Delay in speech

Hi,

My two year old son hasn't started speaking as yet except for few words like mama, papa, thatha, taxi, thnx. But he understands what we speak. My friend's son has not even completed 2 yrs but started telling slokas, rhymes and speaks nicely. I'm very worried. Can someone tell me if there is any problem with my child

Hi Kalpsadit,

My nephew had the same problem. He started speaking one or two words only when he completed 3 years. My sis actually took him to an ENT specialist and Psychiatrist to check and see if something is bothering him from trying to speak. But it was found everything was normal with him and they said generally boys start talking little late compared to girls. (Now do you understand why girls are said to be talkative? ).

It is adviced that we keep talking to the kids normally irrespective of whether they understand everything or reply back. We should not make sounds like them in response to the sounds they make or broken words they utter.

Don't worry, your son will soon start talking to the extent of you saying 'Shhhhh...quiet'. Good luck.

K.

thnx kanmani, ur words are really comforting me. Infact till I met my friend's son, I didn't worry much bcos my son is active in all the other aspects. I look forward to him speaking soon. thnx once again

hi Kalpsadit,

Like Kanmani said, it is very common for boys. My nephew too was like your son. My sister too took him to all specialists. The doctors asked my sister to make my nephew ask questions. Don't give anything (food, toys etc) until he asks. when he wants something... he points at it... pretend you don't understand what he wants. Make him express himself in words. If he doesn't know the word, you can say it and ask him it that is what he wants. If he says yes, ask again what he wants. Make him repeat the words. This needs a lot of patience.

Communication is a way of expressing the thoughts. A child cries when it is hungry. If you give the milk before it cries, why will the child cry? If everything runs smoothly why do they need to talk? The same applies to your son.

Hope this helps..
Sharada

Dear Kalpsadit,

I can fully understand your anxiety about your son not talking. But as you say he understands all that you say and even says some basic words, it is clear that he can hear and talk and is only a bit slow at it. You have now heard from others that it has happened to their little ones too and there is nothing to fear. I wish all the best of health and happiness to your son who will soon talk and you will start wishing that he would keep quiet for a minute!
Just remember, don't rush him on this and take it easy and don't act with anxiety. The more you push, the less will he react. Be laid back and go about it normally. A child feels the anxiety of a mother intuitively.

L, Kamla

Dear Kalpsadit,

I fully understand ur concern. I too had gone through the same situation and use to be worried. My son is 3 years old now, and has started on sentences now. Don't worry, its only matter of time, ur son will also start talking well.

My son started only amma, appa when he was 2. I can't explain how worried i was, as u say, i use to worry more when i see other smaller kids talking and singing well. One thing i have learn the hard way, never and ever compare the children. Even siblings of the same family differ so much. Every child is unique.

All the best,
subha

Hi,
I can understand your concern. And I can tell you very clearly that you are to be blamed. You as a mother need to have been keep on talking talking and talking with him. Talk a lot. Allow him to talk. Make him ask for things he want. Dont just allow him to watch TV for a long time. Instead take some books and read him alphabets and connecting words and encourage him to repeat them. Teach him more words and help him to repeat those words and form sentences.

Sorry if I am a bit harsh.

oh please don't compare with other children. each child is different. My boy is 33 months old and only now trying to form sentences while some boys of his age in the nursery speak fluently. Initially I was worried too but i find that he understands and tries to repeat so that's about it. I have also told my parents and in-laws strictly not to pressurise me asking everytime 'why is he not telling abc etc.,'. children live in their own worlds and often we underestimate them. you'll be surprised when he will suddenly start talking more. just keep talking to him and he's absorbing everything and one day will pour out:) cheer up!

dear friends,
my son is 38 mths old & it is only after completing 2 yrs that he stated single words,thou he used to say mummy,papa when he was 14-15 mths old.well,i was very worried & as traveller says the pressure from relatives was tremendeous .my MIL has raised 4 kids of her own ,then 5 grand childrens &seen many kids of relatives but she used to always irritate me with same question as has he stared to speak or not.
she even suggested we get an operation done on his tongue which cuts some thread which is under the tongue.

of course i refused.but the pressure was immense.though ,my MIL is a caring ,loving woman but somehow i could not help being angry with her over this issue.i guess i wanted support & maybe assurance but all i got was more worry.

dear pragati, after reading your post i could very well feel the kind of guilt i went thro' (i've calmed down a lot in the past few months!). i thought because of living away from family my son wasn't picking up the language (here he hears tamil only at home, english not so often outside and only german outside). but then my husband is very supportive...he always told me that i'm failing to enjoy the present stage. so now i don't care much if people ask me about his talking abilities. i'm infact proud that he's got the opportunity to learn a foreign language at such an young age. but in the last week i also realised another thing. i've been singing english rhymes to him ever since he was 8 months old or something. now suddenly last week he started to sing twinkle, twinkle little star. i'm on cloud nine. as my husband says we always underestimate a child's capability. he's been storing in his little mind all things i told him, sang to him and now he's developing the ability to show them out... not just the rhyme but also many words. i think as parents we just need to be patient:) The child has his entire life to learn all these bookish things. right now is the phase for them to learn the outside world, experience little pleasures, enjoy nature, hear the sounds, see the beautiful things around us. i think this is the right age to initiate them into appreciating all these little aspects and also show them discipline and priniciples. the rest they'll learn when the time comes:) imagine once they start proper school, with homework,activities they'll not have time for all these things! Latha