How do I learn to respect myself? working women answer plz..

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by anika987, Aug 13, 2014.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I have a wonderful dh,beautiful child,decent inlaws(actually they are not too bad)amazing home,good neighborhood, vacations so exotic and good health.

    Still I feel a void.I feel so unhappy these days.Reading so many blogs about working and stay at home moms,relatives feeling people at home are worthless etc makes me feel so bad.So much of fights in the blogs about the above is
    enough to make me lose sleep.

    People say outside validation should not be important but I cannot help but get hurt when I am told worthless.

    how do i not worry and start respecting myself?I thought I was content being at home.I agree to the fact that women who work outside of home maybe needing financial security,career oriented so many reasons.It is not easy to work outside.I am happy with my balanced life but somehow I feel low.

    Dh says I am reading too much of blogs and each one is writing from their own experience and to take things with a pinch of salt.Hmm..I know but I regret the fact that I was an average student in school and college and feel
    very inferior to a working woman.Dh says I need to get out of this feeling as it is spoiling my health and family is also getting affected to see me unhappy.

    How do I recover from this?should i start seeking a job?will i get one after many years and will that give me contentment and respect? Did u get everything u need
    as a working women? Are you confident coz you are working outside or do u think u can still be confident being at home?
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    ur dh is right.

    u r thinking a lot OP.no worries dear.keep doing wat u want,work if u want else it is no probs.just educate yourself and keep in touch with the current world and be happy.
     
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  3. NellaiMurugan

    NellaiMurugan Silver IL'ite

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    True. What you read in Internet is a one sided version of the story.



    If you feel , women sitting full time at home as mothers and home makers are worthless, that is the most unfair and incorrect statement in this world.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Sorry Nellai,I am not feeling but made to feel that way subconsciously as people keep telling something or other about SAHM:(

    I know it is not at all right and I want to change myself.Hence,I am seeking help.
     
  5. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    You are simply creating problems because you have none. My suggestion is to learn to thank God and your destiny for giving you so much happiness instead of finding things to unhappy about.

    You can also volunteer at women's shelter or foster a child or an animal or work with under-privileged kids and see the struggles so many go through just for basics in life. It may give you a fresh perspective on life and help you learn to appreciate what you have.

    Working or not it up to you. But I can confidently say that no one can give you self-worth, respect or contentment unless you find it in yourself. Learn to look within for happiness and contentment.
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    thank u sdiva:)

    very nice answer
     
  7. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Anika,

    I'll also advise you not to read these blogs if it affect you. I am giving you my example not for job but ILs issue. Honestly I do not have any major issue with ILs (my FIL supports me a lot, have wonderful SILs and MIL is also not that bad) but when I started reading posts about ILs issue here, I got lot of negative thoughts about them . Even once I told my DH, your mother did this, she said this during marriage etc.lot's of negativity, all things which I ignored for last 6 years. After some time I realized, this is because I read negative threads and I stopped it. One of my friend always says- if you are reading, hearing seeing negative you will start thinking negative. So it's better be positive.
     
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  8. Durga18

    Durga18 Silver IL'ite

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    I understand we SAHMs feel bored and depressed at times because of the routine and doing almost same kind of work everyday. That makes us feel low of ourselves. I suggest you to do something new other than household chores and taking care of kids. Try learning a art, join in yoga or swimming classes, learn stitching , learn painting, start writing a blog etc., and the list goes on. Or you can try to make some crafts out of recycled materials without spending money. That really makes you confident and keeps busy and keeps you away from unnecessary negative thoughts. Only when you feel confident, you can respect yourself. Good that you have a supportive husband and good in-laws. Feel happy for it. All the best.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2014
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  9. breeze01

    breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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    No wonder why I stop reading in married life forum....don't check all this but make sure you check food,hobbies forum....you will feel so good...
     
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  10. breeze01

    breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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    I wish I can stay home with my son, but financial wise I cant,you are so lucky to be at home with family...but at time sham feels boring cooking,cleaning everyday for a week stop cooking much..try out other things..outside food one day.sandwich other day.soup other day like that something variety....If y I feeling so bad that you staying home try to do volunteer work,if you want some more pocket money try for part time job just for a change
     
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