Help.. my toddler refuses to go to nursery

Hi Friends,

My 3 yr old has just started her nursery beginning of this month. It been almost 20 days now.

But she still cries each morning when we take her to school.

There was barely a week when she went in good mood..But rest of the days she is always in tears.

I keep her uniform & bag ready at night.. the mere sight is enough for her to start sobbing..

Sometimes in the midle of the night while in deep sleep she says " I dont want to go to school"

Just yesterday at the park, one of my friends mentioned school to her & she started crying.

There is a bus transport what we have arranged for her, but she doesn't like to travel by bus.

She wants us to drop & pick her each day, which is actually not possible.

Bcoz of her tantrums, each day I arrive late at my office & face the wrath of my boss.

Pl I really need a soln to this problem.. am already at

Hi Daffodil,

I can understand your situation, but trust me most of the times its just that the kids have to adjust to this huge change of starting the school. With time they do adjust very well and then you will soon see her waving good bye with a big smile when she is off to school. Its just a matter of time.!

But to be sure, you must check regularly with your daughters teacher as to how she is when she is at school? Is she happy playing there with the other kids? If yes then theres nothing to worry. She is showing all the tantrum only in front of you and thats healthy believe me

For how many hours is she going to nursery? As per my experience about 5 hours should be more than enough for 3 year olds.. else they might get too tired. But i have known kids who go for 6/7 hrs also and they adjust.. Well each kid is different so depends...

May be its better to drop of and pick up yourself for may be a month or so and then slowly accustom her to bus when she adjusts to school... It can be a big comfort for child if atleast you can drop her..? Ofcourse it may not be feasible in all cases but just looking at the options to comfort your daughter.

You must have a meeting with your daughters teacher and discuss how she is when at school. Offer her to choose what she wants for snack box and all - something to make school look more of fun... just some ideas that came to my mind..

good luck!! i am sure she will be fine with school routine very soon.. so dont worry!

Manpreet

Hi Daffodil,

Oh dear... don't worry! I have seen some children getting adjusted from day one and some taking longer time in my son's nursery too. I want to understand few things:

1. Did you stay with her in the initial few days for 1/2 hr or so? In my son's nursery they've a settlement/adjustment phase where the parent(s) are required to be with the child 1/2-1 hr everyday for a week (that also depends on how soon the child gets used to saying bye). The first day i stay with him and the second day i'm in some other room but still in the nursery. What happened then with your girl?
2. Do you tell her like 'oh you must go to school today... mom has to go to work'? That'll pressurise the child. If yes try telling her that she'll get bored at home and so you're sending her to the nursery so she can make friends, play well, learn many things etc., That's what i do with my son even now (after 8 months) when there are days he refuses to go. And I tell him that i'll come soon to pick him up and we can read book etc.,
3. As Manpreet says talk to the people there... may be there is something she doesn't like in the nursery. Or if she's not crying there and playing well then there's some homework to do:)
4. Try to adjust your schedule a bit and leave her once in a while yourself. But tell her that it's more fun to go by bus.... they do understand even if it takes time. The more we reject their requests the more stubborn they get.

All the best... Latha

Hi daffodil,
Thers absolutely nothin to worry abt this..Its very common among the kids who start school..Ive noticed in my kid's school there was a girl who used to cry non-stop for the first full term(around 3 months)..From the second termshe was very cheeful..

I know hard it wud be to see our kids crying..But dont lose heart..She will eventualy get accustomed to it..
Just talk to her teacher abt this..Drop her if she doesnt like to go by bus(atleast initially)Cuz ive heard some kids r being bullied by older kids in school bus..Even due to tah reason she might develop hatred for school..

GL
Cheers
Ramya

Dear Manpreet, Traveller, Ramyanand,

Thank you ladies by those comforting words.

We are still dropping her & picking her from school. She is now OK with going to the school but doesn't want to travel by school bus.
The teachers say she is absolutely normal in the class..in fact everyday she has a new poem to tell me, or she will share what she did in school/what others did..
So I see this as a +ve ign.

Just hoping things get better with time.