1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

kid never eats by her own

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by paru, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. paru

    paru New IL'ite

    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    hello ladies,

    i have a 3.5 yr old kid. She never eats by her own. Can you suggest me some tips.
    Iam planning to put her in daycare as iam planning to start working. But this issue of not eating by her own bothers me a lot.

    Thanks,
    Paru
     
    Loading...

  2. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Paru,

    Has she never tried eating by herself or stopped off-late? Sometimes we mothers are so bothered about the mess they create when eating on their own. So we feed them for that reason and also to make sure they eat well. This kind of discourages the child. For example i let my son eat his food since he was 8 months old while i was feeding him. Then when he could handle the spoon well i let him eat by himself despite the mess and quantity. Now he's 3 yrs+ and will not let us feed him. We never shouted at him for the mess.. that's very very important for the kid to enjoy the process.

    And also many kids who expect to be spoon-fed at home eat by themselves at day care motivated by their peers. So don't worry about that.

    Latha
     
  3. Aadhusmom

    Aadhusmom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,015
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Paru - Sorry to hijack your thread.

    Latha - question for you. When and how did you get Aniish to eat rice by himself? Aadhu has just started eating idli/dosa by himself - about half his dinner only so far, rest I have to give. I was wondering how to start self-feeding for rice.

    Vanathi.
     
  4. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Vanathi,

    Well to start the story.. i started giving aniish semi-solids i.e. pureed veg, fruits when he was 5 1/2 months. Then i progressed to oats, wheat cereals (basically whatever was available here). I didn't have grinder then so i didn't make idli, dosai. I used to give him a spoon since he showed interest in feeding and make his cereals thick enough for him to scoop easily. I also gave him ready-made pasta (bottled) whenever we went out on trips. Then somewhere between 9-10 months i started giving kichdi with veges. This too he used to eat by himself and ofcourse paruppu saadam with little bit of rasam.

    Basically what i'm trying to say is rice given to him was more like porridge so he had no trouble eating them himself. And when i say this we followed 2 spoons method... one spoon i had to 'feed' him while with his own spoon he learnt to 'feed'. When we went home for his 1st birthday (i went a week before he was 1) mom used to put rasam rice, veges on a plate and he ate by himself (i mean here with hands). Ofcourse most of the food would go to the table. Around this time i stopped feeding him from that plate and instead let him experiment by himself (also he was introduced to idli, dosai only now). After an hour or so i gave him food again and he would eat it (here 2 spoons method). Gradually when he was 1 year and 3 months (the time i returned to Germany after our vacation) he ate self.

    But only when he was 2 he could master the art of no mess with spoon. Even now if the rice is loosely blend he does spill around. I don't know how long it'll take for him to eat perfectly like us... i'm guessing with regular practice atleast another 3 years:( Oh I must add that this time when parents were here, amma taught him to mix rice and rasam or curd by himself. He loves this new game and is busy with that. I have bought a 'kuzhi thattu' to encourage him with veges as well (no improvement though!)

    I do hope i'm remembering the details well! looks like for ananya i need to read IL thoroughly:hide:

    Latha
     
  5. Aadhusmom

    Aadhusmom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,015
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks so much Latha. I gave him his own spoon for breakfast today (cornflakes) and it was a terrific mess but by the end of the meal he started getting the hang of it so I think I will keep trying at breakfast for a few weeks and then lunch after that. Is it easier to eat rice with a spoon or hand? What do you think?

    Vanathi.
     
  6. dsrini

    dsrini Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    520
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks Latha for the tips. Vanathi good to know that Aadhu started eating on his own. I haven't tried this till now.(I know I am very lazy in this area). But definitely will start with these tips.

    Thanks once again.

    Paru, I hope lata's tips help u.

    Dhivya
     
  7. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Vanathy,

    From 'cleaning up after food', rice served in bowl with spoon is best:idea. So I always gave like that until we landed at my il's place for his 1st birthday. Though my fil was proud that his peran handled the spoon efficiently he was annoyed that we haven't yet taught him 'indian manners'. So i woke up and while at my parents place (for 2 months... luxury, luxury!) my mom, as i said, let him spill etc., and sort of trained him to eat from a plate and with hands. She told me unless i let him do that he'll never get a hang of co-ordinating his fingers. that's so very true. I must train him to use cutleries because of the culture we live at present.

    Also i must say that when we have family meals on week-ends he'll not eat from spoon, even if i insist, because he watches us eat with hands. And mixed rice such as lemon rice, pulao that are grainy and separate misses his little fingers often but he's much much better at it now. Earlier he also used to get confused, when we eat outside, and would use his fingers to scoop up anything that refuses to oblige the fork or spoon. But now he clearly knows he must use hands only at home or with indian food.

    Oh God.. what all we have to pay attention to! Coming to think of it i was even telling DH last night that i (and as a matter of fact he himself) learnt to use fork and knife properly only in my late 20's:hide:

    Latha
     
  8. Aadhusmom

    Aadhusmom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,015
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks Latha. I was thinking the same thing - that its probably easier to eat rice with a spoon but since I live in India its going to be considered very "odd" if he doesnt eat with his hands. I think I'll go with hand-eating and see how he does. He's getting better with a spoon now after only 2 days - amazing how fast they learn if only we werent so lazy abt clean-up :) Eating with a fork/knife/spoon doesnt feel like real eating to me even now when I'm reasonably competent!

    Vanathi.
     
  9. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi vanathi,

    same here.. i hate to eat indian food with fork/spoon. i personally feel apart from the dish itself our fingers lend a good flavour as well:) as my friend said it's not only the mess that we're worried about... it's also that we want the best for our first-borns (first time mom anxiety) and hence we wish that they're perfect in anything.... from how much they eat to how they eat etc., i'm sure with Ananya i'll be super cool and that itself makes all the tasks easy.
     
  10. paru

    paru New IL'ite

    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks Latha for the info. Will try and let you know..Seems it needs lot of patience.
     

Share This Page