Please Advice with my 4 year old

I work and have own house and a mom of 4 year and 10 month old.
Like any mom my kids are my priority.My 4 year old son is super sensitive and gets attached to people easily.My mom was here with me until 1 month back to help with my delivary and stuff , when my was here I asked my son few times to stay home atleat few days in a week with the intention os saving some $$$$ . He said NO NO i wanna go school so I let him go as he wants to .
A week after my mom left am seeing a strange behaviour in his behaviour ...he keeps nagging for evevrything.literally eating one small daso for an hour.kepps saying he do not want to go to school .exspecially handling both the kids in the morning is getting too hectic , infant eats fast and well but keeps asking to hold her up , my som wakes up at 7:30 , drinks 6oz of milk for 30 mins ( followed by my shouting and somtimes I end up hitting him) , brush , shower and dressing up for 30 mins and next 1 hr for break fast and I leave to work late at 9:30 .
While my H is helping me to give shower to old one I feed to younger one.

My son do not touch the food in the school , his teacher complains about that .90% of the times he trashes it.since he do not eat lunch I suppose he will be hungry when i pick him up................NO NO it's again same nagging after comming home.


He used to be like that even before but since he was only one I had all the time to spend with him .With two now am loosing balance.Am literally crying evevryday for my bahaviour with him ....

On week ends my BIL family visits us ...he seems little better that ...so am thinking he might be missing people.But how would I manage with him during the weeks.I can't let him go hungry.

Guys I know am gonna get some harsh comments here ...................please do suggests how to deal and balance my life .....


Afetr my son started nagging that he do not want to go to school I even took vacation days alternate days in a week for 2 weeks to see if anything changes ........day by days it's getting worse...I know my bahaviour is not halping either.....I ust want him to eat
I do not over feed him either
morning: milk and BF
Afternoon;
School
Evevning : milk and snack and at last dinner

I believe he needs atleast that to keep him growing.Sorry for very long post

Dear Divya,

I am sorry for the struggle you are facing , I can understand how frustrating it will be for mom when kids dont eat properly. I am also sailing on same boat as yours but I have only one kid who is 5 year old. My son also very inactive in the morning times and takes hell lot of time for each task, he doesn't want to mix cereal and milk and wants them seperately and takes his own time for each , and very picky in eating during breakfast or lunch.


I too get frustrated sometimes and thus I try these tricks ,

1. Tell him that you will buy daily one gift for him if he finishes his breakfast and lunch fast( you can buy dollar items as promised , it works for some time)

2. Tell him he will get one sticker each day for finishing breakfast and lunch and after finishing 10 stickers he will get favourite toy. keep asking him which toy he wants to buy next time, that will encourage him.

3. Tell him you will take to his favourite places on weekends when he finishes the food.

4. tell him he will get gummy bears or candy each time he finishes food fast.

5. When feeding curry or dal with rice I sometimes keep fried vadiya(papads etc.) , I tell him, one turn rice and one turn vadiya, that way my son shows some interest.

What I found is the more we get frustrated and shout on them, the more they get stubborn and dont change.

we have to be very patient, relax, find methods to encourage them, give him choice what he likes to eat, even if he eats small amount of what he likes ,that is good.

Take him with you to grocery shopping and ask him what cereal, cereal bars, yogurt with gems toppings , squeeze yogurt he want to buy for himself, that way we can initiate interest in them eating.

Lets see what other ladies suggest on this.

Sujatha.

If you are making dosa/roti make funny shapes like moon/star/his name or his favourite thing. Atleast for some time, he would show some interest.

But there are kids who would say that they want like this/that while making but when you hand it to them in a plate, they would just smile, talk stories @ the shape so nice yet wont eat.That is really frustrating.

You need extra patience.Good Luck!!