An Accountant And A Prostitute!

Hi Preethi,
I am fine. How are you? Heard that you had a great trip to India. Saw your pictures too. You look quite fine.

The incident happened long before Panchatantra was even conceived by Kamal and co. You see Preethi, in a movie, (or in a story I write) we can easily show a prostitute colourfully and take the story along (as they did in Panchatantra). But in real life there are so many complications and so many dimensions.

Though the incident gave me some beautiful insights into the working of a human mind, (an insight is measured by its depth and not by its sign, whether it is positive or negative) in retrospect I shudder at foolishly going along with such a group. There were several ifs and buts. What if the girl was a regular call girl without any good qualities? What if that picture was clicked and sent to my wife? Ok, my wife would not believe that, agreed. What if my parents see that picture? What if there is a police raid and those guys are arrested along with the girl and then they tell the Police that we also came along with them?

These are the practical risks.

But it is my strong view that it is not given to us to shun any person, however bad it may be.
I remember reading a fable (I think it's from Bible, not sure) A devotee of God happens to see a bad man. The bad man is very hungry. So the devotee brings him home and gives him good food. The bad man should be around 40 years.
Once he eats his food he is refreshed and starts uttering profanity and shouting at the good man. The good guy becomes restless and after a few minutes throws him out of the house.
Now God appears to him in a vision and says, "I am tolerating the person for 40 years; you could not do that for 40 minutes."
I am not saying that we should welcome bad people into our midst. Or that a man should go to prostitutes to show his concern for them. I know many writer friends who regularly visit call girls for they say that they are a perennial source of stories. I have never bought that bullshit.
But this incident just came my way.
Thanks Preethi for the comments.
regards,

Dear Sriniketan,
Thanks for the kind words. While I have all praise for that lady, I also want to caution that "Setril Senthamarai" should not become the rule. It is and has to remain only as a golden exception happening once in a way. We should not be searching the gutters for the beautiful lotus. Not only we will not find any, but also soil our hands in the process.
I dont want to go for a simple explanation that the lady was very good and only because of that she behaved in that fashion. When the incident happened we had been discussing Kannadasan for about 45 minutes. May be discussing about her interest, about the poet she liked, put her in a meditative state of goodness and as if a reflexive action she defended me. I am not very sure.
But my surprise was real. Even more real was my heartfelt gratitude when I took leave of her.
This incident is just a reminder to all of us that it is not given to us to judge our fellow humanbeings. We have to understand them, accept them and love them. That's all.
regards,

Hello Vanaja,

The incident left me dumbfounded for days on end. I never thought that the lawyer friend would stoop to that level. He told me much later that he was just playing and he never intended to really embarrass me. I was not very sure of that but let it go.

As I have replied in another post it is quite possible that by discussing Kannadasan's poetry I made her mind soft and ready to exude that kind of goodness.

Had I been morose to her, she might not have defended me.

But Vanaja, people these days long for kind words, recognition, acknowledgement and appreciation. My talking to her was equivalent my acknowledging her as a person in her own merit.

When I go for long distance drives especially in others' cars, I make it a point to go to the driver and tell him that he drove well. (of course only if he had really driven well) You should see the happiness in the driver's face. Unbelievable.

My weakness and my strength is my memory. I can never forget people, incidents, dates and numbers. Today I can tell the exact date this incident happened (I kept that information out as it might lead to someone identifying the persons involved). Having a good memory is a problem because I can't forget the hurts and insults I have had in my life.
Having a good memory helps a lot when you are a writer.
regards,

Varalotti Sir,
I am having a doubt. This doubt arouse after reading the lines of yours --'We should not be searching the gutters for the beautiful lotus. Not only we will not find any, but also soil our hands in the process'.
Does not Lotus blossom over the water( or saeru , in this case), in which case how come we soil our hands in the process of searching for it? Is it not visible? Or did I understood it in a different way?
This is just a doubt and not in an intention to criticise you.
Sriniketan

Hi Varalotti,

Yes, my trip to India was fabulous...only wished I could have stayed there for more days..45 days was not just enough for me in India..! Thanks for the comments about my photo...! I saw the photo of indusri and preethi posted by Chitra, and I was happy to see them both. Your daughter looks very cute. (Any disagreements if I say "Like Mother, Like Daughter" ???).

Yes, Varalotti, I agree with what you have to say , You had put your peaceful married life at risk, by travelling with girl like her. You were lucky that she happened to conduct herself good, if she was an oppurtunist,she could have played smart and cunning and could have encouraged a photo with you and use it for blackmailing.

Further reading your post, a tamil proverb comes to my mind. "Dushtarai Kandal thoora Vilagu", I think your lawyer friends fits best for this proverb and its good to keep away from characters like him. In fact, I can rely on the companionship of a prostitute, whom I feel is more holier than your friend, atleast the prostitute was true to her profession and herself, but your friend is totally false to your friendship and himself.

Regards,
Preethi

Dear Sriniketan,
That's a pertinent question. You see we normally think that prostitutes, pickpackets, thieves etc. are inherently bad. So in an incident like the one I told here, we find some kind of goodness, we are surprised. Incidents like these spread fast and soon the pendulum swings to the other extreme. We expect to see only good in bad people. Many Westerns and even Tamil movies eulogise a thief who robs Peter to pay Paul.
Then we forget the inherent risks of moving with people like these. The point I want to make here is that there may be lotusses growing the gutters. If we by any chance get near the gutters we can enjoy the flower. But should not go to the gutters deliberately in search of flowers. The risk is too high. The proper place to look for a lotus is a pond near the temple.

To sum up, lotus in gutters is an exception and not a rule. And as you know exception proves the rule.
regards,

Hi Preethi,
Thanks for the comments about my daughter's photo. And my wife's too. Yes they are cute. (You have seen my photo right? If not it is in Varalottis Photo thread in my forum. It is also there in Indusladies Meet in Bangalore Thread. Tell me if my daughter has taken after me or my wife)

Yes, Preethi, I did risk so many things in that trip. I would never make that kind of a trip again. As I told in the leaderpost it was foolhardiness at its peak. But in hindsight the insights I had were definitely worth the risk.

regards,

Thank you, Sir, for the your effort and time in making me understand the problem.
Sriniketan

Sorry Sridhar, I didn't mean you had expressed it wrong, it was my mind that immediately linked wife and the number beside it with age overlooking the connecting word 'of"! Hopev I didn't offend you. This whole week i have been a little busy and have not been able to reply to FBs nor post a new thread. Your experience narrated in this thread certainly gives an insight into the human side of a fallen woman. The lesson to be learnt by everybody from this is never to label or brand anybody without having had the opportunity to know about him/ her.

Originally Posted by varalotti

Dear Malathi,
I don't know what you got wrong. I did not mean to say that my wife is 23 years old. I just wanted to say that I have been married to her for 23 years. If you think that the expression I used is wrong, please correct me.
Eagerly waiting for the Full FB
Regards,

Dear Sridhar,

What can I say? You humble me very often by your loftiness! You have taken so much pains to explain your stand on every point I made. Maybe I should be more careful as to what I say in my post. I don't want you to spend your precious time worrying about the little idiosyncrasies of mine!
It is never too late to learn and I am learning everyday. I know women often go away together, but less so the men! In Germany, I know of men going away to a fishing holiday or riding holiday, always a hobby uniting them. I did think that was strange inspite of it as my hubby will not even go for shopping without me, well, almost! Besides, these days, being so much in IL, I realize that I know very little of my own country. Have learnt much here...another thanks to IL.(read Malathy and Jey!)

L, Kamla