Does Marriage Satisfy Our Emotional Needs? - A Happy Example!

Dear Kamla,

You write very well and you write from your heart. Especially this passage moved me to tears and made my post appear rather superficial.

"Chained to their heartless spouses, bound to their children and religion, constrained by financial difficulties...it is for those my heart aches and I cry out. Where is romance, even remotely, in their lives? Where then is God? I am sure that even those wives and women want to sing...where is their song?"

Priya was a happy example. And as you said she was blessed. All agreed. But I find many women blindly, attached to their abusive, cruel spouses, though they could have walked out. But for a woman walking out is not a snap decision. She can divorce her husband, but not her children. Custody fights are there.

In the depths of such despair when those women cry out for help our minds are filled up with impotent anger, a rage which cannot be focussed on anybody. And it is the stories of these women which shake the very foundation of marriage.

My cousin's husband was openly cheating on her. When they came for my marriage, I saw her husband coming in with another lady almost hand in hand. 'I am just helping my colleague with her shopping' was his lame excuse. But he went out with her and did not come home for two days. My cousin ever since that day (when she was only 30) is virtually living alone. Though she has a son who has done well in life, there is a longing, a feeling of being defeated in her face which I could not bear to see. When I met her recently it was very difficult for me to look at her face and talk. The sorrow had permanently lodged in her face.

But she only curses her fate and is so blindly devoted to God who did not give her a life she can talk about. And for me the life she has lived so far is a penance much more sacred than a thousand years of penance done in some Himalayan forests.

I thought I gave a happy post; but now I am not happy.
sridhar

Dear Sridhar and Sudha,

That was very kind and generous of you both to praise my post and writing. Believe me, I could not have written all that without the provocation of your posts. This is a total inter-action community and is giving me encouragement to pen my thoughts.
Sridhar, I must give you a special mention for prodding and encouraging all of us to write with your thought provoking and illustrious writings on IL. You do it so freely without waiting for any rewards other than the feedbacks you get from us. Thanks.
I am sorry that my thoughts made you sad. But that is life. We see so much misery around us, inspite of realising world as a creation is beautiful. We are and can only be spectators for most of the time. Atleast we are aware. If each one of us make it a point not to cuase hurt to anyone, that in itself will be a small drop into the ocean.
Having said all that, I should remind myself not to get impatient with my own dear hubby when he asks for an untimely tea!!! That then is reality and the struggle for maintenance of emotional needs:))!!!

L, Kamla

Most Gracious ILites,
I have posted the great poem IF by Rudyard Kipling in this week's Saturdays With Varalotti. While the Desiderata can be designated the mother, this can be called the father of all poems.
This poem got its author the nobel prize and will surely give us much more than that - a happy and a contented life.
Happy reading.
Varalotti

Dear ILites,

Enough of relaxation. Now lets get back to work. I have posted a thread which is a reverse example in the series of Marriage and Emotional Needs.

The example I have quoted is as real as real can be.
Now I am waiting for your response. Sushma is waiting for your advice.

regards,
Varalotti