Hi friends, Today i want to share with you my bottled up feelings of what i feel abt a working woman. As a teenager, i always dreamt of having a job one day. I used to get fascinated when girls added their qualification after their name in wedding cards, name boards etc. Reading abt successful women was one of the pastimes i had. Reading economic times and other finance related journals and updating myself on my core subject was a routine for me. Getting into B-schools was like a big dream. I also had a secret wish of becoming a CEO of a financial firm and owning a big house with my hard earned money. Since i also love teaching, i used to think of giving lectures of financial management and other commerce subjects as a part time job. I had also assisted my commerce professor back in college in writing a text book. It was such a great experience. Hard work, hard work and hard work was the only thing on my daily routine and i could never ever think of anything. Being a girl, i never showed any interest in cooking or cleaning (which my mom used to insist) I could not make my own meal but used to manage with noodles or some instant food. I never wanted to waste my time on such activities, instead used to rush to the local library and read some books. All my dreams shattered when i got married and landed in US on H4. When hubby's career was the first priorit, i slowly sidelined my priorities. I encouraged him to flourish in his career by taking up the whole responisibilities of the house and kids on me. Now when both my kids are ready to school and with a green card nearby, i want to start , nope, restart my career. However, i miss the pride of a working woman when i see/think of the following: Career wear in stores: I just love to get into formal pants and shirts one day and flaunt myself. The ID card: The ID card which gives an 'identity' which i miss being a homemaker. One day, i would love to see my designation on the ID card and shall wear it with my formal wear. Official gatherings: The coffee breaks, the chit-chats, chasing goals, getting ready for meetings and discussing it with colleagues etc... i miss i miss i miss ! Confidence: I miss the natural confidence of a working woman. Though im okay now as a homemaker, but sometimes in gatherings, im silent on some of the subjects bcos it is not my vicinity anymore. The paycheck: Getting a paycheck (even though peanuts) boosts up confidence. It shows the application of my skills and the monetary fulfillment of my education. Regular grooming: The usual visits to beauty parlor and spending for myself is again a 'wow' feeling for me. I miss. Destress for a while: Being away from home, i want to forget my miseries for a while and engage in a different world. I want to bring out the best in me and have the feeling of being productive at the end of the day. Friends circle: I want to hang out with friends (without kids) and have fun. The proud working parent: I want to feel that 'conquer' of managing both the house and work as well as being a successful parent. Friends, some of you out there (working women) might say that grass is greener on the other side and a working woman also has her sad tales to narrate...but being on the other side for such a long time, im now desperate to see the other side ! Girls with such wishlists SHOULD NOT think of getting married to professionals from US and settle here. It will be day-to-day hell to see your dreams being shattered which leads to many other problems like low self-esteem and other health issues. I dont mean to offend anyone here..neither the working women nor the homemakers. End of the day, one should be happy with what they do and at peace. I had my dreams suppressed for a little long now and sooner or later i want to realise them. Im made to work and will DEFINITELY do it some day ! P.S: I havent bought some of the most sought after gifts with my husband's money bcos i want to keep it as my chasing goals to buy them with my own money. I even refuse to accept them as gifts, even from my dearest hubby ! Wish me luck.:cheers
Dear, Wish you the best to achieve your goals and dreams. Couldnt you look out for job in US after getting a work permit(I am not aware of the job market there though )
Seeing your drive, it is just a matter of time before you re-establish your career. Wish you tons of luck and pride :thumbsup
I can understand the pain you are under going ..but don't make yourself low ..It is for a purpose you are not into any job now and that is "YOUR LIFE" with your dearest husband and cute kids..I know there is much beyond a happy family like self respect,self esteem,pride of being an employee..'that' personal space and feelings of being a professional etc etc. Just vent out your feelings by writing each and every feeling of yours in a dairy and read it after few days ..You will feel a lot of relief and get new energy to face the current situation.The period you are in is not the end of the world calender and there are many more years coming..enjoy the time you have now with your DH and kids.Believe me..You are really lucky to have that golden time with you..Am a working woman and sometimes feel like i should have freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee time totally to do the things that always my heart cry for...God write something good on our forehead and it will definitely happen.It is not your mistake ..Situations came like that and sure something is waiting for you.. You will definitely be at work soon..Wish you all the best dear!
hiya, I know how you feel because I feel exactly the same way. besides everythign what I love is the feeling of independence and self sustainenance. I know no matter how things go south, I would be able to take care of me and my family. I know that just because I am a girl, my parent would not be dependent on anybody else. I know I would be able to do best for my sisters. I know that I can always provide support and a fallabck for my husband. I dont think coming on H4 is such a bad thing. I finished my school and got married and came here on H4. I knew getting directly into job market was tough especially from H4. So I enrolled in Masters program and switched to student visa. Finished the school, got a degree from here, got internship experience and applied in firms. I got the offers from multiple places. Infact, I was among the first students in my batch to land a job. It was a difficulat nad very busy period for me but in the end I achieved what I set my goal to. I am also planning to go for MBA with a young kid (few months). There are ways and you just need to figure out how. I have a friend though who got married about 9 years ago and ever since planned to get back into job market but never did so. She had a god job in India which she left to join her husband here. I have always tried to encourage her but she never took any solid actions. Just saying you wnat something is not enough, you have to want enough to try everything. All I can say is if you are interested, you need to take concrete steps. there may be alot of distractions and initially putting up money up front for education and day care for kids etc., but if you are strong minded, you will easily manage it. One of my friends went back to work after having a kid once he turned 2. Her career was dormant for a couple of years and she did have to make compromise on her first job but she did kickstarted her career. Best of luck to you. I hope to hear some great news from you very soon.
Abc, a very touching post, I loved every word of it. I wish you luck and much success with your dreams.
Hi abc 004 I loved your thread.....I am in a similar situation. Can understand the pain and feelings behind each word. Because I too feel the same...All the best to u!!!!
