Need advice on 3 year old's disobedience

Hi,
My kid is 3yr 10 months old....and am facing the same problem....waiting for someone to help us with their valuable advises

 

hi sounds normal bcos my 2 yr old is doing the same from past yr .what i do is when he runs away i just ignore it i pretend or start doing some other work he comes to me by himself or after a few mins when he is playing i pick him up and do the job from what he has been running away from.hope it helps

 

Hi morningglory,

Stay calm, and no you are not a "bad" mother... Every mother goes through at some point with their kids. After all an elastic will stretch to a certain point and then snap! That's how our patience is...

Was he like this from the start? If not and it is something recent then it's just a phase...

You just need to take another approach because your 3 yr old knows that your tactics wont work on him anymore because he see's you give in. They are very clever...heehee! I too have a 3 yr old.

You need to be persistent in your behaviour. if he doesnt listen, then tell him that because he isnt listening his toy will be taken away until he doesn't do what he is told to do.

Drop to his level, make sure you are making eye contact with him, and tell him in a calm, STERN voice - he will listen...

Let me know how it goes!

All the best!

 

so cute. what i used to do is let them choose their own clothes. subtly make him feel that choice is his, and let him think that he is grown up to do things by himself. let him choose his clothes keep them on bed and tell after you finish your bath you can wear your favorite dress. actually morningglory its not disobedience, its just that they feel grown up and they want to take their decisions.

 

Hi Morningglory,

Your 3 year old is trying to become independent! You already have some useful suggestions here.

Using threats and scares and also sweet talking only gets your so far. If you have used threats and haven't followed through in the past, your intelligent kid will know that he will not face consequences. And getting a rise out of you is probably fascinating to him. Since your say your current approaches don't work, you could try the following. You will just need to be very consistent in your approach. I have seen these work wonders for two of my friends.

At 3 I expect that your DS wants control and respect. Hence always talk to him nicely and politely. When we order kids around, we send them a wrong message that they shd do something because we are bigger than them.

(An aside: My very strong headed 15 month old with no huge issues spent 2 evenings with my aunt who was unduly stern with her. The third evening I saw such unruly screaming and tantrums from my toddler deliberately being contrary to this aunt alone! She was fine with everyone else and reverted to perfect behaviour once my aunt left. Doesn't that say something about how kids react to adults!)

Do ensure that your partner is also onboard this scheme and is polite and consistent with DS.

If he does something silly like refusing to come for a bath, ask him gently why he doesn't want a bath. Listen to his answer; perhaps suggest a warm towel wash. It will amount to picking your battles and giving your child some amount of control. Also you will be showing him that you respect his feelings.

Let DS know 10-15 min in advance (eg. when the alarm goes off or when the minute hand of the clock goes to 4), it will be time to do something else - a Bath/ get changed/ whatever. It is like giving him something to look forward too. Make some usual chores fun instead of something that should be rushed and gotten over with.

Give him a choice where ever possible - bath or shower. bath in bathroom 1 or bathroom 2. toy duck or toy boat. what colour liq to wash hands with. which towel to dry hands in.

Set some rules. Write them down and put them on the fridge. Remind them every day to start with. Start with 3-5 items that you expect your son to cooperate with and let him know what you expect of him from the rules. If he hasn't taken his shoes off, remind him gently. "Buddy, we agreed that we don't wear outside shoes at home." Every week you can add a couple of items to this list.

You could purchase a reward chart and give / take away stars. If he gets a pre-agreed number of stars, he will get a treat end of the time period. Praise him whenever he earns stars. Make sure that it is achievable to begin with. Once he gets the sense of earning stars and praise, he will be eager for more.

It would take some time to establish this; but if you are consistent, I'm certain you'll become much more fulfilled as a mum. Good luck