Provoked By Cheeniya.....With A Lady In A Room...

Vandhana · May 8, 2007

Dear Sridhar,

That made an interesting read. And even more interesting was the skeletons coming out of the cupboard ,provoked by Vidya.

There is a saying" it takes two to tango". I think in every situation , when one ( or even both) of the two people involved is committed to staying loyal, then nothing wrong can happen!! Only our imaginations can take wild flights of fancy:mrgreen:

Vandhana

Kamla · May 8, 2007

Dear Sri Varalotti!

What a keyfull!! Do you really want to be called that from now on?

What an anti-climax! I thought the next line would be..hum tum, ik kamare mein bandh ho, aur chabi kho jaaye! Instead, Varalotti saar kho gaye, kamre se??

Hmm...I don't know what to think, you don't sound like a prude, but you do behave like one! I am trying to imagine myself in that lady's shoes, how would I react? It all depends on how well I know the man friend. I am trying to get into her psyche, because I can understand you, you feel like family But what makes this woman so cool that she doesn't mind sharing the room with you?!

But honestly, does one succumb to temptation so easily by just sharing a room with the opposite sex for a night due to some circumstance? Does one become alcoholic because one sips wine every now and then? I disagree. I think a person is stronger than that. If that is the case, we all are walking around each other in stealth with only an outward pretext of a shield. One touch, fuse gone!

I remember reading the story in Jannal, but I shall brush up the memory again I am sure the story will be appreciated by the IL'ites.

L, Kamla

varalotti · May 8, 2007

Amma Thaaye!
Only to ward off comments like this
I took pains to post that I am not exactly karpukku arasan
I am not even a karpukku sevakan
So if say" pei"
there will be famine for 12 years.
Thats why I dont take such risks.

sri varalotti

varalotti · May 8, 2007

A good point, vandhana

Dear Vandhana,

"There is a saying" it takes two to tango". I think in every situation , when one ( or even both) of the two people involved is committed to staying loyal, then nothing wrong can happen!! Only our imaginations can take wild flights of fancy"

You captured my feelings with these poignant words. While imagination ran riot, the reality was nothing but loyalty.

Since my loyalty was strong I retained my "virginity". Since my imagination ran riot I could produce some good stories from this incident. Not only the stories I mentioned, there was another story "Rayilil Vandha Mayil" in which a handsome man and a beautiful woman are forced to travel in a coupe. That was also inspired by this incident. I changed the setting and gave a different dimension to the situationl. (I think that is also in jannal, or it is in visaranai?)

But in real world, I am always afraid to put my will power to test. More on this in my reply to Kamla.
Thanks for the post,
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · May 8, 2007

Dear Kamla,
Since you have said that I am family, I dont mind whatever name you call me - sri, sridhar, varalotti, var, srivar sv, dai, fool - whatever.

What's in the name by which we call a rose a rose..

You have gone into the depths of the situation, rather deep into that ladies psyche. She might have thought that I am after all harmless.

Does one succumb to temptation because one shares the room with a member of the opposite sex? Sipping wine once in a way - does it make one an alchoholic? They wont. But there is one helluva possibility that they will.

Our senses are very powerful and I have seen many being overwhelmed by them. May be during my last birth I had fallen prey to the senses. So in this birth I am quite allergic to them. That's why I have not so far sipped wine. Nor have I ventured to stay with a woman in the same room.

The fuse may not go off in one touch. But as of now we do not fully know the mechanics of the fuse. It might go off even without touching. "balavaan indriyakraamaha" This line (so powerful are our senses) comes quite often in our Shastras.

Kamla, if you have both Jannal and Visaranai, you can read the other story as well. It is titled "Rayilil Vandha Mayil". Since I may not be able to post the story here, you may post your views on the stories in this thread itself.

Thanks for making me think again.

L,
call me by any name

Vidya24 · May 8, 2007

Dear Sridhar,

The lead piece was juicy, the responses just as provoking and saucy. But like Kamla, I wonder, what defines a person fully? As she said, a sip of wine does not make an alcoholic. I realise that within the ambit of your values, you do not want to garland any other woman (apart from Indhu), or give a ride to your sister's SiL. But isnt that all taking it too much? Will it not offend the other person also? Or am I just jaded with 'another' culture?

wondering
Vidya

varalotti · May 8, 2007

Dear Vidya,

We should all thank Cheeniya for leading us into this juicy and provoking discussion.

Let me once again clarify my stand for your benefit and for those who are anxiously following the discussion here.

The first statement is that I am not a prude, either in words, or action, or anything. I ogle at women, fantasise about beautiful women and have a collection of girlie pictures.

It is due to this fact perhaps, that I am a little inclined towards the wrong side concerning woman, I take extra precautions.

My refusing to garland a lady and take my sister's sister-in-law in my bike might sound a little exaggerated. But when I did those things I was 27, the real 27 that comes before 28. I did realise later that in both these cases I caused some hurt to the women concerned. May be if I am asked to relive the same situation I might decide differently.

But refusing to stay in the same room is something which I will adhere to even now.

Finally Vidya, a word of caution here. Sipping wine once in a may may not make a person alchoholic. But all alchoholics would surely have started from that step. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a small step. And the journey to become an alchoholic starts with a small sip.

May be as an accountant, I am a little over-cautious or conservative.
I want your views, ladies and gentlemen.

regards,
sridhar

Vidya24 · May 8, 2007

Dear Sridhar,

As this thread seems to mandate- let me begin by thanking Cheeniya for provoking this original piece.

Sridhar, we all have our own morals and values, our swadharmam. And I personally feel that we are not obliged to justify them to anyone. (I also feel that no one is entitled to judge me on my actions provided they cause no harm, but more on that later). If you do not wish to garland another lady or give a lady a lift at the real chronological 27, you are well within your rights to do so. In fact, that you may choose to act otherwise now, does not make you a better person now or a better person then.

But personally to me what is more important is not to judge another based on their words or actions. A glass of spirits, a simple casual endearment, a swooping hug or a formal kiss on the cheek as is norm in Europe or the US does not mean a woman is wanton. I do not blame the one who blames either- that is their swadharmam.

What really defines us? I have seen men reading pornography and then voluntarily trekking into the African jungles to reach safety lamps to the natives. Also have been misfortunate to see a great Harikatha exponent extolling the virtues of a particular drug in his kalakshepam, just because he happens to be the pampered guest of the MD of that company. Have you seen the movie Guide written by RKNarayanan? Who was Raju ultimately? Lover boy toy or a fasting Swami who brought rain to the dried masses and their souls??

Finally who are we mere mortals to judge and crucify? How much harm we cause with our self assumed holiness and prudery while claiming to be virtuous. How often do we pause to think how much that hurt lingers long after we spread the rumour and gallop on the gossip.

And so spins the world on its axis of morals. Mind you, the rotation is on a tilted axis-----

Manjureddy · May 9, 2007

WOW Vidya !
Lal Salaam followed by Salaams of all hues !
Your excellent mini-dissertation of the eternally mystifying enigma : "what defines us - indeed What ARE we ? - is one of the best comments I have read in recent times, within and without IL.
I'm 100% with you in the belief that we are not obliged to defend/justify our swadharma to anyone as long as no real harm is caused.

....the rotation is on a tilted axis ...how true ! oh, how tormentingly true !

A deep bow to your perspicuous and determinative style of narration.

" more of that later, " you've promised. Looking foreward to the pleasure of reading more on such lines from you.

admiringly
manjula

Manjureddy · May 9, 2007

Dear Sridhar
just to share an anecdote, once reported in a filmy rag.

Actor Mammooty has this image of a "super decent guy" who will not roll down the grass with the heroine or even do the tree-pradakshinam, holding hands. In some Malayalam film, I believe his girl was a new young actress , an acknowledged kollywood dream girl of the time ( this was quite a few years ago, forget who she was) During a duet shoot, our Mr.Decent keeps refusing to do this, do that, wont hug, wont touch etc etc. And after a point, the girl explodes :" Whats the fuddy-duddy trying to suggest ? I have no communicable disease ! "

manjula