Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Families

Who is genuinely Happy???

1.Families with both wife and husband working in USA or India/any other country.
2.Families with wives staying at home in India/USA?other countries for various reasons.

Please note that this poll is not to highlight the frustration being faced by women with visa constraints like a H4 in USA.

It would be great if both working & non working women share the positives and negatives of their lives such as the things they are not able to do or enjoy because of their working/non working lives.

I hope both working & non working Ilites will participate in this poll and benefit.

Thanks & Regards,
ManuuRaghuu

Hi Manuu,

It is difficult to just say either 1 or 2 is better. I feel we have to discuss the reasons also behind each option.

ANyways, in my case option 2 is wworking out better since kids are a greater respoonsibility than anything else so we feel it is important to give the correct foundation for them from beginning. So i preferred to be a homemaker though educated and qualified to take up a job.
I can justify tht if we chose option 1 then kids will have to take a backseat......so im happy with the option 2.
Lets c what opthers have to say.

dear mannu

it is ok with optio 1 till we are just a couple.....after we have kids i prefer option 2 as kids need our time atleast in their first 3 or 4 years...

lov
sowmi

Hello ManuuRaghuu,

I am a working wife. No kids.
I see the following in my life regarding me holding a job:
Positives:
1.Job gives me sense of achievement. It makes me utilize my education, my parents feel happy about this.
2.Financial Independence. My hubby is very supportive n earns well . But the salary I earn gives me lots of confidence and freedom.
3.I have less time and energy to think about petty household fights and inlaws issues. Job keeps me busy or should I say it shields my mind to some extent from on-going inlaws saga in the house. I do react and feel bad if something happens in the house but when you have a tight schedule and professional deadlines , the mind gets diverted to office activities for at least a major part of the day.

Negatives:
1.Work hard at office then come back and start working again at home. No time to rest and do things at a relaxed pace.
2.Have to miss out many social events and gatherings because of time constraints. Outings are restricted to weekends. To a tired body any unplanned activity like sudden guest visits etc look like a major task to achieve.
3.Hobbies and interests take a backseat.
4.Have to make an effort to find quality time with spouse.

I should add here that we two have decided that once we have kids then I will take a career break for 2 years or so. Otherwise I cannot imagine how I will find time to take care of babies. Time will tell.

What are your views about this topic ?

Regards.

Hi happywonam,sowminivibu & oaktree,

Thanks a lot for responding to my post and poll.I appreciate it.I didnt even realize that my thread got posted yesterday when i was doing some editing...hope i havent offended anyone with my words"who is genuinely happy"...unfortunately i edited it and wrote "who do you think is more happy"... anyhow.

Sownivibu & happywoman,

I agree with you and appreciate the decisions you have taken as mothers for the well being and happiness of your kids and families....

Oaktree,

Thanks a lot for sharing both positives and negatives of your life...Personally i feel that you are trying to achieve a balance in life by thinking of decisions like taking a break when you have kids...appreciate it!

Coming to me am a full time homemaker..no kids.After marriage i moved to the USA.Before marriage worked in the field of Technical writing.Now i prefer to stay as a homemaker till i desire to be.

Positives:

1.We get to travel and stay in a different location for atleast 6months in a year as part of my husband's software consulting job.As a result am able to see and enjoy many different places,food,expanding our cirlce.

2.Spending quality time with my husband both during weekdays and weekends.

3.I need not worry about my finances as my husband is earning good and supports me well.

4.Relax ,take a nap whenever i feel tired,enjoy watching tv or browsing internet,.As cooking is one of interests i get enough time to gather recipes and try new recipes.

5.Able to spend time on fitness activities together with husband.

7. I haven't pursued hobbies like stitching/knitting so far..planning to kick off as soon as possible.

8.Able to spend quality time on Pooja and other festive rituals which gives me lot of peace and happiness.



Negatives:

1. Addicted towards internet surfing as i stay at home most of the day time.

I have some personal tips :

1.Coming to other issues like petty household fights i believe it is in our mindset, if we have a positive mindset and manage things it should really not bother you whether staying at home/working.Believe me i personally experienced this.

2.Please do not think that you are sacrificing your career because of a visa constarint like H4 but only going through a different phase in life after marriage..after all you should see and enjoy different phases of life and realize it as different roles in career.So i feel that women really need not get intimidated/frustrated by a visa constraint like a H4 unless they have a financial constraint.Afterall you will be slogging for a company for not so big amounts and miss the happiness you are having now...anyhow in future you will get a chance to work/pursue your dream careers.

I invite all Ilites to share their views on this topic.

Thanks & Regards,
ManuuRaghuu

Dear Manuu,

I prefer for the option 2 ...

I am happy being as a Home maker, as we have 3 kids and I can happily take care of my kids with out any tension ... Everyday, there is no hurry burry for cooking, cleaning, bathing or for any of my personal and house hold chores ... As, after my DD and DS go to school, I can peacefully cook and clean my house while my 2 and half yr old son keep playing ...

Being at home, makes my kids to feel comfortable, happy and care too ... Only now, at this age we can be with our kids ... also leaving them in creche in half mind makes us to worry often about kids as what they are doing ? how they are being treated ? did they ate well ? etc ... when they are infront of my eyes, I can feel that I am givng enough care for them ... When my DD & DS come back from school, I pick them up from school bus stop and we chat about what happened in school on the way back ... I feel happy and comfortable being as a homemaker ...

Hi Mannu Raghuu,

Very nice topic. ( Raghuis my dear brother's name ) I saw your reply in the other thread and from the link given there by you I came to know about this thread. I am happy to see all the posts. All the young girls answered well. I too like the same. they must first take care of their children first and then their career. If they want only career, better they postpone their marriage or kids. This is my opinion.

I ( even my husband) prefer to be at home. what ever you earn single or double , will not full fill your needs. And there is no connection with happiness and earnings. ok ya? It is self satisfaction.

We ladies are having many responsibilities. right? when you are just a daughter or wife, you can work. But when you become a mother, you are having a responsibility to bring up the child as a good son or daughter and also a good citizen. Instead if you leave them with a babysitter or crèche, you invite more problems only. One must think of their safety and habits. If you have MIL or any elders with you means no problem to take care of your children.

But now we are all living away from India and now the responsibility is increased. Because now we have to teach our culture and our family rituals to our children. So it is better to stay in home at least for few years with our children and take care of them and also enjoy the period. Then continue with the job after a break.


This is my opinion. I select option 2 dear. I am happy while I am doing my household works and happy with my only son and husband.

Hi Mannu,

You have not attached the poll in this thread. so could not vote in that.Please attach the poll so that we can vote. ok ya?

thanks in advance.

Dear Manuu

I am straight by voting for

Happiness is greater only with non-contributing wives especially in India..

I dont know whether this would be right or wrong for others, because I am giving you this poll from my life's experience..

However the non-contributing wife should be employable in the sense shuld be accomplished. Thats my opinion

thanx for the thread

luv
Lakshmi

Originally Posted by lahy15

Dear Manuu,

I prefer for the option 2 ...

I am happy being as a Home maker, as we have 3 kids and I can happily take care of my kids with out any tension ... Everyday, there is no hurry burry for cooking, cleaning, bathing or for any of my personal and house hold chores ... As, after my DD and DS go to school, I can peacefully cook and clean my house while my 2 and half yr old son keep playing ...

Being at home, makes my kids to feel comfortable, happy and care too ... Only now, at this age we can be with our kids ... also leaving them in creche in half mind makes us to worry often about kids as what they are doing ? how they are being treated ? did they ate well ? etc ... when they are infront of my eyes, I can feel that I am givng enough care for them ... When my DD & DS come back from school, I pick them up from school bus stop and we chat about what happened in school on the way back ... I feel happy and comfortable being as a homemaker ...

Dear lahy15,

Thanks a lot for responding...

I can imagine how much happy you must be with your 3 kids... ...3 is the magic number in kids that many american families have and desire to have ...back in 70's many Indian families used to have 3 right?...... even i would like to have 3... appreciate your decision of being a homemaker and spending time with your kids....Your right..you should enjoy this precious time with your kids!

Regards,
ManuuRaghuu