I Was Hurt! I Am Fine!

“What Varalotti you have started your old marketing tricks again?”

I hear you complain seeing the glaring contradiction in the title of this post. But let me assure you my dear GFs, they contain the truth and nothing but the truth.

Yes, I was hurt by a few happenings and went running to Her for relief. SHE let me cry my heart out before giving me a piece of Her mind.

We are all used to the movies and serials on God, where God thunders as a disembodied voice from up above. God, at least as far as I know, is too creative to neglect other easier, less clumsier and more personal means of communication.

I know that She respects our privacy and would hate to telecast our problems to the whole world. She can talk to us through some overheard conversation, a random page in a book flashing the much needed message, or just a random thought in our minds, giving us the clarity and the clarification.

And She did talk to me. She told me in Her own way that even to feel hurt in her presence is a kind of blasphemy.

Even to tell her about the pain is in a way questioning Her judgment, when She herself has given that pain.

And that silently bearing the pain is the finest prayer and the greatest tribute to Her love.

“Now tell me Sridhar, what do you want?” She asked in all earnestness.

“Shall I make you an Einstien, a Tagore, a Bharathi, or at least a Bill Gates?
A Warren Buffet or an oil tycoon? A Nobel Laureate or a business magnate?”

The mischievous smile in her face added to her infinite charm.

“None of them” I cried before Her.

“Fill my mind with love that I may have the maturity to accept whatever comes along my way. Fill my mind with love that whenever I speak to you, it shall be only a prayer of love and not a petition for relief.”

“Granted”

I place this prayer at Her lotus feet. All of those who read this, and those who do not, may be blessed with Her eternal love.

Oh my dear loving Lord, if I am to be born as a worm, let it be.
But please, my Lord and master, grant me this only boon.

That I should be crushed to death while I am crawling in your temple
By the lotus feet of those who come to you with real love!

And if I am good enough for that boon, O Lord
Let me take a hundred million births as an earthly worm
And crushed a hundred million times by the feet
Of those who come to you with love.

I want no more than this, My Lord!
I want no more than this, My Lord!"

But if I do not deserve that privilege
If that would be to your temple, a sacrilege
Let me be born your avowed enemy
And may you take arms against me!


Even more blessed, My Lord, are your foes
Than your friends and devotees many!
For what greater blessing is there!
Than to be killed by your own hands!


What great boon could be there
Than to be destroyed by you
And thus be made a part of you!
Whether you make me or kill me
Whether you give me a boon or a curse
Or give me something far worse!
There is your Love and what else?


For is not the Demon, Iraniyan, more loved
Than your devotee Prahlad!
You touched the child’s head to bless him
But you held the demon in your lap
You with your own,divine,loving hands
Tore out his entrails!


Is there a greater heavan than that?
Is there a life worthier than that death?

I want no more than this, My Lord!
I want no more than this, My Lord!"

Dear Sridhar,
You are back after a break.Hurray to that!!! This is prayer unusual to die at her hands, her temple. But then blessed are those who go away like that in peace.I have heard that to die when you are sleeping or pass away peacefully is a blessing that she alone can bestow upon us.When you pray in eranest it is sure to heard, so this is pne such a plea to the almighty which will not go unnoticed. Ellarukum kidaikuma andha bagiyam is what Iam forced to think.Joining you with folded hands!!!

Dear Sridhar,

Thanks for breaking your silence and Welcome back to IL and to your active writings. Though we were not deprived of that but still missed you a lot !

Now coming to the poem - what should I say? I always felt whether alive or dead, thinking of HER alone will save us and nothing more do we need. If we die at her hand also it is a blessing. I would say just to realise her is my greatest blessing.

When we are interacting with this world, we do get good doses of brickbats and boquets, when we just swell over boquets we should be able to take brickbats too.. I know this is very difficult to practice but being neutral always helps. Maybe she wants us to check ourselves so that we do not have an inflated balloon. Let us condsider this as her "Prasad" that we could undergo these experiences too in making us more stronger and definitely climbing one more step towards HER.

Welcoming you back, once again dear !

BTW: But dissappointed as I was expecting the mega serial.

Dear Sridhar,

“Fill my mind with love that I may have the maturity to accept whatever comes along my way. Fill my mind with love that whenever I speak to you, it shall be only a prayer of love and not a petition for relief.”

Wonderful lines Sridhar..... I think Experiences in our life is directly proportional to the maturity gained ..Am i right sridhar..?

Life is one which keeps the test first and then teaches the lesson after .. :)

More over No man is perfect...And also its humane..to shrink down..when having a loss or a bad critisism... and be in cloud nine when we get appreciations and credits....

prayer for love and not petition for relief.... Fabulous words...

And coming to the poem..
Very Very emotionally written....
The Pure love you have in her and your thirst for her love .is well portrayed in this Sridhar....

Even more blessed, My Lord, are your foes
Than your friends and devotees many!
For what greater blessing is there!
Than to be killed by your own hands!

So Poignant lines...How many of us atleast think once like this.... ??

Thanx Sridhar for a Fantabulous post again....
Let She and her Love be with you always.....

Dear Sir,

I am so glad to see you back. Yes Of course me and the whole of IL was missing your presence.

Good to know Sir that you found solace during your moments of solitude at HER feet.Where else can one find it anyway?

Your poem is excellent. Missed these wonderful words for three weeks and so glad that now we would have the pevilege to be treated to this bliss that comes from you.
SHE makes us, helps us through our moments of trials that no one can escape ,since thats a part of living and provides us with the relief that life requires at HER feet.

Good to have you back Sir, And now awaiting your next one!!

Love,
Devika

Dear sridhar,

Welcome back. I was also waiting nice to know you are fine now.

sometimes people say a few words without an idea how the effect is going to be...

The same thing has happened..and there is a kind of subdued inner turmoil all over IL though everything looks normal on the outside. The dominoes effect is felt and I am not going to say "NO".

I only remember Mahatma's words "Nobody can hurt me without my permission." . So may be somewhere, we have given them the permission to hurt by writing here.

Life always is a great teacher. I learnt one more thing..and i use the quote of an anonymous person..rather than my own words..here...

“I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that."

And when you are surrendered and are at HER feet she knows how to guide us. SHE will always guide us...

And loved your poem...and for not to look repeating..this is what comes to my mind....by my favourite PApanasam sivan...

Veyil illayae nizhalin inbamum undoh...thuyyar illayae ayyanai ninaipaar undoh...

So may this is also to teach us something...

Glad to know that SHE has helped you a lot.....

BTW..though you talk about SHE you have written about HE (just kidding..) HE/SHE they are the guiding force.

Dear Varalotti
I was just wondering where did you disapppear for a long time did not see any new posts from your side.
Nice to see you back with a beautiful poem for us all,
What is better then getting ourselve crushed at the feet of the Lord.
Very beautiful wording...............so from story writter you have switched to become a poet
Beautiful one with nice wordings

Dear sridhar,
So happy that you are back.To cheer us up and to enlighten us also.Please do allow me the libiberty of telling you that you,such a matured,caring and loving person can not and should not be hurt at all.
About the poem,after reading the poem only I told you ,how can a person who thinks so clearly and who loves everyone so much that you would not mind being crushed by their feet,provided they approach God with love,be touched by anything that is remotely negative.God bless you sridhar.
Regards
mythili

Dear Sridhar

nice to see you back to give us a beautiful poem. Glad to know you found healing at Her Lotus feet.

I am reminded of Buddha's words to his disciple. If someone gives us a present and we do not accept it, it stays with them, right? Same way we deal with any opinions or sentiments that might hurt us.

Anyway, it was Her way of seeing this poem from you!