Help with weaning a VERY attached son

papoosh · Jul 25, 2014

Hi All,

My son will turn two in September. We co-sleep and I breastfeed him to sleep. I now plan to wean him at 2 years and am looking for suggestions to do it.

I did the "don't offer, don't refuse" routine, but knowing my son he wasn't going to wean himself very easily. So, i have now started refusing to nurse when he asks for it unless it is nap time or bed time. The good thing is that once he is asleep, I can leave the bed and he would continue sleeping/self soothe/have my husband shush him back to sleep-as long as he is in our bed. If I am in the bed however, it seems like he can smell me even from afar so every time he wakes up I need to feed him. If we put him in his crib, he wakes up crying all the time so it hasn't been a place for sleep for him. He doesn't mind the crib for play and discipline though.

I have tried increasing his cow's milk intake, but the moment he caught on that it was a substitute for the breast, he refused milk completely.

Coming to sleep routines, both my husband and I are not fans of any method that involves crying so ferber and all its variations are out the window for us. I do have a bedtime routine in place for him in place so much so that now whenever he is sleepy he himself will start his winding down routine..which will end with me nursing him no matter what.

The only place he will sleep without nursing is in the car seat or stroller if he is tired. We tried that for a while but he wakes up as soon as we take him out of it.

Lastly,am not sure how much telling him he needs to not nurse will work since he still doesn't talk. He understands instructions perfectly and manages to communicate things that he wants..its just the making of words that he is still getting around. However, since we are still not talking in words, I am not sure speaking to him about the nursing will work? I could be wrong though...

He is generally a very easy going kid..except that he gets very upset (understandably so) when I try to refuse to nurse him to sleep..

Thanks so much for reading and any advice you might have...

anmolhai · Jul 25, 2014

I weaned my dd when she was 2 yrs old and it was not easy. I applied some dark color thing which was bitter ( even applied karela juice) and she would cry when she couldn't feed bm. I also increased her solid food intake. It was not easy but I stick to it and finally succeeded.
All the best

Chapra · Jul 25, 2014

Dear papoosh, I have not dropped in to give you suggestions but to get information w.r.t weaning.

My second DD is 20 months old and am facing the same issue. I need to nurse her to put her to sleep and every two hours, she wakes up and nurses as we co-sleep. Oflate, things have become worse, wherein, whenever I sit in crossed legs position , she demands for milk as its her nursing position

Will wait for more replies from our IL friends.

Chapra

yellowmango · Jul 25, 2014

Slowly try to get your husband to put him to sleep.You can try rubbing karela juice...it works for some...it didn't for me.If you sleep together...make your husband sleep between you and the baby...baby will try to look for boobs on your husband in sleep:rotfland you can have a good laugh.You can try having a shower after he sleeps .

Laks09 · Jul 25, 2014

My older one self weaned at 27 months. I did the don't offer don't refuse method to encourage her. With my son, at 27 months he was not showing signs of slowing down so I just weaned cold turkey. Big mistake. He was not ready at all. Both if us were miserable for four weeks.
My DD always nursed to sleep. What I did was slowly stopped the night nursing and nursing to sleep. I continued the day time for another couple of months. For night weaning. I had to get DH to put her to bed and stay with her and soothe her. Surprisingly, when he followed her bedtime routine - bath, story and cuddles, she was fine going to bed without nursing. I started sleeping in the guest room. She started sleeping thru the night very early so I didn't have to do too much of night weaning.
During the daytime nap, I just continued nursing her until she stopped asking.
I preferred night weaning first because I felt that would help her self wean and I was right. She didn't cry at all though. Not even once to nurse to sleep when my DH put her to bed. Very soon afterwards she transitioned to a toddler be and then into her own room.

Hth,
L