How to stop a female colleague from harassing me.

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Kusumlata, Jun 11, 2014.

  1. Kusumlata

    Kusumlata New IL'ite

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    I work in a govet school under delhi administration as a hindi teacher.


    there is one colleague who passes personal comments on my dresses that they are too fashionable for a teacher to wear(i wear salwar suits),on my jewellery on my kajal,on me applying nailpolish,etc.many teachers in my school come daily in anarkalis,jeans with kurti,high heels,open hair,long earrings,etc etc.but she never criticises them becoz they are her frenz.


    she also interferes and tries to put my views down when i'm having a conversation with any teacher even though it's none of her business.


    after school,we use the same cab to reach our homes.


    its too hot in delhi summers.she always occupies the front seat (which is comfortable)so that i cant sit there by reaching slightly before school bell rings.i have a health issue becoz of which i need to sit at the front seat so that i can stretch my legs.talking to the driver doesnt help since he too fears her.




    likewise there are many more incidents where she does or says things that trouble me or defame me.but she does them so subtly that nobody knows.
    for example once i was wearing a neon shade salwar suit.


    on the same day in our cab she said that she hates neon colours because they irritate her eyes.on questioning her,she fought that she was talking generally.
    i am facing deep anxiety due to her bullying behavior.
    i have tried to reason with her many times but she's too quarrelsome.
    i tell principal but she does not take my complaint seriously and tells me to take a transfer.
    now what am i to do?please dont suggest me a transfer.

    PS-I have always been a timid person and therefore faced lots of bullying in my life.I really dont know how to reply back coz of which people take advantage.If i try to protest,others join them. no one supports a simple girl like me.
    So please suggets me something because i have lost all my confidence because of my inability to take action or to answer back boldly.
     
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  2. ammulur

    ammulur Platinum IL'ite

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    Women's enemy is a Women. Don't take her comments too seriously, she is knowingly or she is trying to defame you. Try to avoid her as much as possible.... few women's are like this, they will not be happy and they doesn't want others to be happy....! Don't share any person matters with her i don't think she is a safe colleague.. she might spread the news too........!
     
  3. Kusumlata

    Kusumlata New IL'ite

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    hello dear,

    thanks

    i have already been ignoring her for 3 years,but her bad behaviors which i mentioned above still continue.

    obviously i dint share any secrets with her because she's never behaved well.
     
  4. aabcii

    aabcii Gold IL'ite

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    never ever share any professsional details with friends inside office
     
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  5. larapowell

    larapowell Bronze IL'ite

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    Just ignore and behave as if she never existed. When you see her, keep walking as if there is nobody. When you are talking to somebody, keep talking as if you see nobody. The fact that she realizes that her bullying affects you is what encourages her.
     
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  6. Anvitha

    Anvitha Moderator Staff Member Gold IL'ite

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    its soo true.if not immediately it might come back in wrng way or some one might might use for politics .

    I learned this by self experience as i dont have IL at that time :)
     
  7. darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    She is seeing you as a threat from either of the following two contexts :

    1) Physically you may be looking more beautiful , that she is finding herself much inferior to you

    2) Professionally, you may be in a better advantage than her, due to your qualification or competence over a particular skill, which she does not have.

    she will never behave with you nicely, as long as she sees you as a threat ! Nothing you do will change her.
     
  8. dips12

    dips12 New IL'ite

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    whenever she comments on something, think "oh she is such a big fool". remove ur frustration in form of a big smile . this might or might not effect her, but ull feel better.
    i no this might be difficult for you, but if u just once give it back to her, she ll stop messing wit u. but u gotta b careful wit ur words..

    above all.. Never ever doubt yourself.. wat something thinks or talks about you is none of your business. just be wat you want & love yourself.
     

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