Will You Play With Me?

varalotti · Feb 18, 2008

Will You Play With Me?

“This is the limit, Varalotti. First, it was, ‘Will you live with me, just for a day?’ Then, ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ And now, this. Why don’t you change your name to “Varalotti Controversy Rengasamy” so that controversy officially becomes your middle name?”

Agreed, agreed, agreed. If your anger persists even after reading this post, then I shall change my name. But now, all of you be good girls and boys and read on.

I belong to a club in <st1:City><st1lace>Madurai</st1lace></st1:City> called The Union Club. As a part of its 125th Anniversary Celebrations, a badminton tournament is being conducted in the club.

When you read the word “Tournament” do not imagine the National Level and the State Level players lining up for their fixtures. They might not even consider our “open badminton court” worthy of their game.

But that is more than enough for us, middle-class, middle-aged naughty men who do not have anything better to do in the mornings than hitting the synthetic shuttle cock a few times up in the air . The tournament is open only to the members of our club.

On 2nd February we decided on the teams purely by lots. On 3rd February the man assigned to play with me as my Partner and I stepped into the court to play the first match of the tournament. We won the very first game but lost the next two and thus lost the first match.

Our second match was scheduled this morning. If we lose this match then we would have to walk out of the tournament. Our opponent team had won one match and had lost another. So if they lose to us, they would have to walk out of the tournament.

Naturally this built up more than necessary tension on both sides. There were many spectators too which only served to increase our stress levels.

My Partner, a much more skilful player than I am, started making a lot of unforced errors. Before we could realise what was happening, the first game was over and we lost it. Now what we needed was a new strategy. My Partner was in stress, or I would rather say, he was in distress.

The need of the hour was not the playing skill but a winning strategy. And the victory had to come first at the psychological level. Then only we can translate it into reality.

I remembered a lesson learnt long back. If you are desperate to get something, you’ll never get it. Many couples who want to have a child desperately never have it. They then relent and adopt a child. Now the desperation is gone and soon the lady conceives. This has been too frequent an occurrence that the lesson it contained was quite obvious and quite powerful too.

I held my Partner’s hands and told him softly, “See, Mohan, they are not our opponents. They are our friends, our relatives, our brothers. Till yesterday we were playing on the same team. This is not an <st1:country-region><st1lace>India</st1lace></st1:country-region> vs <st1:country-region><st1lace>Pakistan</st1lace></st1:country-region> match.

“We are not even playing against the members of another club. Please don’t think that our reputation is at stake. Whether we win or they win, the victory is still ours. So relax. There is absolutely no need to win the game.”

My Partner relaxed. But something told me that it was not enough. We still had 30 seconds for our second game. I shouted across to the other side.

“You are our friends. It doesn’t matter whether we win or you win. So relax and focus on the game.”

They also smiled at us.

The second game begun. We played a relaxed game. That meant much less errors and we won 21-11.

Before the third game begun I repeated the same words. But the captain of the other team thought that I was playing a psychological trick.

So he countered my words. “We are friends. But till the match ends, you are our sworn enemies. And we should win the game.”

I said, “OK best of luck.”

Then they complained to the umpire that I was talking too much. I talked only during the breaks and during the game I talked only to my partner. So the umpire refused to intervene.

They put up a brilliant fight in the third game. But we were relaxed and in a closely fought game we won 21-19.

As I was driving back home tired and exhausted, I thought I have learnt a valuable lesson in life.

Do you agree with me?

While giving your fb, please summarise the lesson for me. Let me see the different angles from which we can analyse this strategy.

Sriniketan · Feb 18, 2008

sridhar sir,
well written, there is no doubt about that.

the strategy is very well analyzed---me too will follow when I am tensed.

This strategy must be applied by those countries fighting the 'religious' war or any war based on that.
We are all humans if we fight who is going to win?

we are not fighting against any aliens, we are fighting against our fellow human being who should be considered as brothers and sisters ( of course, except one Big Laugh)

As Mals has pointed out in her thread--tears come when we see or hear those news.

Nobody wins those wars, human race suffers..

If your strategy is bought there will be no war, only peace, peace and peace.

sriniketan

RamyaVaradharajan · Feb 18, 2008

Dear most Varalotti sir,

As far now, no one has dropped in their pearl of knowledge; but am ardently sticking to my words when I say, "many would have dropped in; of course wiser than me, before I complete my feedback scratching my conscience" !! :queen

"Will you play with me??" Yes, its a pleasure to play with a discerning man who plays with words and strikes a judicious winningBow. Let me reveal my gray matter here. You set my thoughts wise by sharing in your "shrewd experience".

Let the coin roll on in the invisible air for us to start the game of "Understanding the hidden play". The strategy of the plot revolves around setting our "conscious thinking" to a balanced state when something is required out of us, when we need to show case our talents. The maneuvers that we employ for the same speaks the language of our thought-process going on in the inside of us. The balance-wheel should be equally rotated for us to grab the situation with our adroit talents.

Let me bring to light a similar experience of mine here. I used to attend tennis classes when I was in eighth standard. I underwent summer camps so as to improve my strokes, stamina (which makes me clean bold soon after I enter the field), to shun off my laziness, and of course to learn the game to ease myself. The trainer was very kind enough in teaching me the tactics of the game and constantly pulled up my spirits with his "clever, witty and supportive words". I started to perform my best in the camp, thereby getting myself a place in the selection list for the first tournament. Though I lost two consecutive matches out of three; I emerged victorious. Literary terms, I was fired out during the third round (I guess in the quarter finals), but my stamina was at its peak and ended up earning a "fairly good name" from my trainer. That was possible only because of the mental-makeup that I had, that I tailored at the perfect situation that demanded me to act wise.

"We should win in the game of life". Winning other situations aids a better platform and doubles our spirits to perform better.

NB: Dear Varalotti sir, many a time I have ended up being a silent listener to your bountiful and creative thoughts. Today, I give a pat on my back and sit back happily for I have achieved something which I had planned for months together. Thank you very much for having been my "silent morale booster" !! Kindly apologize if my thoughts had spun the wrong thread without my conscience.

Regards
RamyaVaradharajan

(Ah.. Let me see whether mine is the first feedback now.. I bet I have failed in this, since almost an hour had passed by thinking about your creativity and my amateur thoughts!!! )

Meenaneelakantan · Feb 18, 2008

Dear Varalotti sir

Yes i am ready to play no matter whether i am going to be on the winning side or on the congratulating side!! Now, a story i read long back comes to my mind..Hope you would have read this..

There were discussions going on about how to arrange a drama for a school function. There were many characters for that drama to be staged n teachers were busy in picking the right casts for the different characters involved..A small boy was very eager to participate in that show n was anticipating a good role. But his mother knew that he wont get a chance of being a part of that play. She was very much worried thinking how her son would react when they announce the final list of names. That day came too n she was very nervous as she walked her way from home to school to pick her son up. As soon as she entered the school gates, she was surprised to see her son happily running towards her..He came n hugged her saying, "Mom, You know what..They have chosen me to clap." clap:clap

It is also true that our ability of functioning at a level that winning demands decreases once we think about winning. I have read this in a book wherein the author says, "There is nothing called as success or failure. We just produce results every time." And it is being said that greatest test of character is how we react when we lose.

If we make ourselves sure that we just went out and played n their is nothing to lose, then we feel as good for our opponents as we would have felt had we won the game!

If you are desperate to get something, you’ll never get it........Wow!! Yours words are to be treasured sir! Yes, the less attached we are, the more we find ourselves in harmony with our soul n body n higher are the chances of getting the same!!!

Love
Meena

Chitvish · Feb 19, 2008

Dear Sridhar,
Being a resident of Madurai from the early days of Union Club, I know what goes on there in the name of "playing", from time immemorial.You write:
middle-class, middle-aged naughty men who do not have anything better to do in the mornings than hitting the synthetic shuttle cock a few times up in the air middle aged,talking too much -
Simply talking? No Sir, the entire gossip session, "roasting everybody in Madurai" is decently or conveniently or stylishly called "playing" !

Please do not change your name to
Varalotti Controversy Rangasamy
As per your friends' statements, why not you consider
Varalotti "talking too much" Rangasamy

Well analysing games, strategy etc - I am incapable !

Who else, but yet another Maduraite,
Chithra.

sunkan · Feb 19, 2008

a valuable lesson indeed it is like the automation of mind which we learn while learning yoga, so once the master says close ur eyes and focus a moon in the centre of your forehead all try to do that and in the process some achieve but some doze off..sunkan

sathya · Feb 20, 2008

hello sridhar

congrats on winning
even if it is a kuttiyundu match
a relaxed mind often gets what it wants
people who advise students
say they should meditate for about five to ten minutes before they begin to study for exams and maybe a minute or two before they begin answering papers..
the little time you allot to calm your mind sure helps you win whatever it is be it a game or life's long list of missions
there are a few people who do it everyday on the negative side too...
hey you look a lot thin
when the poor woman is worrying herself thin
or have you forgotten the gym?
there's an inch or two more on your middle...
when in actual fact the middle took a slimming of more than a couple of inches...

good one

sathya

varalotti · Feb 20, 2008

My dear,dear friends,
Sorry for the delay in responding to your posts. I was busy with some office work, HE 16 and the Contest Announcement.
Will reply to your fb soon.
A personal sorry to Sriniketan, Ramyavaradharajan, MeenaNeelakantan, Chithra, Sunkan and Sathya.
So many developments have happened. God has balanced my knowledge and has rounded my experience.
Cant wait to share it with you all,
love,

AGR · Feb 20, 2008

Dear Sridharji

Nice observation. Every game is a mind game….be it badminton, business or even our relationship….enjoyed reading <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">ur</st1lace></st1:City> experience…….

and answer to will you play with me.......HOLD....just thinking abt a new strategy.....

varalotti · Feb 21, 2008

Dear Sriniketan Madam,
First please accept my apologies for the really inordinate delay in replying to your post to this thread.
Your idea of applying to this strategy by those countries fighting in the name of religion is quite lofty. But I would rather suggest that we should start applying the strategy close at home.
For instance in our schools. Thanks to the competitive environment in the academic field, especially when it comes to scoring maximum marks in Plus Two, students see their fellow-students as competitors and enemies. The pity is that even parents view other children as enemies (unless of course the other children are obviously smarter than their own) Of course none of our 16000 plus ILites are like that.
I remember my SSLC exams which I wrote some 32 years ago. I didn't know a particular problem in Geometry and approached my classmate whose mathematical skills were well-known. He told me on my face, "Sridhar, I am not a dunce. If I teach you this problem you will score more marks and then I can't get the school's first mark. So please ask somebody else."
I was offended at first. But then appreciated his honesty. He could have misguided me on that problem which he didn't do.

But that attitude of viewing one's friends as competitors was quite disgusting. I vowed on that day, that when it comes to academic knowledge, whatever I know, I'll share it with whomsover who asks it. Now don't mistake me, it's not a question of ethics. It's again a strategy. When you teach something you don't know you end up knowing that and even become a master in that. I can almost say that that was my winning strategy when I wrote one of the world's toughest examinations - CA Finals in November 1981.

Before the winning strategy of love the world's most powerful nuclear weapon is powerless.

Thanks for the fb, Sriniketan. And sorry for the delay.
Hope your husband is doing fine. Convey my pranams to him.
regards,