A Very Bold Lakshmi No Doubt, But Can You Accept Her?

i think this decision is not the right. there is no need to marry Ram. she is a major, so she can stay with rishi's parents with out marrying ram. if anyone's mind change, it will affect all others involved.

While Prathi is all for Lakshmi, Surya is against. Let's take them one by one. Now Prathi, the arrangement looks flawless but there are a lot of risks. We are used to typical romantic movies, romantic novels, best sellers etc. But love in real life is completely different. But more than anything else we cannot assume that human mind will be the same for a period as long as two years. If you consider these factors the risks involved are:
a) Ram may change his mind, might start liking Lakshmi and might even refuse to give her divorce. Lakshmi cannot rely on the agreement as the Courts will not entertain agreements which put the institution of marriage to shame.
b) Lakshmi might even change her mind and start loving Ram.
c) Rishi might change his mind and his love for Lakshmi might wear off.
d) As another member very intelligently pointed out, given this situation, it will be very difficult for Ram to get a good bride.
Now to Surya:

Lakshmi is a major and all is not a practical argument in India. Lakshmi's parents might still try to force her into marriage with a stranger. In matters like these more than anything else, parents, at least most of them want to keep their egos in tact. So just to prove their point they might force Lakshmi to marry a worthless person.
On the other hand if Lakshmi is married, another marriage is not legally possible until a valid divorce is decreed by a competent court. And once Lakshmi makes known the fact of marriage then no groom will be ready to marry her. That way she is safe.

Don't think I argue on both the sides. The correctness of Lakshmi's decision depends on the intensity of factors on either side.
So let's continue...
sridhar

As i mentioned before, it all depends on Lakshmi's feeliings.....If she respects her parents and love them equally, if she doesn't want them to undergo any sort of humiliation, then i don't have to mention what sort of decision she will be taking......
But, if her love is more than her parents, then definitely she can go for legal protection........I know one of my friend who has taken legal help to stay away from marriage for 1 year coz the one she loved was in abroad and he had asked her for 1 year's time to come back and settle with her..........
Just becoz she wants to marry Rishi and settle with him, she is ruining Ram's life also.....May be now he'l have no problem with the marriage, but later on, if any conflicts arising b/w two brother, it will effect Lakshmi more than anyone........
U can't trust anyone, not even ur own brother........

And even after Lakshmi and Rishi's marriage, as normal husband and wife, they will aslo have small quarells in life. Don't u think Rishi will not mention about Lakshmi amd Ram's marriage atleast once? Will that not hurt Lakshmi? ........

To be on the safer side, don't rely on anyone......Lakshmi and Rishi love each other, so they have to sit and discuss what can be done, rather than pulling everyone into the problem..... It's all nice to hear as a brave tales, but it is actually not possible in real life.This is going to rather hurt everyone in the long run......
Regards.

One thing that is remarkable about your reply is that you have slipped into the shoes of Lakshmi's parents and have then viewed the problem from their angle. It is rare to see a woman so young to take the parental view. I am touched by the concern you show for parents.
As I have already stated in 9 out of 10 cases the parents are right and the children would do well to just tow the line of their parents. But there are the 10% for whom their own ego is more precious than their children. We don't have any information about Lakshmi's parents. From the way Lakshmi has taken such a daring and such a risky decision we can infer that her parents fall into the 10% category.
Now, you view the whole scene from Lakshmi's angle. Agreed that there would be risks and problems in the future. But if she had not taken that daring step she might be facing an immediate problem of being forced into a marriage with an unwanted groom.
She has preferred the possibility of a probable future happiness to certain immediate hell.
regards,
sridhar

Agreed that there were possibilities of Lakshmi getting married to some unknown guy in the future and to avoid that, she has taken this decision, but think about the other people involved in this problem......Rishi, Ram, Rishi's parents and Lakshmi's parents........For a moment, forget about Lakshmi and tell me how wud u judge this case(keeping these people in mind).....If u were in anyone of these people's place, practically what wud u do?
Whatever, i'm not happy with whatever Lakshmi has done....And even Rishi's family shudn't have encouraged it......That is what i feel.........Different people have different perception towards marriage, but this is what i feel.......I am a typical Indian and i respect this system of marriage. No offense meant.
Regards.

Varalotti,

I have a different view about this Lakshmi. I don't see her act as boldness...it is just mere selfishness. As mentioned by few other ladies already, she has complicated life of Ram, inorder to save her love and life.

I am also surprised/shocked how Ram/Rishi's parents can agree to such thing suggested by Lakshmi . Is Ram their son like Rishi? How can they be so good to Rishi and take risk in Ram's life? I would like to quote this saying in tamil...'oru kannula vennai and oru kannula sunnamba?'.

I would have appreciated Lakshmi, if she had taken time to convince her parents and stood firm in getting their agreement also for the marriage. Whatever she had to go through, she should have gone through to make her love life succeed with Rishi.

Dear Shakthi,
Your reply is as powerful as your name suggests. In fact the very purpose of my starting this Lakshmi column is to elicit such strong views from the members, of course stronger views from both the sides.
For starters I am not fully in favour of this Lakhsmi's action. Unlike all my other Lakshmi's this is a actual happening (surprisingly I read it in the Economic Times).
But we should appreciate Lakshmi's difficulties also. Her parents might have been seriously looking for another groom and force her into an unwanted marriage. Then she like many women should spend the rest of her life with one man, thinking about another. Perhaps she wanted to avoid this.
Convincing the parents-- well from the convenience of arm-chairs this argument looks very plausible. But in reality have you seen any parents being convinced by their children's arguments especially when it comes to love marriage and especially when the love is between persons of different caste, community or religion. I haven't seen even a single instance.
Please note that I am not against the parents. But here the intensity of her love for Rishi has made her take such a bold decision.
I love the 'vennai sunnambu' argument. But let's not forget, Shakthi, that Ram has not been forced into this arrangement. He is a matured man of the right age and he has taken this decision to help his brother and his love. There are brothers who are ready to donate their kidneys for their brothers; in the light of that Ram's sacrifice is all right. Let's not blame Rishi's parents. They did not ask Ram to do the sacrifice. Rishi has asked Ram; Ram agreed and their parents okayed the arrangement. So no question of any partiality - or vennai-sunnambu here.
As I have repeating so many times there are many risks involved. Ram may change his mind. might refuse to give divorce, or Lakhsmi might change her mind and decide to stick on to the marriage. The arrangement may create complications for Ram and his future marriage. Whether the decision is wise or otherwise, only time can tell and that too after the two-year period.
regards,
sridhar

Even i think she is being very selfish.....She has to think from both sides....
Let me also add that it's not a bold step taken by Lakshmi, it's is the bold step taken by Ram........Coz, if u think for a while, he is getting effected from both the sides.....Rishi may later accept her or not, even if he accepts her, they lead a good life or not....It's Lakshmi's head ache........But, for Ram, it's different.....He shud totally depend on his luck to get a good and understanding bride........
So, here Lakshmi has not taken a brave step, it is Ram who has taken an extremely brave step....
What do u guys?

Regards.

Sridhar,

To my earlier reply u said i was all for lakshmi. I was trying to be practical. I did acknowledge the risks involved like u listed down in response. May be if someone had asked an opinion as to what has to be done in such a situation..i would have argued like my other lady friends or that I personally would not have taken the step lakhsmi had taken. When such a thing has already happened, i am only tryin to hope for the best for them. We can obviously assume the negative side of things. Ram would change. lakshmi would chang and all that. But we can also think of the positive side. Not that i dont agree with any of my friends. Its just that i feel, we have to see both pros and cons of a situation.

As u said only time can tell. But i am really curious to know what would happen in their lives after 2 years of this incident. Hope we can really keep track of it!!

My mind is also in constant debate over this issue. Whie one half says boon, the other says bane. I am trying to put forward the boon . Thats it.

Prathi, one of the main purposes of these Lakshmi's snippets is to show that nothing in life is just black or white. There are only different shades of grey. We should remember this fact when we are called upon to judge others. Honestly, I can't judge this Lakshmi. On the one side there are real risks which might materialise within the 2 year period. On the other hand there is a lurking danger which is in the present that might thwart her love. Torn between these forces Lakshmi has taken a bold decision. Prathi, sitting comfortably as we are, we wont be taking decisions like this. But driven to extremes people do things which appear weird and even scary to others. But no one can judge unless we fully understand the individual and her environment. I am also hoping upon hope that everything should turn well for Lakshmi, that Rishi, Lakshmi and Ram and every one should come out of this situation unscathed. But from my position I can only hope wish and pray.
regards,
sridhar