Beginnning to teach a toddler!

Dear all

My son is now 3 yrs and 4 mnths.He is able to identify all alphabets and and say them too and he is able to tell numbers till about 10.He does not enjoy writing much and frankly I don't force him to do it either.He sometimes blabbers some rhymes like Ring-O-Ring roses,Twinkle Twinkle ,Humpty dumpty etc.

I firmly believe that a child should not be goaded or forced to learn at such a young stage.When I hear from other parents that their child is writing alphabets and even some words, or even can say two to three examples of words starting with A,B etc,sometimes I feel sad that maybe I am not trying too much with my son.Sometimes,I get angry with the other parents for forcing their children too much.

I have always heard that Indian parents usually expect their children to outperform the others and that their expectations of their kids is a little too much.This is the general opinion among all the other communities and sometimes I tend to agree with them because I get to see many of our people doing it.

My nephew who is now going to be 6,could not identify or even tell any alphabet before he joined school.Infact he learnt everything from school.Now in his kindergarten class,he is one of the toppers!!

So when I get to see or even hear about parents of toddlers being anxious that their kid is not willing to learn (even before going to school) and that they are trying their best,I tend to get furious!! I feel that it is an unnecessary anxiety...come on,the world is not going to end tomorrow.Why are we putting our kids and putting ourselves into so much tension....why can't we take it a bit easy!

I am sure that our parents ,the earlier generation, was a better lot...they knew how to take it cool ...they never put us thru' this much pressure when we were kids...so why are we doing this to our kids?

Please put down your thoughts on this...Agree the world is changing and it is a competitive world...but should we rob our children of their innocent childhood!

Cheers

Hi Sunitha,

I agree most of what you have said. These days kids are overburdened to learn more than was / is expected for their age range. It is all because parents want to get their kids equally competitive.

I know one my neighbour sending her kids to the following classes during all the days in a week in addition to going to school:

Monday - Hindi class
Tuesday - Music class
Wednesday - Swimming class
Thursday - Kumon (Math & Science) class
Friday - Religious class (Slokas + Hindu culture)

You think those kids are free in the weekends??? No, they have got to do their Kumon assignments for the following week's class.

When I moved into the US and saw their kids going to so many classes, I did get worried that my son is going to stay back. So I started enquiring about these classes, asked a few Indian parents - why so many during the same year, can't we do it 1 or 2 every year, etc.? The response I got was they definitely need it for being competitive.

I have enquired whether American Parents do the same. But atleast what I came to know was, they do send their kids to classes but they are mostly extra-curricular and not much learning.

Now my son too is going to Kumon classes (belive me only Kumon). I put him into it because he knew a lots of Math & Science for his level that he learnt in India, while here it is again basics and he was getting a little bored. So I wanted him not to loose the skills he had already gained and wanted him to exercise it for which Kumon helps! But these Kumon classes are run fully depending on Indian parents & kids, I have seen not much American kids.

I speak to my people back in India, there even it is getting worse! Schools themselves overburden kids with piles of books to carry, tests, exams, extra-curricular periods, etc. Then they have UCMAS classes (similar to Kumon), singing, dance, swimming and more!

This most of the time leaves me thinking - 'What if we get back to India? Should my kid to go to classes to make himself competitive to pick-up with kids back in India when we return?".

I really don't have solid answers - Yes or No. I always end up in 'May be'!

I just poured down my thoughts here, Sunitha. Hope you don't feel like 'why did I post it?'

Sheeba

Here now, people living in the city area and children who go to prestigious schools go thro all these. But in our area, children select one or two hobbies which they develop may be three classes a week. They mostly touch every thing but never get skilled in them. Now in India, only marks count. Only if the child gets good marks, he will be able to get into prestigious institutions for higher studies. Even money can't buy seat in institutions like IIT. So people who are ambitious concentrate mainly on studies when the child is in the 9th standard. The next three years are really hectic. But that has become the norm now. Everywhere you go, merit only speaks.
One interesting survey results say that only Asian children work hard and study well and come up well in life. It had stated that Americans are mostly drop outs. But their education system gives lots of scope for the child to think and develop. Ours is mainly mugging up and writing that. We mostly fail to understand what we study, for us monetoty benefit should be there. We never do things because we like and love it. We study to get good jobs and earn good money and settle in life. In a way that is also needed. Without money, life will be miserable.
But now with the booming IT and BPO industries, almost all the branches of study have good prospects. Especailly Chennai is developing like anything. Just lt your child be, send him to some basic classes and you teach him the values of life in your own way. That will make him better in the long run. But if he has a special ability, do take good care to train him in that.All the best.
With warm wishes,
varloo

dear all,
i know it may look ridiculous if i say so, but has any parent thought that instead of teaching a child to start with a salary as 50,000/=so make him ready for that...not knowing whether his capabilities r so...y not allow as parent to give him what he wants like painting, cricket or any game where he is involved may be chess also or gymnastics...this way the wide spread attitude will help them develop many things...in bangalore even a person's death is know as ' a software engineer died ' or committed suicide...there r so many instances like this....one of my friend who learnt all the goodies from the leading catering college started earning by running oil tankers so none know what is for the future...so it is better to take a bird's view.. so what if ur child is not a engineer...those days it was a tough course now all colleges come up with it and all mnc r making a donkey out of our children they have no time for any of us...if u read today's paper where infosys is providing so much free things bachelors dont want to go home neither have the time to look for a miss right...so i think it is the parent who has to take it cool...and pass on the coolness to the kids..never say y my child ...but say y not my child.....that way the interest of indian children become vast...and paying as well......regards sunkan

I agree with you completely, Sunitha. These days interviews even for KG is driving everyone crazy. Can't blame the parents either when the system is based so madly on marks from day 1. My boy will be 3 soon and he's learning at a phase similar to my days at his nursery and home (i'd say more visual and little of books). I had met a fellow Indian on short stay here. Her son is just a month older than my boy and she was literally taking tutions for him so that he could get admission in a good school when they go back home. I used to get such a big complex whenever we visited them coz my boy had just then started saying few words and this little one was telling his dad's name, house address, phone number etc., but these days i've learnt not to compare and to be relaxed. i face the same pressure whenever we go home (once a year). my sil's children (5 and 3.5) say rhymes, sing all filmi songs and my boy doesn't. and whoever we visit the first question is why is your son not answering anything (and the questions are which city do you live?, what day is today?). i wonder why the poor kids are not let to explore things in their own way....

Hi everyboby,
Nowadays kids became very sharp. If they can learn so many things easily, let them learn. otherwise, we should not force them. Its true Indian childerns know better than US childrens. Its because of the teaching system. My Son is now 3 years. He is good in oral. And also he can write and identify some letters. I never force him. May be hardly 5 mts. he will write. He enjoy playing in computer. He knows to switch on, go to internet, select his games (he is having so many games added in favorites) and after playing he knows how to shut down the computer. Please never compare one children with other.

Oops!!! why to hurry up ?

There is lot of time in their life to learn and why don't we let them play and learn on their own.

I 've a toddler who is 2 years and 3 months. I find it difficult to make him tell even the words clearly. He says fik for gift , aliv for anil, keem for screen...i dunno where my kid will be in this race....

I am really wondering do we have to teach them so early ???

Regards,
Alamu

you're very very right, Alamu:) Infact, my boy (is just a month short of 3 yrs) now starts saying some words clearly that I miss those 'baby' words... so enjoy their natural phases in life. Ofcourse we do help them explore, guide their interests but not to such an extent at this age! Latha

I don't get it... is this a comparison between Indian kids in India Vs Indian kids in US??.. or Indian kids Vs Childeren from other parts of the world??

This is more to do with the mentality of Indian parents than the kids themselves