strong willpower. I have dreams but not the moral support. I feel like leaving everything and just chase my dreams - unfulfilled ambitions. Some friends say this is all fate. Wakt se pehle aur kismat se jyaada kabhi kisiko kuch nahi milta. My heart is still not willing to accept this as fate and want to try. Just a vent.
I will tell you something from my own life: My college was interrupted and I went back at the age of 30. I was really short of money and I was driving 100 miles per day, working two part time jobs, and taking a full load in my major. At least once a week I was crying my eyes out that this was so hard, how am I going to do this? Then one day I was just sick of myself and my wimpy-ness. I just vowed to myself I would finish my degree or die (and I mean literally die) in the attempt. But you know, once I made that commitment to myself, all the barriers fell away. Just a thought.
I can understand the occasional urge to be on your own; to be who you want to be. Once in a while I wonder what it would be like to be free of all the obligations tugging at my sleeves all day long. To be able to focus on what I want, no kids, no husband, no house to keep and no meals to serve. But that's not going to happen, is it? So we make the best of what we have, within the time and resources that we've got. First, is your husband aware of your desire to work? If he is supportive, then at a minimum, he might be willing to watch the kids while you attend interviews or make phone calls. Enlist his help while you search for work. If you need time to prepare for an interview, then start behaving like a woman with a job. Wake up early, get the household chores done before your husband leaves for work, and then devote 9am-5pm to preparing for and finding a job. You will still have to attend to the kids' needs but having everything else done should leave enough hours to make satisfactory progress. After your husband returns, take a half hour to yourself and use it to run, walk, do yoga or anything else that gets you moving. Eat an early dinner and put the kids to bed by 8:00pm. That's what working women do. Use the last hours of the evening to focus on your goals, and make plans for the next day. Don't tell me that your kids take up your entire day. I did a PhD while caring for an infant by myself, no mom, no MIL and no husband to help. My DH was working in another state. Quitting my studies was not an option so I found a way to make it work. Big things don't happen overnight. Consistent effort, no matter how small, will add up to big accomplishments in the long run. Don't just dream of a career. Do something small everyday, even it is just opening up your resume and filling in a few sentences. Don't let even one day pass without taking one tiny step towards your future goals. Focus on the process, your everyday progress, and don't worry about the outcome. Success will come on its own. Start now, or six months down the line you will look back and wish you had started today. Don't be a fatalist. Waqt aur kismat, dono hamare hi hath mein hote hain. Baki sirf bahane hain. Your mind is a powerful thing. You need to believe that you can do it. If you make excuses for yourself, there will always be a new one stopping you from trying. If you want it badly enough, you will find a way to make it happen.
Dear OP, I was in your boat every year...if there is no one to help, we need to help ourselves, if sending kids to daycare for longer hours is not supportive for your financial conditions, send them for few hours and dedicate those to fetch a job, if you are confident to get a full time job, its worth to give it a try.. Dont leave your previous efforts to air and compromise yourself as fate from others words, if we have scope and capability, we should change the fate. Dont loose heart/confidence/effort, if there are no one to give emotional support, tell yourself that i can do this, your success will make them to support you in no time... Good luck
Don't lose hopes, if you search I think there are lot of part time jobs available in US and then you can check on it accordingly. It is you who have to move 1st step and then rest all things will fall in place. But step 1 is important hunting the options available near by you. Then if you have work from home option, then it will be very good bcos you can take care of your kid and also fulfill your ambition. Think about it but do not think much bcos it causes stress.. all the best.
The solution is easy, there is no chicken or egg situation. Don't think I am trying to oversimplifying it but I really mean if you dread a task you would find it more and more daunting. Simplify it and it would be in your grasp. And BTW from personal experience never rely on anybody's help like in-laws or husband because they could try to exploit your dependence one day (happened to me). Start your resume and apply for jobs. You can do this at end of day after kids are in bed or at their nap time or whenever you are free. Do not look for daycare yet. When you get an interview ask your husband to take the day off or make alternate arrangements so that kids can be taken care of. After you get a job offer, you could ask them to have the joining date after 15 days or so(this is very normal). Find day care, enlist your kids and get them used to daycare. Start on your job. You think its complicated because you are over-thinking it. Start walking and you would find the path.
Hi friends, Im so glad to tell all my friends who helped me here that I got a part time job and Im really enjoying it !! As Gauri said, I did not want to accept my failure as my fate and I tried my best. Tashidelek thanks for sharing your experience. I will remember you as one of the hard working women and inspiration. As sravanitenali said if there is no one to help us then we have to help ourselves. Thats what I did. I agree with Jigs that taking a first step is very important. I was simply thinking of too many consequences without even taking the first vital step. As beanstalk said I decided to try to simplify my problems (and fears) and infact it helped me to look at my issue from a different perspective altogether. Im thankful to all those from the bottom of my heart who helped me in this thread. I kept referring to this thread whenever I got demotivated and it helped me a great deal to revive back. I will soon come back and share my work experience !!
That's awesome.. I am so proud of you. You knew what you wanted and you went and got it!!! I am very happy for you.
