help me to bring out my child of her love web

hi,
i welcome all suggestions to bring my child out of her teen love.she is a timid and sensitive girl .she took just 2 months to develop a deep bond for her classmate.we cut all communication options but she feels very sad and lonely. she doesnt have any close friend.she is in a new school now.she is our only daughter.i fear if she will contact him again if she gets a chance.how to educate her and bring the best out of her ?
i will be grateful if i hear some good ways to achive this.
yours
nirmalagovind

Hi!

While I don't have any personal experience in this matter, I think I can understand your situation.

While she maybe young and naive, she seems to be lonely and might be confused about her feelings at this point.

I think instead of cutting all the communications, which will only prolong her longing for him and make you seem like the bad character in the situation, I would like to suggest you talk to her.

Talk to her about
-how deep she thinks her feelings are,
-why does she think so,
-is she thinking abt him as just a attractive friend, or lover, or more
-why does she think so
-what are the positive qualities in him (let her explain so she feels she has a say in this and also is a chance for her to self-analyze her feelings to find out hte truth of hte matter)
-what are the negative qualities in him
-does he reciprocate her feelings? or not
-if he does, then how far in love does she think she is
-are they thinking of potential future together or just attracted currently
-would she be interested in another guy if he is her friend and attractive
-would he be interested in another girl if she's better

Slowly, and gently I suggest you find out all this so that in the end if it's just an attraction/crush, she can analyze her feelings herself and realize the truth of the matter without thinking of you negatively and antagonizing you.

If she has the chance to explain and be heard, then she will be also open about her feelings in future too if there's another similar situation, etc.

At this point in life, she has to realize the truth of her feelings and decide her priorities herself but definitely with parental guidance. Because if she doesn't, in future too such a situation can occur and she might still be confused again and that time, she or he might do something drastic out of desperation that could have been avoidable.

This is just a suggestion. But I hope you think on this matter.

Good luck.
Sere

hi,
thank you so much for your suggestions.i will try to talk with
her.she needs to analyze her feelings first and i think it is parents duty to help her out.
thank you again
nirmalagovind

Hi Nirmala,
I would say ,since you have cut all contacts from her she may feel extremely hurt.You can let her be as usual.Explaining things clearly is better.But her young mind will not be able to understand.Do not be harsh with her..

hello supriya,
nice to hear from you. i am never harsh with her,i am just trying
to make her realise her mistakes.i pray -she does it fast because she
will be in a college next year.
thank you,
nirmala

Dear Ms Nirmala!
As u didn't mention clearly ur situation... I don't really know is it you dun like the guy she in love or u dun want ur daughter to be in love now as u scared she is too young for it!
The very First and Important thing that you need to do is to let her know and understand what makes you to take such actions. Explain to her what you think and y u think that this is the best for her. Talk to her. and Give her some time to think and understand. As u say she don't have any close friends now... Try to be her friend! Try to bring her out for a vacation or religious functions! Let her relax herself first. Let her know How much you Love and Care for her.
And don't force her to accept what you want for her but try to make her understand why it will be better if she folllows as u want. And let her follow ur way as her own wish...

That's all i can say!

Hope god blesses you and your family!

Originally Posted by nirmalagovind

hi,
i welcome all suggestions to bring my child out of her teen love.she is a timid and sensitive girl .she took just 2 months to develop a deep bond for her classmate.we cut all communication options but she feels very sad and lonely. she doesnt have any close friend.she is in a new school now.she is our only daughter.i fear if she will contact him again if she gets a chance.how to educate her and bring the best out of her ?
i will be grateful if i hear some good ways to achive this.
yours
nirmalagovind

If you have any relatives that she close with... Like a cousin sister and so on. Let her stay there for few days... She might feel more relax and become open mind when she is outside home as for now she might feels tens in house.