An Accountants Tribute To A Man And His Marriage!

Dear Sastryji,

Thanks for your kind words. You have used a nice simile in describing the links I provided to my forums.

Actually I did not give that links in the email;it is not possible to do it. I gave it in my pm to you. As that is my configured signature for IL you will find it in every post of mine.

"u have not told me How to incorporate this in place of me." I dont understand this. You want your name to be NISCHEL hereafter in IL? But we do not have the facility to change the user ID in this site. One way I think (subject to approval by the Moderators) is that you create a new ID with NISCHEL, that is enter as a new member in that name. And then you can ask the moderators to delete the old identity.

regards,
sridhar

Most Gracious Ladies,

As I am about to upload the 5th episode of SHE I have to concede that your verly lively discussion on the 4th episode was even more interesting than the story which occasioned it.

I am a happy man today to see that this story forum is being turned into an active discussion board where points of view from as far as Philadelphia and Muscat, Chicago and Chennai are discussed and debated.

Now Episode 5 is more of Shalini's marriage, more of her father Shiva's unequivocal love for his own little girl. It paves the way to provide the heroine an unfettered freedom to make decisions which many women have feared to make.

Lets get on with the story. (You can click on the links in my signature to directly go to SHE 5.)

With love and affection to all,

Most Gracious ILites,

I have just now posted the translation of my 13th essay which appeared in today's Dinamalar. It is about hard work vs smart work.

Hard Work vs Smart Work - Valarppom Thannambikkai - 13

Looking forward to seeing your responses for that.

regards,

Most Gracious ILites,
We are going into the land of plastic surgery this Wednesday. Learning about rhinoplasties, lipos, augmentations and implants.
Surprised? Just visit this Wednesdays thread.

(If you see the link Cosmetic Surgery in my signature you may click that to view the thread)

regards,

Dear V,

Your story is very touching..it reminded me of my Father-in-law..He lost his wife after facing many 'ups & downs' of life together..He almost lost his will to live & followed her 2 years later.

It proves why only men were asked to follow the Chatur ashram system..while we women are conditioned to accept all of life's ups & downs. I feel men take things for granted (sorry men).

People rush to get a widower married off..has anyone thought of the same for a widow? A widow becomes a football in society's eyes-shunted frm one kid's house to another

You only have to see the movie "water" by Deepa Mehta to understand what a widow undergoes...

Cheers,
Corallux

Originally Posted by varalotti

An Accountants Tribute To A Man And His Marriage!

I am just a mofussil accountant. I am not a Park Avenue Plastic Surgeon who can boast of a client list containing the beautiful, the wealthy and the famous.


However God has given me my quota of clients who of course are neither beautiful nor famous. But some of them do have a beautiful mind and have had a beautiful life like the client I met todayl.

The incident affected me so much that I ate my lunch pretty fast to come to office early to put my feelings on record, before the next client walks in.

This man, let’s call him C, has been my client since 1991, when he moved over to Madurai from up north. I saved him a good deal of money on the capital gains tax when he sold his properties in North India. He came to live a calm life with his wife and two sons here. He was in his mid-sixties then, and so in his early eighties now.

He called me up for an appointment today. I normally do not slate any fresh appointments on a Monday morning. But then he told me matter of factly,


“Mr.Sridhar, I lost my wife a month ago. Want to discuss something. So..”

I was moved and asked him to come any time that suited him in the course of the day.

He came at his usual time – 11 AM. We finished the official business in fifteen minutes flat. Then there was an awkward silence. I told him that I was sorry to know about his wife’s death. And at this age, that would be a devastating loss.

He was moved and did not speak for a while.

“Mr.Sridhar, you should know. She was my sister’s daughter. I have been with her ever since she was born. I was a nine-year old boy when she was born. I saw her as a just born baby.


Then at the right age we got married. We had been married for 64 years. We shared a wonderful relationship all through. We raised a family. We made money, lost money, had our share of joys and sorrows. And now that lady has gone her way leaving me alone to suffer in this world.”

His voice was choked.

I did not know how to respond. He was a man who respected a professional’s time and would always come to me with a neatly typed sheet of questions to be asked. He would never talk anything outside tax, accounts and business. That he should open up like this only showed how deeply he was affected by his wife’s demise.

I wanted to say something. But I did not want to cross the line.

Then C talked about his grand daughter’s marriage. He was happy that she was married to a right man, a man who hailed from a very respectable and a highly religious family.

“My wife did not live to see the marriage of her pet grand daughter.”

He told this as if he was talking about some income tax to be paid. His eyes were glistening.

He was not very happy with his sons. He told me that his wife was vexed with them. After a while he saw the time and stood to leave.

For this man I always stand up and see him to the door. I have been doing that ever since our first meeting 16 years ago.

When we were at the door and when he looked at me before taking leave, I blurted out what I had been wanting to say for quite some time. There are times when it is okay to cross the line and reach out to the man. I thought that this was one.

“Sir, I am very sorry about your wife’s death. But in a way it is better that you survived her. For had it happened the other way round, your wife would have suffered more.”

He stopped on his tracks. He looked at me and tears started flowing out of his eyes.

“Well, Mr. Sridhar, very kind of you to have said that. That is about the only consolation I have. But damn it, I miss her. I miss her badly. So long….”

I came back to my seat. I was staring helplessly at the heap of papers sitting on my desk. Suddenly everything appeared trivial and inconsequential.


varalotti

Dear Shri...ji
VANAKKAM
Having gone through your post of the above Title,I understood that your client " c "is seemed to be more attached to his wife and children.No doubt
every one will have attach ment to his betterhalf but not so much i think.
your answer to him that "Had it been in other way gives him some solace i think.Any how since it is a real story it is really appealing.
Than Q very much
with best wishes
Sd/NISCHEL(Ayyappa sastry)

Most Gracious ILites,

"Will You Live With Me, Just For a Day?"

Shocked? Scandalised? Don't Jump to conclusions. Just read a new thread of mine bearing this name and let me know what you think about it.

Click the link in my signature 'Will You Live With Me' to reach the thread.

Regards,

Dear Varlotti,

It seems u are bent on seeing me cry today.So I am going to limit my reading of yr blogs to just one or two a day.And why finish something good very soon.At least I will have something to look forward to read every morning after a hearty breakfast.

Superb is what I can say, and one of the most moving pieces that I have been privileged to read.

What u told him is very practical, though I know it must have taken a lot courage to speak out of turn.I too may have done the same as u.


I wrote a blog last month, regarding something similar.I lites told me why have u written a dark morbid blog, far removed from the humour that u write about.But Varlotti, life is not just about laughter is it ? there are many serious matters to consider.

I wrote about me being ready for death at this age of 55, though I am hale and hearty as of now.The chances of death are 3, either wife goes first, I go first or we both go together.

We have our wills ready since many years,everything going to the partner, and all divided between my two daughters in case we go together.

And I have told my wife, she is free to marry again after me, she should know what I want wheni am alive, rather later wonder what I would think of it.

As for me, I have told her, I wont marry after her, period.Once is enough.She is a wonderful wife and human being, and I am fortunate to have her, though I cant say the same about her.I am a very difficult and rigid person to handle otherwise.She is a pure Veg, and I am a pure non veg and I have all the habits that one should not have.

Sorry this got long, so I will stop here, but I don’t know why, u seem to say what I believe in.Superb and what can I say, but thanks for making my day.

Regards.kamal

Oh my dear, dear, Kamal,
You are a very kind man. Visited this mofussil accountant's post almost after a year and had some very nice words about that.
Kamalji you will live for a hundred years and your wife will also live to be a hundred.
But like as you said an incident like this make us stop in our tracks and think about the deeper meaning of life.
You know about 30 years ago I went to a man to learn Hindi. Even now that Hindi stands me in good stead. My wife says that my Hindi is only good enough with the shopwallahs in Sarojini Market, New Delhi. I have forgotten many words I have learnt though mera hindi kaam par aatha hai.
My teacher, may be be blessed, taught me two lines of Hindi poetry, and that's my total knowledge of Hindi literature.

And here are the lines,
Chalna jeevan ki kahani
rukna mauth ki nishani

Let's not have any qualms, predictions or preparations for our death. We know Kamalji we cannot overstay our alloted time in this caravanserai called the earth even by a milli-second. Nor can we hasten our exit by a nano second.
But people like Mr.C shake us to our roots.

How am I ever going to thank you for honouring me and my thread with your visit?
love,
sridhar

Originally Posted by Kamalji

Dear Varlotti,

It seems u are bent on seeing me cry today.So I am going to limit my reading of yr blogs to just one or two a day.And why finish something good very soon.At least I will have something to look forward to read every morning after a hearty breakfast.

Superb is what I can say, and one of the most moving pieces that I have been privileged to read.

What u told him is very practical, though I know it must have taken a lot courage to speak out of turn.I too may have done the same as u.


I wrote a blog last month, regarding something similar.I lites told me why have u written a dark morbid blog, far removed from the humour that u write about.But Varlotti, life is not just about laughter is it ? there are many serious matters to consider.

I wrote about me being ready for death at this age of 55, though I am hale and hearty as of now.The chances of death are 3, either wife goes first, I go first or we both go together.

We have our wills ready since many years,everything going to the partner, and all divided between my two daughters in case we go together.

And I have told my wife, she is free to marry again after me, she should know what I want wheni am alive, rather later wonder what I would think of it.

As for me, I have told her, I wont marry after her, period.Once is enough.She is a wonderful wife and human being, and I am fortunate to have her, though I cant say the same about her.I am a very difficult and rigid person to handle otherwise.She is a pure Veg, and I am a pure non veg and I have all the habits that one should not have.

Sorry this got long, so I will stop here, but I don’t know why, u seem to say what I believe in.Superb and what can I say, but thanks for making my day.

Regards.kamal

Originally Posted by varalotti

Oh my dear, dear, Kamal,
You are a very kind man. Visited this mofussil accountant's post almost after a year and had some very nice words about that.
Kamalji you will live for a hundred years and your wife will also live to be a hundred.
But like as you said an incident like this make us stop in our tracks and think about the deeper meaning of life.
You know about 30 years ago I went to a man to learn Hindi. Even now that Hindi stands me in good stead. My wife says that my Hindi is only good enough with the shopwallahs in Sarojini Market, New Delhi. I have forgotten many words I have learnt though mera hindi kaam par aatha hai.
My teacher, may be be blessed, taught me two lines of Hindi poetry, and that's my total knowledge of Hindi literature.

And here are the lines,
Chalna jeevan ki kahani
rukna mauth ki nishani

Let's not have any qualms, predictions or preparations for our death. We know Kamalji we cannot overstay our alloted time in this caravanserai called the earth even by a milli-second. Nor can we hasten our exit by a nano second.
But people like Mr.C shake us to our roots.

How am I ever going to thank you for honouring me and my thread with your visit?
love,
sridhar

Dear Sridhar,

Somebody said " life is full of misery.If u die young, u leave others miserable, and if u live really long,u will greive over the deaths of yr loved ones [passing away right in front of yr eyes"

and what is the right time to die Sridhar ? No one klnows, but no one wants to leave the earth, till he or she is taken away.Me, well, anytine from today is fine.god has been kind all these years, when i see younger people go away, then i am very grateful to the lord.

Thanks for yr blessings, and where do u stay, in which city ?Would love to meet u Sridhar, Thanks for the kind words.kamal