Dont know wht attitude

HI..this is vahee

My 3yrs old daughter have an attitude like she does'nt like anyone to touch her or touch her toys , things etc. if they touch immed she wipes or rub it.and shows a aversion face towards them..if i talk to my frnds she close my mouth still if i did'nt stop talking she is trying to wipe my mouth.. i really dont know how to handle...i tried all possible ways ..even by hitting her...but no use..so pls tell me a solution how to handle ...

Congratulations Vahee ,
Your kid is absolutely normal and is behaving like one. Most kids of this age behave this way. Its called AST or Attention Seeking Trait. They need your constant attention and will not tolerate it deviating from them on to other things. As far as her other so called problems are concerned , each kid is dfferent , some like sharing, some dont . Yes you could encourage her all the time . But with time you'll see a lot of behavioural changes. Dont be very anxious dear ! she just a toddler. Let her enjoy her childhood and you enjoy it too. There will come a time when you will reminisce these times and smile.

Love,
Devika

Hi dear vahee,
Though i am not matured enough to guide you on this,but still i suggest some of the known facts which may atleast alleviate the situation a bit.


1) Since your daughter is only three years old it is high time you take any steps to change her.Because only when we impart or teach in the small age itself ,we can make them learn from the begining itself. So it is right that u have attended now.

2)I think your daughter is very possesive abt herself and you(parents) and her things that is why she is not able to tolerate when somebody speaks to u or takes her things.Generally many kids do not allow others to touch their belongings.It is a general behavior of kids.Hence i feel you can atleast liberalise this aspect.But not encourage it.Moreover hitting a child makes the situation even worse.Never do that.As a first step encourage friendly movements with her.This will make her to listen to your words.

3)You have specified various problems ranging from not allowing to touch her toys till being possesive with u.So start attending priority wise.As i said earlier ,generally any kid is possesive abt her toys.Since your child is over possesive she does not allow anybody to touch her or speak to her.This can be solved later.Because this is a normal issue.So going more specific towards the problem when she tries to make you not to speak with others,tell her the positive aspects of moving friendly with others.Though she is too young to listen,u can atleast make her feel that they like her so much,they buy toys for her,they do have a children which u can mingle with them.Try to teach her the habit of sharing by giving her the assurance that they will share in return.Make her feel while u are young u always play with others,share with others,mingle with others.Though we cannot expect a change overnight,but we can try to change her attitude step by step.


WE MUST TRY TO CHANGE HER ATTITUDE NOT HER BEHAVIOR.


4)U did not mention whether she allowed u to touch her belongings.If it is yes ,then no problem.Then again by insisting her step by step the benefits of sharing,playing etc.


I AGAIN INSIST THAT DON'T PUNISH YOUR CHILD OR NEVER BE HARSH WITH HER.FIRST AND FOREMOST BE A FRIEND WITH HER.


Like wise imbibe in her friendly movements .

5) Take her to some family get togethers, ur neighbouring kids' birthday parties and make her to watch how other kids share their birthday gifts,chacolates .This may bring a little change in your kid.

I hope i have thrown some shade on the situation...

Take care
BC

Thx devika...its soothing..coz i was so much worried...that to when i hit her..coz this...



Bhargavi...as ur tips were good... she allows me to touch her toys...first child so over possesive towards we both.. we try our level best not to hit.bubt loose patience when she does in front of others...

Vahee,

As bargavi said I am not mature enough.. from what I know.. :) I am sharing it here.. hope it helps...

It's normal for a kid not to share toys with others.. so don;t panic.. Is she the only child now? If so, then that would explain her not sharing.. usually with siblings they tend to develop this characters themselves.

There might be some sort of insecurity in her, that might have led to this over-possessiveness.

I would suggest you not to panic .. but just continue with your efforts in encouraging her to share through play, stories and examples. Make it a habit to read her stories before going to bed. Tell her good moral stories mostly about how they share and how give and take works and all that.. panchathantra stories might work !! As bargavi said.. its the right time you should start working on her mentally because my patti used to say " kids at this age till 10-12 are like clay. Its upto the parents how to mould them to be a better person. So just dont be laid back.. but try to teach her something. Also, you can do something like this. reward her for any attempt at sharing. This will make her understand that sharing is a good thing. Finally, have patience :) Your patience is the only one, that will help her through this change.