Sexual Favous for a Signature - My short story in Dinamalar

Dear Mrs. Rajameenakshi,
thanks a lot for your emotional appreciation of the story. In this story no tit for tat is involved. The girl just makes him stand on the shoes of the father of the victim. And that too for a short time.
Realisation has to happen only this way.
regards,

Dear sridhar,

Sexual harassment is one side as mentioned here.

it happened in a company (no names of co...). the proprietor just forces all the girls working there to sleep with him either in his cabin or in a room. most often i heard that they get scared and leave after a few days.If the girls will to stay they get better salaries and increments and favors.

In one of the leading it co... the boss wanted the girl to take care of him b4 he put her in the list of people going to the us.

It happens in schools. the management keeps quiet inspite of knowing that it happens.

The other angle.... (I will not say it is the opposite of sexual harrasment.. i dont have a better name)

At the same time as your friend has mentioned today some girls dont have any scrupples about using their beauty to get what they want.



In the same it co. one of my friends colleague says that I have ... the boss wants... anyway it is going to waste, so let me put it for the best use and go to us.

This happened to my sil she quoted this saying i have seen this happening in cinema/serials.. what is happening to today's girls.

She had to stand in queue for billing at a reputed hospital. there was a big one. ladies on one side and gents on the other. a teenage girl came and started getting in between the queue. so a few ladies told her to go and join at the end. the girl did not do that, she went and just stood rubbing shoulders..... with the men in the gents queue. slowly one after the other allowed her to pass in turn each had the satisfaction of rubbing (I dont have a better word for it...) and she came out and just waved the bill at the ladies and went.

I did not want to deviate from the topic of sexual harasment. hope you don't mind.

Love,
shanthi

hello sridhar

reg my reply that was a way with words i havent said you should not get a doctorate or go out boldly .... it is just that life has been kind to me except for a few dashes in crowded places which i avoid anyway. whatever i know about sh sure comes from newspapers stories and magazines. i do understand what they are going through.

life has two sides to everything... a coin has two sides... up and down.. day and night ....a gemini in the making... girls right from their childhood are either taught or go by premonition... cautious nature call what you want... to be aware that danger is near a choice is not always possible but one can surely try.. to decide which is more important the work at hand or your personal being...to avoid a mental breakdown later,,,in case you decide the other way...or have not been lucky enough to take a flight...why do you think there are so many suicides in the film industry...and heroins boozing too...atleast for sometime they can forget the crocodiles.. at large..

i wonder if you remember kamal hassan in a movie will say can women do whatever we men can do? and the heroine will look questioning he will reply ... if it is hot we remove our shirts and go free..how about it? and she will look agitated but will keep mum if she was bold enough she could have replied...
ya it would have been possible if we were brought up to think we can expose all but dear sir ...we are indian and indian culture sure is good...!

actually i just have a way with words sridhar and i dont want to use good words in topics that can hurt....my feelings or others'

sathya

dear sridhar,
sexual harrassment isan enarmous topic, dont touch it as many here dont have the guts to tell what they actually want to, because afraid that what the others might think of them, this is what i have assumed with not many takers for so many sensitive issues i have posted here, and all of us know it is there every where, some woman have had their own husbands as pimps and have kept mum, so life for some is over exposure for which they may not be prepared, and for some it is no other go, so which side u want to hear do let me know, i have been a feminist and read a lot about these will give u narration on each of it with clarity which many have not been exposed to, if i remember having a chat with u about the bangladesh war in 1971 where father raped his daughter under gun point and mother was raped by the son in the same manner, dont want to flare up bye for now...sunkan

Dear Shanthi,

that was one hot post on an already hot topic.

Let's agree that there are bad men and bad women. People who want to have sexual favours from their work place and people who dole out sexual favours for their personal gain.

Even that is neither moral, nor right. As the girl who grants sexual favours climbs up the ladder faster where as people with character are denied the chance.

Leaving that out I am focussing on issues where a woman is forced to give out sexual favours.

(Rarely it happens to men as well. I remember a guy in US who filed a sexual harrassment suit against his lady boss. And I have my friends telling, why should that lucky guy make such a fuss of it? Thats how men think.)

'Casting couch' has almost become an idiom for granting sexual favours in the movie world. My friends in the TV tell me it is far worse in TV than in cinema. Some of the suicides of young actresses in TVs are because of that.

I for one feel that the initiative should come from women. They should put their feet down and say a firm no. Not only that they should make a big hue and cry and complain to their higher-ups, publicise etc. Then only this menace could be controlled.

While on this I have to balance the discussion by saying the other side. There are women who use "sexual harrassment charge" as a weapon against strict male bosses and get things done. Some of my clients who are doctors, and who are big bosses, have a very good code. When they talk to a femal employee either they keep the door open or call a HR Person who is also a lady, to be present throughout the discussion.

And finally, what you said in the last part is true. I know an export company where the MD openly tells us the female candidates aspiring for a job there that they have to sleep around. But he pays well, sends them on trips abroad and after three years of service, also grants considerable financial assistance for their marriage.

Where the world is going to? I do not know.
regards

[quote=varalotti;97567]Dear Shanthi,

that was one hot post on an already hot topic. (I knew it is hot)


Leaving that out I am focussing on issues where a woman is forced to give out sexual favours. (Agreed. I know a relative of mine was forced to take divorce as the husband wanted her to be nice to his father for a few days)

(Rarely it happens to men as well. I remember a guy in US who filed a sexual harrassment suit against his lady boss. And I have my friends telling, why should that lucky guy make such a fuss of it? Thats how men think. here also agree. otherwise the story for the hindi movie aitraaz would not have been available)

'Casting couch' has almost become an idiom for granting sexual favours in the movie world. My friends in the TV tell me it is far worse in TV than in cinema. Some of the suicides of young actresses in TVs are because of that. (yes this is very true. but the glitter and fame has caught the children of today so much, they dont mind going and falling into these traps for easy money. again i will not stereotype all in the tv industry. )

I for one feel that the initiative should come from women. ABSOLUTELY TRUE. how many parents/husband support the women when they want to take a intitiative. i know of parents who just say nee edho encourage panra madhiri seithirupey otherwise he will not do that )
They should put their feet down and say a firm no. Learn to be brave and face it and solve ourselves without depending on a hero???? to come and rescue us. let us learn to deal them in a better way.

Not only that they should make a big hue and cry and complain to their higher-ups, publicise etc. Then only this menace could be controlled. we are so conscious of the society we make big hue and cry for lot of things but when it comes to sexual harassment otherthan the ones that are done for pure personal gains we dont want to publicise. Even when there is a complaint to the higher-ups it does sometime fall on deaf ears. there are school kids who go and talk about it to their teacher/parents. the principal will not take action. the parent will be scared to go and talk as they don't want to spoil the future of their child.
I would seriously say if the mother/wife comes to know that their son/husband is involved in sexual harassment raise your voice against it. make them realise. that is the first thing we can do to help this cause.


While on this I have to balance the discussion by saying the other side. There are women who use "sexual harrassment charge" as a weapon against strict male bosses and get things done. Some of my clients who are doctors, and who are big bosses, have a very good code. When they talk to a femal employee either they keep the door open or call a HR Person who is also a lady, to be present throughout the discussion. (I think there was a cover story in The WEEK some years?? before that to settle property disputes rape cases were filed against...in rajasthan??. .)

And finally, what you said in the last part is true. I know an export company where the MD openly tells us the female candidates aspiring for a job there that they have to sleep around. But he pays well, sends them on trips abroad and after three years of service, also grants considerable financial assistance for their marriage. (this is very common, I would really pity the females who are in dire situations.but what about the well off children who just for the extra pocket money go on dates with ..... i am sure u r aware of that also.there is a big racket in chennai itself.)

Where the world is going to? I do not know. even i dont know. but i want to do my little bit. i tell my children u have to be a good human being before being anything else.

too hot to handle,

love
shanthi

Originally Posted by varalotti

Thanks a lot, dear TDU. It is a very nice feeling to have my writings approved and appreciated by you, fellow Maduraiite and a senior member of this wonderful site.

I would like to discuss the sexual harrasment issues right here. Will be happy to hear your views, your suggestions on that.
regards,

Sexual harassment at workplace, man-woman equality at workplace, domestic violence, child marriages, female foeticides, divorcees/widows' issues are some of the burning problems facing Indian women as I know since my wife as a lawyer/director of India Centre for Human rights at Bangalore is fighting for affected women in these. That is the reason of my whole hearted support to you when you bring through your eloquent and absorbing stories, about these problems. Already the topic of sexual harassment has attracted so many posts in this forum. I feel that one need not be a faminist to deplore these wrong practices. As you have brought out in your story, if all males realise that they do have sisters, mother if not grown-up daughters and how they will feel if they are subjected to such harassments, it will put an end to such practices.

Regards,

TDU

hello sathya,
Thanks once again for the detailed post.
As I have told in my reply to Shanvy (shanthi) we are not here concerned with those girls who are ready to sleep for personal gain. But if a girl is threatened to sleep with somebody then that is a clear violation of the woman's rights. You know the famous case of Phaneesh Murthy of Infosys, the Global Head of Sales and Reka Maxillowhich. Phaneesh compelled Rekha to sleep with him on several occasions. She said later in her complaint that at that time she did not have any other alternative. She filed a suit and won damages of $3 Million Dollars. Infosys coughed up one million and Phaneesh the other two.

One more thought on this, Sathya. There is nothing called free lunch in this world. Men who enjoy the privilege of sleeping with their female colleagues later pay a very dear price. Either in terms of money or in terms of losses in family.

If any man has even a small quantity of brains and a minimal vision into future, he would not indulge in such pleasures.

Thanks for the participation, sathya.
regards,

dear sunkan,
thanks for the kind words of caution. I would suggest that we limit the discussion to sexual harrassment at workplace, including the academic world.

The kind of perverts you are talking about are also there. But let's not use this thread to discuss those extreme cases.
We shall discuss about men in office, especially in their forties and fifties, who habitually harrass their female colleagues for sexual favours. And what should be a woman's attitude towards such men.

regards,

Dear TDU,
thanks for the inputs. Nice to know that your wife is championing the cause of women. If you can post some interesting harrassment cases handled by her (without infringing the privacy of her clients, with names and places changed) it will be fine.
What are the choices available for a woman? That is one thing we need to discuss here.
regards,