How do working moms in USA manage without maids??

Hi all working moms,

First of all accept my good wishes about your work-home balance and im looking forward for some tips from you.
Im planning to restart my career after a gap of 8 yrs not with an intention to earn money but to refresh myself.
With 2 kids how do you manage the house/work.....please share your ideas wrt cooking,cleaning,laundry etc. Its still a mystery to me how moms over in USA manage w/o maids....is it possible??

Plss plss share your inputs...

Originally Posted by happywoman

Hi all working moms,

First of all accept my good wishes about your work-home balance and im looking forward for some tips from you.
Im planning to restart my career after a gap of 8 yrs not with an intention to earn money but to refresh myself.
With 2 kids how do you manage the house/work.....please share your ideas wrt cooking,cleaning,laundry etc. Its still a mystery to me how moms over in USA manage w/o maids....is it possible??

Plss plss share your inputs...

First of all congratulations for your new job .I am also a working mom ,thankfully my husband helps me a lot .he will always do the dishes and post cooking cleaning .O ver the years I have realised few things which has helped me a lot .
1^ST never make food the most important thing in life .i don’t cook every day there are days I eat out in office there are days when we eat left overs .For me my most priority is to give time to my kids sit with them help them with their homeworks etc .they shouldn’t feel neglected because of my kitchen .
2^nd I dont over push my self physically on week days but on weekends I take time to do cleaning and laundry .
3^rd I was a perfectionist but being one was actually taking toll on my life I would clean clean and clean and cook and be so tired that it reflected on my face .
now I don’t want my house to be sparkling clean I clean but only to a limit ,rest is for weekend .life is good
4^th Most important give your self treats life massage facials ,shopping time atleast once a month .it will charge ur battries .and whenever you feel that life is so hectic just go and kiss you hubby and kids ,this is the secret pill which will change your life in a moment .

Hi Mahika,

Thanks so much for your reply. I like the priorities in your reply and surely shall keep in mind.
I feel giving some time for ourselves will make the people dependent on us do their work on their own. I havent started working yet, but looking fwd to once in land in US. Its kind of getting hectic for me to manage the kids entire day and getting worn out at the end of the day and ultimately no recognition for the job done.
Can you also briefly, if you have time to reply, tell me the schedule you follow in a day....like what time u get up, easy b/fast items, the laundry schedule, kids homework etc so that i can get some pointers which will be helpful for me in future.

These is very nice tips

Dear Happywoman,

Its not easy, but its definitely doable.
Mahika has laid down some very good points. Whenever you have multiple things to do, the way to accomplish them is prioritizing based on importance and required time/date of completion.

The workplace culture in the US understands and allows for the flexible schedule of working moms. Family is a very important unit in the US and any manager in the US understands that both women and men who have children might have to leave a little early or come in a little late. If a manager gives you a hard time about this, you can sue the company for Millions of Dollars. The HR lawyers in any big company are always afraid of this and will always encourage working parents to be flexible with their times as long as they get their job done.

Also, when you start working you will see that all the women who work in your company have children and have the same challenges as you will. So that automatically forms a support group where you talk about home and kids and how you manage that with work.

The biggest help is the husband. He has to pick up house duties like maybe loading the dishwasher, vacuuming the house, getting the kids ready in the morning etc etc. Also if the kids are old enough they can help out with simple household chores. All American children do this. It is a good way for them to learn responsibility and learn from a young age that a little hard work gets rewarded in a big way.

It definitely has to be a team effort. Thats what being a family is all about.

Best of luck

Mahika, I like and share your attitude. We recently bought our own home and I also work full time and have a toddler. I quickly realised that it was just not going to be possible for me to handle all these things and keep my house spotlessly clean. I do however have a maid that comes in once every two weeks to make sure that everything gets wiped down but my husband helps and we try to put things away by the end of the day.

Hi Happywoman,

Its a very good question. I've wondered about that myself when I started working in US. But it has been 5 years now and I've had 2 kids in these 5 years and beleive me things were so crazzy around the house until I got adjusted.

Mahika has pointed out the key factors. Here are some add-ons:

As far as household chores are concerned,

1. Husband is the key factor. In india doing things around the house, I mean household chores is optional for guys. But here, its not an option anymore. They have to help, otherwise it literally impossible for the house to function properly particularly with school-going kids.
2. Try to break up things and keep attending to them on a small-scale rather than piling up the whole thing thinking u'll get to it later. Its very difficult to get yourself to do it at that point. Eg., laundry. Try to fold or hang the clothes as soon as they are out of the dryer on each load rather than piling up all the clothes from each load thinking you'll do everything together. It only puts more stress on you.
3. Get your kids also involved in house-hold things. I've seen all my friends do that and that really works. Basically take all the help you can get.

As far as cooking is concerned,

1. I cook like 2/3 subjis on Sunday so that I can manage with those until wednesday. Around mid-week I try to cook again. Some people even cook for the whole week and freeze it and take it out when needed, reheat it and have it.
2. Come up with a lot of healthy quick fix meals which does not take a lot of time to prepare. U can browse the net for such recipes. There are a lot of indian food bloggers who have posted such recipes. Keep the time-consuming recipes for the weekend.
3. For breakfast, try to stick to the ones that needs no or very-less cooking like cereals, Toast & juice etc. You can also make it healthy by adding some fruits.

Hope this helps.

All the best with your career and family.

hi friends,
Its been a while that i checked this section. Thanks to everone who have come up with wonderful suggestions.I shall try my best to keep myself stress-free and strike a work-home balance.

It is certainly tough but not impossible, I work FT and have 2 kids. I have to go to work for my job (I am not in the It field). I certainly can work from home but it has not yet become popular with Chemical companies.
Trick is to
- get the guys to help with the chores
- I cook a couple of different things in small portions over the weekend and so for dinners we heat and eat
- plan balanced meals and if possible pack all lunches over the weekend
- dont be obsessed over the tidiness of the house or if possible hire a maid

Wish you luck, I am sure you will be able to fins a balance.
Sumita

Just wanted to give another perspective to your question - I am a working FT mom with a 3 year old son who is what I call "high mainenance (needs to be coddled and lavished a lot of time and attention) and a second one on the way. Here are my priorities:

1. Cooking dinner, and cooking 3 meals on weekends. I love home cooked, authentic South Indian vegetarian food, and that is hard to get here - most hotels and catering svcs do rotis and stuff like that. I cook every night - it may be something simple like rice, one vegetable and a curry but mostly fresh. However, we do not make breakfast or lunch on weekdays. My son eats at his preschool. I and my husband eat at the work cafeteria. Some days I take leftovers for lunch, but not too disciplined. I do use some short cuts like having cooked toor daal in the fridge so that I can make sambar etc in 20 mins. I do use a mix of fresh/frozen (like okra) and canned stuff (like garbanzo/kidney beans). Weekday dinners occasionally can be Idly/Sambar/Chtney, Dosa, Adai, etc so they are not too time consuming
2. Spending time with my little one - still not potty trained, but I like to play with him, read books, take him to the library etc
3. House cleaning unfortunately falls to the bottom of the priority list. I do have a cleaner who comes ones in 3 weeks. Don't bother too much abt laundry folding - I dump everything in my spare bedroom and take and iron/steam on an ad-hoc basis- Folding clothes takes too much time and walking up/down - I live in a three level townhome! so I've decided that the best way is just to dump it, sort according to person and just close the door when someone comes

Other notes:
My husband unfortunately is not a big help and I feel like a single mom most of the time, but he is in a high level job with a lot of responsibility and critical meetings. He does all of our bill-paying and financial planning/investing and records keeping.

You may feel my priorities are all wrong, but the bottom line is do what works for you as a family.

And these can change over time. For instance, when my husband and I were both working FT and doing a graduate course (evenings - we had no kids then) our priorities were work and studies, and cooking was at the bottom!