Will You Be My GF?

Hello Sir,

Friendship can give us something that we cannot get from our family. For instance, we can talk with our friends about things which should not be touched upon when talking with our spouses or partners.

Male-female friendships are very difficult. I don't claim that they are impossible, but they are rare.

Friendship between a man and a woman is often viewed with suspicion, mistrust and even enmity.

Love and Friendship are two beautiful feelings - a combination - on one condition that one feeling does not destroy the other one.

However, most men and women agree that sexual relations pose a real threat to their friendships.

Friendship teases love for love’s restrictions; and love complains that friendship stays away from it. As a result both feelings suffer.

Personally, I believe in platonic friendships as long as it does not affect my love life.

No doubt and you have explicitly proved that you are a GF of all ladies in this forum that includes me too.

Oh my dear, dear Indhu,

I think we should both thank Malathy, the Induslady. But for her how could I have talked about GF in a womens forum and my DW could have responded to it and that too positively.

If writing about one's women friends in a public forum is a privilege for me, my own DW commenting on that is surely a much greater privilege. Thanks not just for the words written here, but for the understanding.

I know very well dear that if ever I attempted to give a romantic look it would have been like Kaundamani doing the same thing in the film Mettukudi. Yes, I know, women will flee the scene. Being my DW you will have to bear with that. But why should they!

In another angle I know that you love me because of that. For I have an in-built safety valve because of that romantic look.

good & young for ur age , sridhar -no doubt ! (...escape ! )

That's a good compliment.

I totally disagree with you on this point : If we have our mind in control , the distance is not at all a matter to be mentioned or considered. A person with a determined mind can remain genuine spending a whole night with his / her opposite sex in a closed room ( i think one of ur nice stories prove this – what say you ? ) I strongly stick to the opinion ( FYI – I ‘m not an opinionated person ) that there is no wrong in having friends in opposite sex if we have a strong & steady mind (not allowing to cross our limits ) . Of course we'll start moving with them only after confirming that they are as genuine as we are !

Well this is one point I can't agree with. Our minds are capable of fooling us into thinking that we are under control. Our senses are powerful and hence it is better to be on guard.
The crux of the point is that I do not believe in my self or in my senses or even in my mind. So I try to keep a cool distance. Though I have written about that same room experience in many of my stories, I have not been into such an experience so far.
When I had to meet a woman friend in her apartment when she was staying alone, we both decided to keep the main door ajar and she was sitting facing the entrance gate.
My sanskrit teacher used to say "balavaan indriyakraamaha". He also used to tell a story of a samiyar trapped with a beautiful girl. Slowly the senses take over and the man loses himself. Ever since hearing that story I try to maintain the distance.

Apart from my ( rough? ) comments … Sridhar , I declare wholeheartedly : you are a person to be respected by women , shown affection by whoever you are moving with & appreciated by all the kind hearts !

Very nice words, Madam. You know very well that I have a strong memory. So when we have our next fight, I am sure to quote you verbatim.
Ippo enna seiveenga!

After finished reading your post , the only thought I came to my mind was : I might have been ONLY your GF instead of your DW – to receive such Great words of praise from you ! Luckier they are ! In my next birth i would like to be ur G F ! ! ! ! Agreed ?

Not agreed, Madam. I have my own plans for our next births. I want to be born as your wife in my next birth and try to repay a small portion of what you did to me in this birth.

love,

Dear Sridhar & Indhu,
I am not surprised at all !
Open declaration by both of you, on the feelings you share for eachother, is a real (not reel)-life story, which ILites are enjoying very much.
Sridhar, I am sure even if you put all of your tender emotions & write a romantic novel, that will be no patch on what you both have shared here!
May God bless you, the special twosome of IL !
Love,
Chithra.

Those days I was busy counselling and was also counselled by these good friends.

Dear Sridhar,
That was exactly what I was doing too! These men first approached me as though to seek advice and guidance. They were all just out of college and had taken up jobs afresh.(Atleast that is what they made me believe!)
And there I was into trouble! But I have learnt my lessons too!
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Regards,
Malathi

Vow Indhu and Sridhar!
It was watching a 1970,s romantic movie, I mean the exchanges between DH and DW! Hmmm.... Don't make this thread an envious one! Kannu pattuda poradhu!
Regards,
Malathi

Dear Chithra,

You have proved to be an expert at "packaging" !!

Packaging is every thing. In fact in the recent seminar the speaker who spoke under my chairmanship told in his opening remarks that he still remembered what I told to the CAs some three years ago.
I told them that unlike the MBAs, we CAs are poor in packaging our services. That was why we tend to lose out to them though we have a better product.
I told the example of a tooth paste. Suppose when you ask for a tooth paste the shopwallah takes it out from a large vessel and places a lump of paste in your hand! You will puke. But placed in a neat, squeezable tube the paste is sold at a price which is about 50 times the cost of preparing the contents.

Yes, Chithra, you are my good friend. But why should you very particularly say 2.5 years? Being the wife of an accountant and the mother of another, I think you also have lapsed into the habit of pointless accuracy.
But those days are gone. Now we accountants are adept even in fuzzy logic.

No age is safe, Chithra. Nor is any age dangerous. Only persons are safe and dangerous. I know women in 50s who are quite dangerous. I know women in their 20s who are quite mature and absolutely safe for friendship. You are safe and good, there's no doubt about it. But for that don't blame it on your age. ha ha ha.

What you say is true. There is a very vital role played by a friend from the opposite sex which even the spouse cannot fulfill. But only thing is that such a friendship should not lapse into a dependent relationship from either side.

Now that we are GFs, you need not ask me this question again!

Thanks. But it is better I raise the question and you answer in the affirmative.

Thanks for the good fb, Chithra.
love,

Dear Lalitha,

Not again Sridhar...............your titles really drives me crazy !!

Thank you. That was the exact reason I chose those titles. At least for you it was ok. Another ILite has sent a very strong pm to me.

"At this rate, what is going to be your next title? 'Will you ----p with me? But sridhar, barking dogs seldom bite. Even if you choose a title like that it will be about lying in a grass meadow and gazing at the starts indulging in some philosophical thinking. None of your threads are controversial. Then why this unnecessary build-up?"

That was a kind of motherly affection expressed through words. I salute that ILites' love.

But in the modern world human attention is a precious and a scarce commodity. One has to do something to attract attention so that one can share whatever h has in his heart. That is the reason for such titles. Again when I see the index created by Chithra I find only a few entries under the title "Yes, We are Game Varalotti." I liked the title very much and so am adding a few threads there.

GF as girl friend or good friend is okay with me. Because I am a girl and a good friend also (hopefully...I am a self proclaimer.... you know).

I know you are a good friend, Lalitha. Even if you make a self proclamation on this, there are no issues, since it is fully true.
But you say you are a girl. Girl is normally reserved for some one who is below 20. I know you are somewhere in your late twenties (this is called playing safe absolutely) so for you it has to be LF or WF. ha ha ha... Expand the acronym and then you are in for a surprise prize...

One thing Sridhar men (no offence meant) just cannot take a girl friend as a good friend. I feel they are totally perverted. From my college days whenever I have spoken to a BF little extra, immediately they were ready to go on a date. Then I decided no men for me. Still I have inhibitions when I am with menfolk though I have lot of them now. Because slowly I am trying to change and get out of my mental block. Mybe the social setup is also like that.

One should not generalise like that. But what you say is substantially true. At this stage you need to read the book "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps?".
I have repeatedly said in this site that a woman doles out sexual favours for love. Whereas a man doles out love only for sexual favours.
But there are exceptions to this rule. If you have to be a million times careful in choosing a friend of your own sex, you will have to be a billion times more so in choosing a friend from the opposite sex.

This happened in Madurai 10 years back. A lady who had her own beauty parlour here, a young housewife and a mother, had a male friend with whom she used to discuss a lot of books. Then one day they eloped. That had a devastating effect on her son.

Having chosen a friend from the opposite sex one has to be extraordinarily alert and vigilant in sustaining that relationship at the same level.

To be very honest........I do like a lot chatting with men and exchanging our views..that is why I am here with you.

Thanks for the confidence reposed in me.

love,

Most Gracious ILites,
You might be surprised and even slightly annoyed over the time taken by me in responding to your fb. I don't want to bluff that I am too busy and that I have little time for this. To say that you don't have time for a particular activity is one of the greatest lies ever told. The truth is that the activity does not fit in the list of your priorities.
But in the case of fb I have been replying every fb right from the day I joined in this site when it was 2 months old and had less than a hundred members. This to me is an act of love. At the same time I don't want to scribble any reply that comes to my mind and post it just like that.
The moment a fb appears I go through that carefully and retain the contents in my mind. I mull over it again and again before I am ready for the response.

I am very anxious to give you a loving response which your quality fb richly deserves. That is the reason for the delay in replying to your posts. Please bear with me.
regards,

dear sridhar,
i am still searching for a nice boy friend, who will inspire by commenting in all my blogs and poem, discussing stuff and telling me how it should had gone right if these points were added sort of stuff, to stay online early in the morning to say hi good morning dear so how is ur day starting.

i want him to discuss with me on many fields and keep me occupied so much that i should look forward only to his chat and none else in the morning, the little nuances of a chat should linger in my mind vow what a powerful punch that line was from him.

a man who could read my mind well, and tell me no no no fight to day i am not ready kind who should know i am picking one, and should know how to cheer when low, we are a moody lot too when there is no blog coming to mind we become so uneasy and finicky then the friend should be able to pin point all these.

he should be able to write a poem on instant about the feelings of a woman, should be able to divert my mind if i am not feeling great, now tell me these are just a few of my favorite things i expect in a boy friend of mine are u anywhere near it....sunkan

Dear Varlotti,

When I got married, Hubby asked if I had any BFs, I said yes I do & don't expect me to leave him for you.

Hubby was shocked. On enquiring from my parents, he agreed with me, I must not leave my BF. Hubby even suggested BF & he would make good friends as both shared a common interest-Food.

I agree!

You know why Varlotti? Because my BF is Ganeshji himself! How can I leave such a cute cuddly BF?

As to being a female in a foreign country, Varlotti it like saying: here is my ticket to a free meal. Don't get me wrong, I love having people over but they take you for granted & it used to hurt.

It is like I tell people about life overseas: Men have to just fight Racism whereas we women have to fight Racism, Gender bias & Cultural obstacles!

But yes, I would love to be your GF.

Regards,

Corallux