"Celebrate Freedom" Contest - August 2009

yes ami well said , first when i read the contest title and the note that followed , there was a small point that grabbed my attention
"letting yourself forget how the hubby and kids are doing"..........
in any of freedom i would like to include my dh and kid .... even if physically i would be free and enjoying ,, emotionally i would be tied up....

hi knot2share


thank you very much for your FB. Yes it is called alternative therapy . thank you once again for wishing me.

bars62

Dear Ami

gr8. we always stop enjoying our present cause we keep running on to the other side. And when we are on the other side we start missing our past. We start realising that it was not that bad. And guess what we do in the process, we again stop enjoying our present.

Same goes with the freedom , when we are in school , we want to be in college. When we reach there we want to be working. After that marriage and after we have kids, we want to be kids again.

Such carefree days they were. after reading your article , i am making a concisious effort to live in the present.


I am new to this community and am loving it.

jyoti

Knot2Share: Ami - nicely written dear ! Your experiences at different stages of your life...After many years when we look back at such incidents, some of them seem so insignificant now. I guess what elders say is right that everything happens for a reason !

Hi dear thanks for your fb Yes everything does happen for a reason and that reason is to let us know hoe to live our life in a more lovely and great way,right?

Yes jils even when we are enjoying with our friends or having a time of our own we would love to think abotu them and will be mostly worrying how are they doingthank for your fb dear

Dear Jyoti thanks for fb, wow!! am overwhelmed when you said my post has inspired you to live in present...there is a saying "we can't do anything about our past and with our future ,we can only live our present to the fullest"..So enjoy each moment of life

Freedom is the right to do whatever one wants to do, without hurting anybody.
In my childhood, I was a real tomboy, playing cricket with my cousin and his friends, staying out even after sunset, going to river to have a swim, jumping down from the terrace on to the sunshade to hide-these are some of the things I used to do. Mind you, the year was the late 70’s when girls were expected to be coy and shy all the time and walk slowly and speak softly. I was the opposite.
My mother is a very orthodox person, she is even now. She had specific ideas about what a girl should do and should not do. This interfered with my ideas in life and I had a tough time doing things I liked.
One of them is riding a bicycle. I used to rent out a cycle from a nearby shop with my cousin’s help and along with his gang I would ride the cycle. My mother would get wild when she gets to know about it and all hell would break loose. Above this, 2 of my elder brothers too resented my riding escapades. But I went on to ride the bicycle well and I was the first girl in our colony, may be in Trivandrum itself, to ride a cycle.
Later on, many of my peers too joined in learning to ride the cycle. But there was none to equal me. I wanted to commute to school by cycle and I pestered my mother to get me a cycle. But due to her strong believes and financial constraint, my mother denied flatly.
After my marriage and relocation to Chennai, my riding craze was back. I got myself a second hand cycle to commute between home and the railway station. From the railway station, I have to travel for 30 minutes in a local train to reach office.
My husband planned to buy a two wheeler 3 years after our marriage. I tried to convince him to buy a auto gear vehicle so that I too could ride. (I found the geared one difficult to handle due to my shortness). But he was too heartless to oblige to my fancy. I was waiting for a chance in my life to ride a scooter. In the meantime, I had my son and my FIL gave away my cycle to his grand daughter, without my knowledge. I was really heart broken to lose my cycle. I tried many times to buy a 2 wheeler, but that was squashed by many unfavourable circumstances.
After a decade of pestering, my husband decided to get me a Scooty, as he had bought a second hand car. We exchanged the old scooter and bought a new Scooty, in my name too. I was very happy to ride it and felt that I have a pair of wings. I still feel the same, though I am riding the Scooty now for the past 9 years. I feel very independent and free when I can travel long distances without waiting for bus or auto. I need not take my husband’s help too, I know Chennai like the palm of my hand. When I ride in good speed on the Mount Road or any important road, I feel so free and happy. We have a new Maruti now but I am not interested in learning to drive it. I am very much happy with my Scooty, which had become my wings. I go to all IL meets in the scooter and my friends are apprehensive that I am driving the long distance (my home is nearly 20 kms from the city). But I feel I have my freedom when I drive the Scooty.

Right from my childhood, I felt that I was not loved. My feelings were never understood. I searched for love from where i could never get. I became bitter and revengeful. I disliked my parents for never showering all the love I deserved. They were, I felt, preoccupied with my sister and brother. I started living with anger and hatred in my heart.
Whenever I had a fight with my sister my parents used to tell me that I should listen to her as she was elder to me.
When my brother used to fight with me, they used to support him as he was younger than me. I felt so left out. I was an unwanted one, unloved and uncared in the midst of all. I gradually started avoiding people and fell into the deep dungeon of loneliness. Even after my marriage which of course was an arranged one,without my consent, I was not spared. My sister took every opportunity to criticize me and she had the silent support of my parents and brother. I was so depressed that my husband feared I would not survive. He supported me as much as he could but I was
already a mental wreck. I became disinterested in my daily chores and neglected my family and myself. I even didn't bother to comb my hair for days. My hubby started buying books for me and I slowly started developing the habit of reading books. But I was still not happy. I felt god had been very cruel to me. I could not find answers to my questions anywhere.
One fine day I finally got the book that changed my life. This book titled,’ Healthy Mind, Healthy Body" from Sri Ramakrishna Math answered most of my questions. I had also started practicing yogasanas and meditation. All these helped me a lot. I gradually got transformed from within. I realized that the vices I saw in others were possibly within me. I was to some extent responsible for my condition. Negative thoughts and destructive emotions in us, especially hatred, destroy our health and mind. When we practice yoga we will replace all the negative emotions with positive and constructive emotions like love, pity, mercy, generosity and peace.
Life has now become more beautiful for me. I now realize that real happiness can be attained when we set our soul free from negative thoughts and emotions and not from any external sources. We should not blame others for not giving us the love, respect and happiness that we desire or think we deserve. Reading books, practicing yoga, asanas and meditation, although do not eliminate all our difficulties and miseries, definitely help in making us mentally strong and also enhance our sense of control. They develop our inner strength.
I have found the key to my misery:
"Forgiveness" .I am no more a slave of circumstances.
I have freed my soul .freedom at last! Cheers to me!!!
My heart is singing one of my favorite songs:
I’m born again, I feel free……

Hi Varalekshmy - Enjoyed reading your post. I have always admired women on two wheelers - right from the Kinetic Honda days. Still can't figure out what it is.......I have never been able to achieve that. Just watching them ride the Kinectic Honda used to give me a thrill and keep wondering how nice it would be to sit on that and ride away ! Scooty looks a bit more trimmer and smarter.
I totally envy you riding around Madras like this ..... Have fun and take care.


Hi Raji - You have had a very trying and eye-opening experience in life. The joy of Freedom in its truest sense is what you are experiencing now. Very happy for you. Yoga/Meditation/Reading will certainly help you, like you said. Please continue to do so. Thank you so much for sharing what you have gone through and kudos to you for coming out of the dungeon. The book presented itself at the right time ............ Take care.

Hi moderators!

I just saw the Topic of the month Contest and I'd really like to participate. Since this is the first time I'm going to be a part of any contest on IL, I have a few questions about the rules. I searched and also went through the previous contest threads, but did not find satisfactory answers.

My questions are:

1. Is there a limit to the length of the article to be submitted (Upper and lower limit)?

2. Who is on the panel of judges?

3. What exactly will the the article be judged for? Will the judges give more importance to content (individuality of ideas or experiences) or presentation (including grammar and punctuation)?

4. Why was the PM method discontinued for submitting articles? I think it was a good idea.

I hope this is the right place for my questions and that they will be answered soon so I can begin writing my article for the contest!

Thanks
Jyothi

Originally Posted by knot2share

Hi Varalekshmy - Enjoyed reading your post. I have always admired women on two wheelers - right from the Kinetic Honda days. Still can't figure out what it is.......I have never been able to achieve that. Just watching them ride the Kinectic Honda used to give me a thrill and keep wondering how nice it would be to sit on that and ride away ! Scooty looks a bit more trimmer and smarter.
I totally envy you riding around Madras like this ..... Have fun and take care.


Hi Raji - You have had a very trying and eye-opening experience in life. The joy of Freedom in its truest sense is what you are experiencing now. Very happy for you. Yoga/Meditation/Reading will certainly help you, like you said. Please continue to do so. Thank you so much for sharing what you have gone through and kudos to you for coming out of the dungeon. The book presented itself at the right time ............ Take care.

dear knot2share
thank you for your FB and the compliments. really, i feel so light after sharing my experience. life is full of challenges.along with books,yoga and meditation,it was my DH who helped me a lot. i finally had the courage to share my experience. i pray to god to make parents more humane and treat all their children alike. the damage that they do in seconds takes ages to repair. thankyou once again

Originally Posted by knot2share

After I had completed my 12th standard, I had joined a college and enrolled into B.Sc Physics. I was very happy and felt proud to be going to college. Had heard many stories from cousins about how they enjoyed during college days etc and was hoping to experience something similar. Also Physics used to be my favourite subject as well. So I was all looking forward to my college life and hostel life. I was excited about the fact that I would be away from my parents and could have fun.

But this was all short lived. The college life was not exciting as I had imagined. The hostel life was even worse than a prison. The warden was very strict with everything. They kept drilling the fact that we are all girls and had to behave in certain ways and keep certain behaviours up etc etc. The only good thing I had enjoyed about the hostel life was that at 10pm sharp, the lights in every room had to go OFF ! which meant I could go to sleep . All the rest was very regimental. Even when parents came to visit their children, it was soooo difficult to go and see them. Sometimes even impossible. We used to have a hefty looking lady at the gates keeping an eye and would never let any of us walk beyond the hostel gate.

All these strict rules were getting on my nerves and I missed home on top of that to make things worse. One day, I had a message saying that my parents had come to the college to see me and also to speak to the Principal. I was not sure what the scenario was. Managed to sneak through the side and go see my parents. My dad showed me a piece of letter that had come in the mail addressed to me. It was an admission letter to an Engineering College in Madras !! My joy knew no bounds at that point. Not for getting admission in an Engg College, but for the fact that I would be out of that horrible hostel. I did not have to think twice and said YES without waiting for my parents to say anything.

So at the end of 4 months, I found myself on a train journey that took me to Madras - a city. I had never been and lived in a city till then. It was a complete new experience for me. The life I had embarked upon in Madras was full of freedom, but was a life changing experience for me. I learnt to be responsible, appreciated the value of money, realised what it is that my parents are going through to put me in a college/hostel, enjoyed my hostel and college life like any other person, had my share of all sorts of experiences. It was freedom with a life changing lesson that I will never forget.

hi
very inspiring write up. you are lucky to have such encouraging and caring parents.good luck.