Ego at this age??adamancy..or a phase..how to handle whatever this is??

DD is 4+ now. I was really looking forward to put a a thread here regarding her. ...and has become so adamant... I mean not always...at times she's quite sweet...but it surely isnt easy to convince her to do anything my way many a times...She'll say...muma..papa I am requesting..I am saying PLZ...so u shud let me do what i want to...its been mths n mths this way...however many reasons....calm talks...logics we give her...she has an immediate one to support herself...like you say na 2 sides of a coin...Some of her very pet dialogues -" It was not my fault..Had you listened to me..I wouldnt have cried so much (she cries like HELL) and none of us would have got sad and irritated..."
" Muma...I never do anything...Dont be upset at me...I dont like it when you scold me or are upset with me..."
Seriously Ladies...till say 70% we try to give her reason..logic..talk to her to convince her...then it comes to being firm..and at that very stage she'll start her crying...louder...louder with all those emtional dialogues...GHOSHH !! It sounds spicy n fun to relatives but we are now getting worried that she is so so against admitting her wrong...even if we talk about it hours later the incident occured, even when shes in fun mood..she'll say..you are again trying to prove that I was wrong...then I'll cry...

We feel she might turn badly adamant..egoist...or over emotional...How to handle this?? We try to give her freedom for her age...whenever possible...like choosing clothes at times..meals...playing ....watching TV...studying....but where does the discipline go...:help Mot sure whether I am being able to express correctly what I want to. I just hope mums will surely understand me.

 

Thanks for your response. I am already trying the reward and time out thing. As far as adult interaction is concerned....cant really say..she goes to school..is back by 2 and plays daily for say an hour with any of her neighborhood friends. She is at home with my in laws...There is not much company in our neighborhood. We are planning to enroll her to some hobby classes in next mth or so to keep her busier and give her some happy company otherwise.
Ignoring - doesnt really help. SHe feels...Am I mad..why dont u listen to me !!! and I must admit that when it gets over...however hard I try...i get unable to control my frustration...BUT we never hit her or throw things at her or lock her or anything of this sort....I get to shouting at her...and then within few minutes I start feeling bad within but then too I do not really go to hug her or so as else she would feel Muma is sorry for having shouted at me...Kids are such a challenge at times !!

 

Thope so