Beginnning to teach a toddler!

Originally Posted by sheeba

Hi Sunitha,

I agree most of what you have said. These days kids are overburdened to learn more than was / is expected for their age range. It is all because parents want to get their kids equally competitive.

I know one my neighbour sending her kids to the following classes during all the days in a week in addition to going to school:

Monday - Hindi class
Tuesday - Music class
Wednesday - Swimming class
Thursday - Kumon (Math & Science) class
Friday - Religious class (Slokas + Hindu culture)

You think those kids are free in the weekends??? No, they have got to do their Kumon assignments for the following week's class.

When I moved into the US and saw their kids going to so many classes, I did get worried that my son is going to stay back. So I started enquiring about these classes, asked a few Indian parents - why so many during the same year, can't we do it 1 or 2 every year, etc.? The response I got was they definitely need it for being competitive.

I have enquired whether American Parents do the same. But atleast what I came to know was, they do send their kids to classes but they are mostly extra-curricular and not much learning.

Now my son too is going to Kumon classes (belive me only Kumon). I put him into it because he knew a lots of Math & Science for his level that he learnt in India, while here it is again basics and he was getting a little bored. So I wanted him not to loose the skills he had already gained and wanted him to exercise it for which Kumon helps! But these Kumon classes are run fully depending on Indian parents & kids, I have seen not much American kids.

I speak to my people back in India, there even it is getting worse! Schools themselves overburden kids with piles of books to carry, tests, exams, extra-curricular periods, etc. Then they have UCMAS classes (similar to Kumon), singing, dance, swimming and more!

This most of the time leaves me thinking - 'What if we get back to India? Should my kid to go to classes to make himself competitive to pick-up with kids back in India when we return?".

I really don't have solid answers - Yes or No. I always end up in 'May be'!

I just poured down my thoughts here, Sunitha. Hope you don't feel like 'why did I post it?'

Sheeba

Believe me , i feel the same. It is a competitive world and the future generation has to be multi-talented.

I first prepared myself for 2 things, 1. not to impose my aspirations on her like ( " i want my daughter to become a ------"), instead i prep her.. rather groom her by triggering her interests to analyze her capacities vs the society demands

Yes, my child also "attends" to full-time day care, all the above mentioned classes and she's only 4 years old. Now, I don't boast about this and i'm not doing this beacuse of peer pressure!!..

All this is done @ home.. There cannot be a better person than a mom to do all these.
I've also heard people say" oh.. she/he does not listen to me or sit with me to do it.."..
A very unacceptable comment to me!!

Parenting is a challenging art, everyone is a first time parent and it is all trial and error method!!..

Children need variety, they get bored to do the same thing at schduled days over and over again..

There are so many online programs available for math & english - sign up your child for them, you can set a schedule. saves you time , money. You can cook and teach your child at the same time. Just 1/2 to 1 hour a day is enough.

Next day, read a book, most kids know internet now..teach them how to log in and read a story, do a drwaing with paint feature in the windows, listen to music..

3rd day, teach them your mother tongue, or Hindi- a coomon laguage to commnicate with others.. Don't send them to hindi classes. If you donno Hindi, buy the basic elementary books and learn as u teach her..

May be when kid get older say about 8-11 you can enroll them for the regular classes.

4th day, teach slokam bhajans, your prayers. Now, dont take a class, you sing-along with them. They might not do it for a couple of times when you start, but as it becomes a daily habit, they will pick it up..

Day 5, play a game - they need to know winning and losing has to taken in the stride but teach them to be competitive. Some kids cannot accept failure and some others are not competitive..

So, if they win, make their game tougher, if they lose, teach them how to win!!.

Saturday - Do an outside activity.. Anything they might interest them., a play date,. a skating, swimming class, shopping! - do something different.

"Sunday - stay home day" - as my daughter calls it. Stay home, have a good family lunch, family movie time, family dinner and a good shower and day time nap - they need these more along with all the above mentioned to be better human tomorrow

It doesn't have to be the same schedule every week you can change to your discretion, but PLAN IT OUT and be consistent in what you do.. don't stress out on it..

Don't quote me on these. I'm not 100% perfect in doing these, but i do to an extent where i do not feel guilty at the end of the day.!!..

All these tips are for kids between the age group 3-6.

Try it all toddler/s moms and let me know if this post was of any use to you..


Shilpa

i second Sunitha:) but our education system is so pressurising... what can the poor parents do? after all we all want the best for our kids! Latha

Dear Shilpa

My son is now 5 and goes to full day school.When he comes back,I spend about 1/2 hr to 1 hr with him on week-days going thru' whatever he did in school. I like to revise once he returns from school and that is it.He brings a library book home every fortnight and reads it once in a while,which his school insists on.Further ,he has homework every Monday which he can do the whole week and return the next Monday.For a 5 yr old,I think this is enough.On weekends,I let him free,no hassles.Yes,he knows how to use the computer all by himself from the age of 3 1/2 and occasionally sits and does some puzzles or games in some kids related websites.I believe that if a child shows interest in something,we should help the child to do it,but if he does not show interest,we should not push him towards it.For eg,we did the mistake of trying to teach him how to swim at 3 1/2 because we heard that other Indian parents were doing the same.After 1 month of trying,we just gave up because he was least interested in it.

I agree with you Sunitha.. What you do is considerably enough unless the child is extremely energetic to involve them in other activities. Sometime that makes the children tired too..

My earlier post was for moms who think that their child "should" be doing this because other kids are..

Its funny because, there is a residential community where majority are indians and "all" - (no exaggeration here) parents send their kids to Kumon.

and you know what , they tell me " en ponnu Kumon pora, nee Sahana va Kumon seru, romba useful a irukku!", now that i'm not doing it, she's curious to know why..

the answer being very simple..

They all do it because the other is doing it.. hmm.very silly!!,

Shilpa

Hi Shilpa,
I am also doing most of the things you have mentioned in your previous post. I also got some tips from you. Thanks for your post.

Hi Shilpa,
really very gd tips ,being a mother of a little angel of 2 1/2 yrs iam all set 2 go now.i can c tht with all this my bond with my daughter will b more close n swt.
thanks
raji

hi shilpa,

I liked your approach to kids. Its true many parents are forcing thier kids because of the society. My daughter who is 2 years is interrested in rythms and is very active throught out the day. She is interrested to read many books. I just take her library she enjoys more being there. So till now i have not forced her to do anything. I feel rather than forcing we can let the kids learn by themselves.

by
keerthi

Hi Mommies,
I found this thread recently.I can co-relate every word by Sunitha.The recent India trip drove me crazy because of the comparisons made b/w my son and my cousins.Age diff is 3 months.I feel in India they want children to be like answering machines.It took a month for my son to get adjusted to the new place and time change.He was bewildered to see relatives talking aload.He was quiet on cing everyone.He clung to me.Every one concluded that i have brought up my kid as a dumb.. ..but he is not so.One of my uncle told "he doesnt know how to wave his hand.." .. u dint teach him anything.. I wanted to scream "pls leave my child alone" . He waves his hand only when we go out.But they want him to do whenever we ask him to do..He speaks enough for his age,understands what we say and responds and extremely naughty and active.
I find my sis keeping on n telling abt her child's progress.Its not wrong but there are lot of other things to talk too.I dread talking to her.I dont feel like telling all my son's achievements to every one..This peer pressure exists every where and its really bad.Let a child be a child..y dump all into their little brains..

Im just venting here...

dear sunitha

nice thread and shilpa very good tips frm ur side..i pity these days children who are under tremendous pressure because of the competitive world...just coz the other parents want their children to excel in everything we also force our children into sumthing....i wun blame the parents or the children....we just need to decide what our child likes the best and try to put him or her in that....if we put in our children in sumthing they enjoy then the output wud be 200 %....so now its time for us parents to put on our thinking caps and find out what wud be more interesting for our lil ones???

dear sunitha

nice thread and shilpa very good tips frm ur side..i pity these days children who are under tremendous pressure because of the competitive world...just coz the other parents want their children to excel in everything we also force our children into sumthing....i wun blame the parents or the children....we just need to decide what our child likes the best and try to put him or her in that....if we put in our children in sumthing they enjoy then the output wud be 200 %....so now its time for us parents to put on our thinking caps and find out what wud be more interesting for our lil ones???

lov
sowmi