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Short Story: The Kites we run after

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by Stillagirl, Sep 17, 2008.

  1. Stillagirl

    Stillagirl New IL'ite

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    She sat on the lush green grass of the park which was spotted across its area with people of all age. Tens of boys were running all around to get their patang to be the highest or the one that cuts the others' the most. What a sight the sky was....there were all the colors of the spectrum up there!

    She felt light today, a feeling she couldn't recall she had in the span of her married life. And she couldn't recall what her feelings were before that, almost as if she hadn't existed before the three knots were tied around her neck...Had it been that long ago? She didn't remember, but she remembered every minute from there on, from the first day of marriage how he had decided to turn himself into a millionaire and how he decided she'd be the ideal wife; how he decided she'd not only match up with the other DILs that had entered his ancestral house but that she'd out do them; how he decided that her life was only about her duty towards his family and him; how he decided that what she was did not matter now as "all girls transform into adjusting women" after marriage; how he decided that her problems no longer required his attention; how he decided that a husband will be only a financial provider; how he decided that elders will decide the course of her life as they know best; how he decided that for making all these decisions he had become an ideal husband, mellowing down a rebel girl he saw and fell in love with in college to a submissive grahini, cos after all all women are born for this role, he only had to teach her that.

    She looked up at the sky again, and saw it all too clearly. His kite, was made of a myraid of colors: success for his 15 hr a day business, success at being the ideal son who made sure his parents' wishes were answered at every step,if not by him, by his spouse, success at being an entertainer at every party, success at being a renowned sportsman, success at being so powerful that he'd make the most career focussed woman he'd met to an ideal bahu,bhabhi....patni. Her Kite was so bland, just one color: Happiness. Her Kite didn't fly as high as his did, but still it managed to cut it from where it was.

    "Oh my god, what happened!" SHilpa's sqeauky voice brought her back; she hadn't even noticed her childhood friend come in a huff and sit beside her. "I got you sms while I was in a meeting and I just couldn't wait to see you. Why did you leave him?"

    "We ran after different kites"
     
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  2. Oviya

    Oviya Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Stillagirl,

    Good one...short and sweet....

    Your subtle way of writing made the story a different one.

    Keep writing....
     
  3. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    :clap Stillagirl

    Really awesome writing.. incredible short story.. :wow

    eagerly waiting to reading more of yours!
     
  4. hemchi

    hemchi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Stillagirl,

    Short and nice story. Happy to read a positive end.

    keep them coming,
    Hema
     
  5. chitrabala

    chitrabala New IL'ite

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  6. malspie

    malspie Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi

    It was a simple, short and sweet story.

    Do keep writing more.
     
  7. Stillagirl

    Stillagirl New IL'ite

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    Thank you all for appreciating the story... :) Its very encouraging
     
  8. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    Stillgirl

    That was a short and crisp story.

    Not revealing the suspense till the end..

    Keep writing!
     
  9. sowmyapbhat

    sowmyapbhat Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Stillagirl,

    Very moving story...and the way you have described the lives of the two protagonists is spot on! Two kites, each representing vastly different things...ultimately one is felled by the other, albeit unexpectedly.

    Great writing...keep it up!

    Cheers,
    Sowmya
     
  10. Stillagirl

    Stillagirl New IL'ite

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    Thank you SundarUSha and Soumya for your words!
     

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