Does This Ring A Warning Bell Somewhere?

Dear Usha,

In the video it was Chin alone who lost his expression. In real life Mrs.Chins are also losing their expressions, their leisure, their happiness... all for what?

This kind of hard work would result in a condition where the individual would be incapable of exhibiting any emotions. I have seen some bank executives who put in some 18 hours of work especially during the audit season, completely losing all their sensibilities. They have the standard packaged smile for an irate customer who uses obscene words to shout at them and a mild customer who has come to thank them.

Where are we heading for? Does a posh living space, a big car and a home full of gadgets alone make a good life? When are we going to start thinking?

regards,
Varalotti

A very good clip and a timely reminder as we have a lot of young IT wives amidst us in IL.
Sudha is right when she says whom do we tell! Men too should see this clip. Having said that, today's women are no different either, they too are working and are workaholics. It is the human's nature, wanting more and more and to have to keep up with the Jones's.
Like you say Sridhar, to have a house in the suburbs with two car garage is the standard minumum of the average IT man in US. Add to it the other fringes and the education of the kids, you have a plan laid out and that sort of money does not come easy. People here don't seem to have the time only because their work schedules and their weekends are chockablock full with everything they have to do which may not be strictly work. I was amazed to find that my friends in US had not visited each other's houses, their only meeting place being some common get-together or celebration. They do not have that sort of time! Those who opt out of this circus becomes an outsider and may even be ridiculed as the one who did not 'make it' or even as a failure!
Besides, companies today demand 'all' of their employees and I have often wondered with sadness as to how this will colour the future society as the children do not know parents who are not under time constraint.
I don't see this problem being solved. I can only see that people are somehow going to adopt to this change and we will all very soon witnesss (maybe we already are) a changed society and life styles.

L, Kamla

Thanks for the thoughtful response, Kamla. I have been involved with recruitment in a small way. When I see some children from lower-middle class and middle-class families getting chosen for plum jobs in the IT and ITES industry, I used to wonder, what is the motivating factor.

Invariably it is the parents' care, especially that of the mother in bringing up the children. It was because the last generation mothers were devoted and dedicated to a full-time child-rearing that we have this generations whiz-kids raking their millions in the IT industry. But will the mothers of this generation be also proud of their children in the same way? I doubt.

Financial success is embedded in our psyches and deeply ingrained in our beings. For when we hear that somebody's in the IT industry (especially when we seek alliance for our daughters) the next question is what is his CTC? (salary).

Has any girl's father asked about the guy's working hours? His holidays and all? No.

And as parents we are more more worried about our child's success than his or her happiness.

And in their frenzied working they might not even hear what we say.

Though workaholism affects both the sexes, men are more severly afflicted with this disease than women. And that's because men measure themselves with their income, their wealth and their possessions.

It is nice to have an one acre house in the suburb. But what's the big fun if your work does not allow to stay in that house in your waking hours.

Seeing the response I have got for this thread my Saturday's posting also will be on the same subject.

Thanks for the participation. I appreciate your concern.
regards,
sridhar

Dear Sir,

I knew a Female cook who has been working (cooking for office goers, functions etc.) hard day and night for her family. Though her husband is also a cook, he doesnt work much.

Seeing the clip - I wonder how this Chin manage to get time to sit infront of his wife. Anyway a good subject and also an eye-opener. Thanks for the post.

Vanaja

Yes Sridhar sir it surely hurts..I agree. Like Chitra madam, my hubby is a workaholic....he is not interested in taking part in our daughter's activities. I keep asking him that he has his TV as his wife and laptop as his kid...why did he need a real wife and a kid then...is it just to show off in the society? I have always tried to remind him but in vain:( I feel this is not the case only with my hubby.....but with all young people in IT industry (mostly males).

Looking around my male colleagues here, I have started to realise that its true with every one of them not only my hubby. I get emails from my male colleagues about releases, deadlines and meeting schedules for the next day at around 2-2:30pm in the night. Why can't they send the same email during normal working hours...I have seen them loitering around and wasting time in unwanted meetings and then the end result is, they have to carry the work home. I wonder don't they sleep at all? What are they achieving by doing such things...sending emails so late in the night and proving to your bosses that you are working so "hard".

I have read some articles in newspapers recently about young IT people getting into extra marital affairs at work easily...because they spend more time at work and so get to know their counterparts at work more and understand them more and not their spouses. The emotional support and backup that a spouse provides, we IT people look for that at work place with friends and colleagues, and I am 100% sure that this is already happening! which is the most scariest part in our society!!!

I have so many friends of my age in 30's who have problems conceiving, whose husbands have undergone Heartattacks, brain haemorrhage and even one of my close friends hubby passed away last year due to lung cancer. He never smoked in his entire life nor his close relatives had the disease...how he got lung cancer is a major mystery even till date! These diseases used to pop up at around 40-50 yrs in our parents era.....and now along with the other luxuries we are getting these diseases very soon too......around 30-35yrs.

Like Sridhar said "who will bell the cat"?......I am not able to explain it to my own hubby...being married for 5 .5 yrs now...he is still the same as he was the day I married him...having a wife and daughter could not change his workaholism. I try to tell him that I too work in the same industry as him and I have a laptop and "work from home" option too. But, I always try to keep it away when at home. My work timings end as soon as I see my daughter's face.....no more calls, no emails after that. I think each one of us have to wake up to the fact and make a conscious effort and clearly draw a line...only then the problem might get solved.

Regards,
Sihi

Dear ILites,

We have been discussing with concern about the ever-increasing workaholism. The one question we repeatedly asked ourselves was ,Who will bell the cat?
Well, the process has now started and a visit to the latest Saturday thread will show where we stand on this.

Sihi, let's carry forward the discussion to the Saturday thread.

Varalotti

Dear Mr. Shridar,
Today is the first time I started going through your posts, articles and stories in IL and this is the first thread I started to read. I was shocked when I saw the clipping and immediatly reminded Thank God I didnt have a Dad like that. His keeps reminding all his workalhocolic friends and to a large extent even my husband at the beginning years of our marriage life, "Leave your official face outside your house along with your chappals or shoes even though you have carried it all the way home. If you are a manager you are one only in office and not outside the premises though you may carry it in your visiting card. He took VRS from Income Tax Service and continues to work with a software company as Manager-Quality Control and Information Security and I still find the same attitude with him even today.

It is by Gods grace, my husband too changed his ways and he now spends a lot of quality time with our kids. But it is a must for all men to see it and understand it with their full heart and mind.

Dear Mrs. Rajmiarun,

Though I have seen you being active in quite a lot of other forums in IL, I never saw you in these forums. I am very happy to welcome you here. Your words of praise, of encouragement, and also those of criticism will help me hone my writing skills.

You are really blessed to have such a father. And a greater blessing to have a husband who is not workaholic. Workaholism is as bad a disease as alchoholism. At least for the latter we have a lot of rehabs. For the former, almost none.

Thank you for the participation. Wish you all the best.
regards,
sridhar

hi sir...
i tried to watch the video that you had posted.
unfortunately my player can't play it.
is there any other format available for the video?

thanks in advance sir


regards

hi maya,
actually the file is in zipped format. You should have winzip programme to unzip the file. Then you can play the video with Windows Media player.
regards,