Varalotti in the US -4 The Old Monsters And The New Lessons!

Dear Varalotti,

That was a nice article on parents comparing with the ageing turbines.... I would like to add a few points.....

All parents are not like that.... I have seen some parents who add value to their kids even when they are retired their kids started having kids... The famous tamil saying "Tholukku minchina thozhan".... Lot of parents follow that principle.... Though I sometimes envy some of my friends...

There are parents who takes care of their grand children, teaching them at home, taking them to extra curricular activities, managing the funds and properties of the son who stays oversears etc....They still add value to their kids.

With the modern trend, the older generation keeps themselves updated on the technology front also....

I agree with you that this is a minority segment and it has to grow....

Veda

Hello Malathi,

Nice to see your response though delayed. Parenting styles keep changing over time. In my childhood days it was pretty simple and easy. A benevolent autocrat style was more than enough.

But today with the kind of facilities available to the kids, and with the kind of time-pressure on the parents, that style will not work. What is needed is a kind of hands-off style.

Comparing with technology the olden days parenting was like directly talking into the cell-phone handset. But the style of these days is having a blue tooth device and talking into it. Apparently there is no physical connection between the blue-tooth and the phone. But there is a stronger and a real connection between them.

Yes, I do have a good time here. But I do miss my wife very much. They say presence strengths love and absence sharpens it. I am now in the sharpening mode.

As to the next serial HE I have thought about a few plots and have mentally chosen one. I will start working on it when I go back to India.

I want the serial to be a Diwali release. But I am not sure. Let's see.

regards,

Dear Veda,
You are perfectly right. All shower their love and attention on their grandchildren. No issues about it. The crucial parenting time is when the kid has grown up and has not yet settled into work and marriage. It is during these times that a parent has to take extra careful not to dominate the child with his or her ideas.
I know an Indian family in the US. The parents are making millions of dollars. Their only daughter fell in love with the Kannada boy. (They were Tamils). The girl's father agreed but the mother was vehemently against it. The love fell through. Today the girl is nearing 40 and is yet to be married. The mother is a typical gas-turbine parent.

Of course as you have rightly said, trends are changing and many parents are learning the art of let-go.
Thanks Veda for your post,
regards,

Dear Varalotti,
We both are (me& Malathi) catching up with IL as we were preoccupied. I really enjoy reading your articles Regarding this article, during Tamil Sangam time itself , if I am not wrong, Ilankovadikal had stated in Silappathikaram, "pazaiyana kazithalum puthiyana pukuthalum puthuvathanRu ivvulakathiyaRkai". So we do have to adjust to the change in life. But regarding your othe post, I want to tell you that being a mil, your comparison of mils with dinosaurs made me shudder.
Regards,
Pushpavalli

Dear Pushpavalli,
I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading my post. I am also concerned that I made you shudder with my MIL-Dinosaur post.
But Madam, in that post, you will find that I have brought out the superior surviving power of the mils. The comparison of mils and dinos is only to the point of illustrating the surviving capacity - you see dinos have survived for 130 million years, 25 times more than the time human beings have survived on earth. (so far)
In that post I just want the newly wed girl to know that her mil is already up in the race and just acknowledge her mil's survival capabilities.
Hope I have clarified you.
Please read the post once again. If you still feel that there are elements in the posts that are hurtful to your feelings, I will be only too glad to remove it.
regards,