Getting Back To Work- Need Advice

Hi priya,
I too was like you 2 months back, i stayed at home for 2 years looking after my son before I started working again in February. I live in Sharjah, so i know how difficult it is for working mothers in UAE.
My son and I was too attached to each other, that he used to cry even if I left him to go to the bathroom.. He wouldnot even go to my husband if i am around. But seeing him now, i feel that i should have gone for work a lot earlier. Not only is my son more confident, he is not attached to me anymore, he has got a good relation with my husband and my MIL also. Within 2 months he learned to feed himself, his vocabulry has increased so much and he is more playful and imaginative now.
Priya, now that you have decided to go for work, the first thing you should do is to find a good nursery/day care for your son. I sent my son to "Smiley Kids " nursery in Sharjah. I started calling up different nurseries in December( even before i started sending CVs) because i wanted him to be comfortable with his nursery before i started going to work. This nursery is a regular nursery from 9 to 1, but they will look after the kids from 7 am to 6 pm. There are many children who comes at 7 and leave at 6pm.
You can search for a nursery like that so that even after nursery time, he will be looked after well. I too personally don't like leaving the kid with a maid and baby sitter alone at home.
Once you have decided which nursery to send him to, you have to go with baby for somedays. I must confess here, that i went with him for one whole week, which was a bit too much. On the first day, he wouldn't get down from my hand, and screamed everytime I tried to put him down. The next 2 days i stayed till his breakfast was over and left soon after that. I could hear him screaming and calling for me. But somehow, i had made up my mind to be brave. I sat outside the nursery and cried for sometime. Meanwhile, he slept after crying for sometime. For the next 2 days i just put him in the nursery van, and waved bye bye, while he screamed and tried to jump from the supervisor's hand, and I saw him only in the afternoon when he came back. So totally I spent 5 days for the "introduction to the nursery".
Right now, I have my MIL here with us so he goes only for the 9-1 session, but soon i will send him the whole day.
Don't worry about what they eat, because once they are in a group kids will eat just to keep company with others.Mmy son was a very picky eater. He doesn't eat fish, meat, egg and the only milk he drinks is mine!!!!! But now, he is a lot better, at least he is eating little of what i sent for him. I have to pack breakfast and lunch for him right now.. Even after he comes home, he doen't eat much, so his main meal happens only after i get home by 7pm. But I assure you, he hasn't lost weight for the last 2 months, in fact now he has got a good habit of sitting on his chair and eating with spoon. Before that, mealtimes was a power struggle between me and him in front of the TV.
If you can , at least in the beginning try to get a job somewhere near your house. Since you are in AbuDhabi you won't have the problem of traffiic atleast. Even if your salary is not great just start with a job, which is OK with your kid's timetable. Later you can try and get a better job once he is settled.
About the house work, get a part time house maid and request your hubby to help you. And on weekends prepare ahead and keep all the dresses for you and your kid ironed and all.For some days tell your husband to adjust with the stuff you are preparing. Now, if my husband who works in Dubai reaches home before 8pm , i send both of them for a short "bye bye" so that i can finish more work by the time they come back. This way they too can have their own "men time".
Eventhough initially you will feel frustrated and tried( because working in an office is different from sitting at home full time), you will surely enjoy the freedom and space you will get for yourself.
Best of Luck ,
Anju

 

Hi Anu and Priya,
I was looking out for a baby sitter and day care in sharjah. I stay in Al wahda and recently got into a job. I couldnt locate any baby sitters around because of vacations so in an emergency asked my mom to come in. She will leave next month and i am franctically searching for a day care. Thats when i came to know about Smiley Kids.
Searching on google for details abt smiley kids i came across this site and your quotes. I really felt as this 2 messages were just for me. I am actually so depressed by the thought that i have to leave my kids with a babysitter or day care that i had actually thought of leaving the job.
Anu can you really recommend this nursery. Because i didnt find anybody in my circle having the any knowledge about this nursery. So would like to go on your word. If you give me a thumbs up sign, I would visit this nursery immediately and register my 2.7 year old son.i also have a 5 year old son. Will smiley kids keep him too?

Thanks
Regards
Varada

 

Hello Ladies,

I live in Fairfax, Virginia. We have a baby boy of 15 months old. We are now in the process of looking for a nice day care for him. The posts related to day care were very informative for us. Thanks ladies. It would be really nice if any one could help us in finding a good day care in and around fairfax.

Thanks
-Sri
Computer Typing

 

Hi Priya.. The Mommy guilt.. dont we all have this
Here is what my Great "working" mother told me, when I cried to her on the day I left my son in someone else's care:
-Think not you are doing this just for you...its also to ensure a secure future for the little one.
-The sooner you let him mingle.. the easier it will be for him.

You have been with him of 16 months, and trust me , you still will be with him may it be baby sitter or daycare. You will be working twice as much, because, when you were at home you just had to cook and feed and of course playing( thats no work)... now you have to cook/pack/plan/clean/drop/pick up and WORRY! So my dear, you will be doing a lot more as a working mother.
As for as his eating habits.. i dont know what job you do, but it will help if you trust just one meal from outside and change time around for the rest so u can feed, like breakfast before u leave and snack and dinner after u come back. If he is going to day care.. just be sure to ask questions , enquire about his day/food, how much he eats.. quantity not just what kind etc.
Then last but not the least... I doubt any of this will ever make you feel better till you see him grown up into a wonderful man.. till then we all live through the GUILT... my mom states she still feels she could do better.. I think she is just grrrreat..

 

Dear Varada,
Sorry for not replying earlier.. I am in India now, and I didn't get time to check out IL.

Yes, I would confidently recommend Smiley Kids for your son, because for the last 6 months, my son Rohan went there, and till now everything was fine.
I stay in Al Wadha near 2nd subway and Smiley Kids Van comes at 8 am in the morning. The only problem with them is that the transportation is available only till 4 pm and then you will have to make an arrangement to pick them up, if you are leaving the kid till 6 pm. All the rest it Ok. They will feed the kids, change the nappies in time, make them sleep ( not so much that they play in the n1ight while you sleep), give medicines if you ask them while they are sick etc. I am sure your kid will like it there, as he is almost 3 years old and will like to play there.
I am sorry, I don't know if they will keep your elder son there. But please do ask them. Usually they are very helpful in situations like this.

Their number is 06-5671799. By the way, when you call them , tell them that Rohan's mother recommended them to you, may be I'll get a discount for fees when i come back! Just kidding...

love,
Anju

 

sri

Based on your post you are very close to faircity mall . On mainstreet we have kindergarden which is really a good one .

Thanks
Hima