"Diya's Dilemma" - Contest for the month of June

hi geetha

hearty congrats!!

Dear Malathy and the judges
for the honour. I am elated to receive a special mention for my contest entry .
IL has been coming up with real innovative and interesting contests month after month and I enjoy participating.
I have been motivated to improve my vocabulary and writing style to meet IL's standards.
Thank you Induslady & Team.

Regards
Sowmya

Here's my entry..

Friends,
It's me Diya. Just thought I'll give you all a brief glimpse of my family and the developments so far while I am eagerly waiting for my parents to reach my place. Today is a crucial day. We need to take an important decision regarding Ria's wedding.

My parents Sushma and Sanjay Khanna are happily married with three daughters Diya, Ria and Nisha .I being the eldest, am comparable to the son of the family and take great pride in saying so. My husband Akash, is the CEO of a start-up software firm in Jaipur and is a very busy man who travels on frequent business trips to the US. He's a very affectionate husband, a responsible son- in- law and a great brother & trustworthy friend to Ria and Nisha.

Nisha is currently in her final year engineering and has already been recruited by an IT giant through campus selection procedure. Ria is enterprising, was adamant on going abroad for her higher studies, did her Masters degree in University of Illinois and is well placed in the Silicon Valley.

As you are already aware my sister Ria is in love with her colleague Christopher who is an Afro-American. Ria made it very clear during our chat last week that she would remain single all her life if we did not agree to this alliance and wanted me to convince our parents. She is determined that her wedding should take place with our parents total consent & blessings. I am confident about Ria's decision making capability. She's a person with foresight, has a very balanced approach to life and is not the kind to enter into a lifetime commitment based on mere infatuation. I tried to make her understand that it would be difficult for us to get Nisha a good alliance if she married Christopher, but Ria's description about his qualities convinced me that she has made the ultimate choice and they would make an ideal couple. .I wanted to know Akash's views and immediately after the chat session briefed him. Since Akash is already in Los Angeles on an official trip he offered to visit Ria in San Francisco to get a clear picture about the prospective groom & his family to make sure that the alliance is suitable for our family. Akash is not ready for a compromise. He clearly wants the best guy for Ria.. a person with whom she could lead the rest of her life in harmony. According to him, caste or religion is a secondary factor compared to mutual understanding prevailing between couples.

I interacted with Christopher through Skype a couple of days back , voiced my concern over some delicate issues and was amazed by the spontaneous answers which clearly reflected his humanitarian approach and affection for our family. I requested Ria via email to postpone the engagement ceremony by a couple of weeks so that based on Akash's inputs I would get sufficient time to convince our parents. Akash met Ria and Christopher yesterday and has sent a detailed description about Christopher and his family via email. Akash is absolutely impressed and we have decided to go ahead and convince my parents to proceed with the alliance.

I hear the door bell. They are here. I have invited my parents over to know their perspective, update them on Akash's views and discuss the issue so that we can take the final decision. Akash has promised to come online along with Ria & Christopher at 11am IST and now the ball is in my court.

My dad confessed that they were too shocked to react to Ria's words initially. Ria had sent across some snaps and from her description my parents are also pleased with Christopher but they are emotionally shattered. It’s evident from their talks. They have reservations in accepting a Christian as their son in law. Dad did not expect this from Ria. The cross-country barrier, cultural barrier, differences in food habits and other obstacles stopped my father from giving Ria an affirmative answer .Mom is apprehensive about Ria adjusting to a totally new culture after marriage. My parents are worried that Ria would lose all ties with our culture and tradition. They wanted to know our opinion and Dad said he would consider our views seriously because we are the representatives of the present generation and can relate to the situation in a broader perspective



(contd..)

My entry - contd...

This is what I told my parents. "Papa you have always given us the best in our lives and we have never heard a "NO" for an answer from you. I have never seen you and mom perturbed before and can very well understand your parental anxiety. Christopher and his parents respect our Indian tradition and are elated to bring home an Indian bride. During my chat with Christopher I discussed the difficulties which may crop up due to the inter-religion marriage when we try to find a match for Nisha and his spontaneous response was. "We are ready to postpone our wedding till Nisha gets married." I was dumb struck. When I asked him how would Ria handle and cope up with the religious disparity and so also food habits he said that he would not force his religious belief on her and she is free to pursue her religion and neither he nor his parents expect her to undergo conversion. He also made it clear that he will not force her to cook non-veg and would respect her sentiments.”

“When I asked Ria what is so special about Christopher that attracted her towards him she said that when she joined the organization she was totally lost in the alien environment and Christopher was the person who got her acquainted with Indians and also made arrangements for her stay with an Indian family known to him as a paying guest till she became familiar with the place and moved out on her own. His brilliance, helpful tendency, soft nature and mental maturity impressed her. She says that she feels emotionally secure in his presence. A woman’s basic instinct does not permit her to trust a man easily and when Ria, who is very guarded in her interaction with men admits that she’s comfortable with him, it’s evident that he’s a person of morals."

"Dear ma and pa.. Ria is your daughter and will not hurt your sentiments. She is waiting for your consent and will get married only with your blessings. She says that she will remain single if you object to this alliance. She will not go against your wishes at any cost. I know you are happy with Ria's choice but the only inhibiting factor is religion .Time is the healing factor and I am sure you will get over this reservation soon. Dad, haven’t you taught us when we were kids that the purpose of any religion is to guide mankind to lead a disciplined life, be tolerant & compassionate to fellow beings? We need to give priority to Christopher’s exemplary qualities and not his religion. Ma, are you worried about inviting sarcastic comments from our near and dear ones? Are we going to deny Ria a life of her choice fearing the society?
If we accept Christopher whole heartedly I am sure that our relatives would accept him too. You are in fact setting an example of being a couple with progressive thoughts by accepting Ria’s wedding. In an arranged marriage we proceed based on status compatibility, family background, the groom's looks, qualification and earning potential, yet the prospective bride and groom make the final decision. Do they get to understand each other completely before the wedding? There is no need for you to worry about Christopher's family background or status.. Akash has done a thorough check and is extremely satisfied .Please read the printout of the mail Akash has sent . We have ample time to plan for Nisha's wedding and the future is not in our hands.
I could see my father's face brighten slowly as he read through the detailed email .I left the place so that my parents could discuss and take a favourable decision.
My parents called me after some time and dad said "Diya.. I have a demand which has to be met and I settle for no compromise!. I was puzzled.. Dad laughed loudly and said "Christopher will have to garland my Ria the Indian way right here in Jaipur."

Dear Geetha,
Congratulations! This definitely deserved the best entry prize. The judges have certainly done a wonderful job! Keep writing. I write for the fun of writing and it gives me a thrill to participate in these challenging contests so that people get to have different points of views.
Regards,
Malathi

PS- I will post my entry in this thread as requested by you and at the request of the moderators if I am able to locate it in the sent message!

Dear Honeybee,
Yours was a beautiful post too in the form of a story and deserved to be amng the best posts. Congratulations!

Hi Indus Ladies Team!
You have all done a great job! I know how difficult it would have to judge the entries! but hats off to you for the best selection! Thank you for having short listed my post also.As I had already mentioned in one of the previous posts, I submit entries for the fun of it and for other ladies in this site to have a different view point.Being accepted as one of the best entries is a great joy for me and I reiterate that I would like to be left out for the prize winning post
Regards,
Malathi

My entry

Putting myself in the place of Diya, I would like to take sides with my younger sister Ria and convince my parents to accept Ria's choice.

The reasons that I would give my parents-

1. "Ria is a major,she is well educated and has been moving about with this guy for some time now. So she must be aware of all the cross-country barriers, cultural barriers, differences in food habits and all other obstacles.She also seems to be unperturbed by these factors. Ofcourse, you may argue that she is blinded by Love and is not able to think of the problems in store for her in the future.Let us first chart out the problems that we foresee for her and then have an open discussion with her so that if she has overlooked any of these, we make her aware of it. We can give her some time to mull over it. After this, if she is firm in her decision to marry this man, then let us accept it gracefully. After all it is her Life and she has to live it, good or bad."
2. "I personally feel as parents you have duties towards your children. You do not have a right over them. They are not the properties at your disposal that you can do whatever you want with them. You have a right to feel happy or sad about them based on their decisions, choices and conduct. You have the right to inculcate good moral values in them (which you believe in, society's view points may differ), to enrich them with your experiences in life. Thus having performed your duties, just stand aside and watch them grow. Their decisions may go wrong. Their life my go hay wire. This may hurt you most. Yet, be there for them when they need you most." BECAUSE- That is when they will realise the value of true LOVE and the worth of parents."
3. "Now, you may ask,' Do you want us to wait and watch her sinking into the quick sand of Life and then pull her out when most of her being has been gobbled up by the quick sand.' You may also say that to understand our worth ( which is a selfish motive) we watch her sinking and wait for her to come out of it on her own.
4. "Let me explain- Every one has been allowed by nature to a lot of choices in Life. That is every individual's birth right. Each choice leads to a different situation/result. Now you, having done your duty of talking to Ria about the problems that may arise out of this marriage, leave it to her to decide. Ofcourse, everyone of us is going to be affected by her decision one way or the other. For now, let us be positive and assume that all's going to be well. And if it goes the other way round, let us all console ourselves that it was in our Karma to undergo all this.There is no problem that cannot be resolved.Let us face the situation as and when it comes."
5. Let us not bother about gossip mongers.Once they have another sensational news, this would be forgotten. And they are not going to be there with us in our good and bad moments.
6. "And last of all,I don't think Nisha's marriage should be a cause of worry. Nowadays a lot of people have become broad-minded and would not make Ria's marriage to a foreigner a big issue. Moreover,these days,most people have this type of marriages in their own families and would not like to point an accusing finger at others. Or the second proposition would be to convince Ria to postpone her marriage till Nisha's as she would be overwhelmed with your consent to her marriage proposal and would willingly agree to give some happiness to you by acceding to your request."

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Dear Geetha,
Hearty congratulations!
Love,
Pushpavalli

Dear Sowmya,
Your entry also was equally good. Do participate in every contest. I really enjoyed your entry. Really the judges had a tough job. I think that's why the result was delayed for some time.
Love,
Pushpavalli