Unpredictable journey of life

She got into the office bus hesitantly looking at the first few rows. She could feel the glances and loud whispers. Pretending to be casual she took a seat in the first row of the bus which was vacant. The bus was gliding through the morning traffic of Chennai. She knew she had to be calm and normal. She plugged in her head phones and listened to a FM Station. The RJ was bustling with energy. Trying very hard to defocus from her wavering thoughts, she stared at the open window and kept her mind blank.
The bus stopped at the office. It was in the out skirts of the city and it was a Engineering Company which was located in a Industrial park. Both the office premises and the factory were located in a sprawling 7 acre ground. She looked up at the building and felt uneasiness in her stomach. She knew she had to fight her fear and anxiety.
Slowly walking towards to the reception, she stood beside a sofa not sure if she can sit.
There were 30 people who got down from her bus. She sensed that she was inviting attention from almost everyone in the office but pretended to be normal. Some went to the cafeteria to finish their breakfast and some went to the wash room. After a couple of minutes a man in his mid forties came and introduced himself.
“Hello, I am Eashwer, secretary to the Vice President”
“ Hello, I am Subha”, she said trying to force a smile.
“ Good, have you come for an interview ?” Eashwer enquired.
“ No, I am joining as a Senior Engineer” she said in a tone that showed no signs of pride or happiness.
“ Oh, great”, Welcome”, replied Eshwer who sounded very cheerful.
“ So where do you stay?”, Eashwer.
“ St Thomas Mount”, Subha.
“ Oh, do you stay with your parents?”, Eashwer.
“ NO”, Subha
“ I thought you are not married”, Eashwer said looking at her toes.
“ I am not “, she replied her voice was barely audible.
She answered unenthused. And in 5 mins the staff assembled in a semi circle. She looked at Eashwer questioningly,
“It’s the morning meeting. We read our oath and discuss the key issues with all the Head of the departments” Eashwer replied.
Oh, early morning routine? She thought about it and walked to the semi circle. She scanned the group and understood that there was only four female staff including her. She counted the strength to be approximately 60 + and understood there were two more buses inside the company.
The routine followed and she was aware of the glances and remarks that passed in hushed whispers. She was a tall woman around 5’9” with a fair complexion. Her hair was not too long to be plaited and she had tied it in a neat pony. She was wearing blue salwar and a black bindi with matching blue earrings. She could sense she did look nice and attractive. Atleast in that testosterone charged, oestrogen starved group.
She looked at the other three females. One was in her mid 50’s who was wearing make up that didn’t go with her age. She was wearing dark red saree and earrings , bindi, slippers matching it , making her very scary.
The other girl , who was in her early 20’s was wearing a below average salwar. No make up. She has long hair plaited with a string of jasmine flowers. The girl standing next to her was even worse dressed and looked straight out of bed. Suddenly Subha happened to look at that girl and found jealously in her eyes and she could not bear the heat of it.
Subha quietly turned her head to another side. The team read an oath which all the staff recited. They raised issues in design, engineering and dispatch delay with the Heads answering to their queries.
When she was feeling so alien to the office, she heard an guy in his early thirties step forward,
“ Hello everyone. Good Morning. We are pleased to introduce Ms. Subhathra. She has joined us as a Senior Engineer -Design. Welcome on board Ms. Subha. Wish you great success”. Saying this he extended a hand shake which Subha took calmly and gave a smile to the group .
None of them spoke to her and she was left alone to watch the rest of the team dispersing to their work.
“Ms. Subha, can you please come along with me. I will take you to your cabin” It was the HR again .
Ms. Subha she repeated in her mind. Memories of her marriage floated in her thoughts.

 

Dum Dum Dum! Subha touched the yellow rope on her neck and felt a drop of tear fallen fro her mom’s head which was bent over. The joy and happiness knew no bounds. But little did she know the happiness was going to last only a few more days.
Bharath was an abuser from the day 1. He was very manipulative and weird in his activities. Beatings, Abusing, Tormenting and torturing, Locking up in rooms, Starvation, Humiliation were the daily routine. It was her dad who decided it enough. She was scared and sick physically and mentally. Her dad took her back home. A lot of drama, tears and shouts happened. A few months of depression, frustration and uncontrollable rage made her days boiling and nights sleepless. It took one year for Subha to realize that the marriage is indeed over. She did not hear anything from Bharath or his family. After the last fight which the whole street witnessed, Bharath left the house calling Subha and her family names and pelting stones at her house.
It was one fine morning that she decided she has to live as she did not have the guts to die. She woke up and had a fresh shower. She wore a white salwar which she believed would bring in peace. She went to the puja room. In the past one year she has been fighting with everyone and sometimes shouting in the pooja room, cursing herself and god hurling questions like “why me’? “
Today she went to the puja room and sat silently. After the arthi, she spoke to god in silence.
God, I am depressed to death. I know my life is not normal anymore. But I want to live a normal life. I am subjected to all this turmoil. The reason could be my karma or fate. But I have lovely parents, good education and am young. I have to walk a long path. The path is full of thorns and snakes. Give me the strength to walk the path. Give the courage to live a dignified life in the society. Give me the strength to forgive and forget.
So saying, she walked out of the room in the past one year she was very irregular in food habits. She never ate on time or never ate enough. Today she walked to the dining hall and had hot idli with chutney. She opened her laptop and started filling job applications.
She was a qualified engineer and has two years of work experience in the core industry as the design engineer. She had to quit owing to her marriage. There were days when bharath used to come to her office and shout at her who gave her no option but to quit.
She worked on her resume and goggled on the latest technologies that have popped up. It was not an easy talk. Women in Engineering and Manufacturing companies comprised only 10 % of the strength and with a gap of 2 years it took her another 6 months for the job search. It was completely frustrating there were times where she used to cry aloud in her wash rooms. Every night was sleepless and filled with tears.
She was attended quite a few interviews. During one such interview, she was asked by the Hr team about her husband and plans for the future. She had no answer and answered them meekly. While coming ask home, she decided she would apply for divorce. She did not like to be identified as Mr. Bharath. While at home, she walked to the pooja room and removed her mangalsutra and metti and placed it in front of God.
With sobs and tears, she spoke
God, the man who I trusted, who I thought is my life, who I wanted to walk along with, has ditched me. He doesn’t want me anymore. He has questioned my love and my virginity and killed my soul. It’s been a year, yet I do not know his whereabouts, and here I am bearing his mangalsutra and struggling to find a way out.
God, I need to work and earn I need to be independent and strong. I am unable to answer the questions asked about my husband. I do not want to put down my head in shame for no fault of mine. I want to live. So, I am removing these identities.
This bond of marriage is over mentally. I shall end it legally as well soon. Please guide me through.
Then this interview call cam and she attended. She was not sure if she would get through. The VP liked her attitude which she forced to be very positive. And here she is in the Design department.

“Ms. Subhathra, are you ok?” came a base voice.
She turned to see a middle age man in his forties. He was bald and short.
Hello, I am Nathan, your boss, he extended a hand.
Hello Sir, Good Morning, Subha said.
“Well, welcome to the team, there is a serious shortage of manpower and you will not be having any honeymoon period here. I will ask the admin to provide your PC, ID and mail ID in the next one hour. And I shall forward the most urgent requirement. Please have a look and send the design before the EOD”, Nathan was talking in his high pitched voice and dialed the intercom to get the admin.
Subha was startled; she knew she had come here to work. She so desperately wanted a change. But this was a bit heavy on her. She got her mail id. Checked the Requirement and started the work. She had to ask the middle aged women for data storage paths, Network, Server, ref files etc. She seemed to be a bully with an attitude that was worrying Subha reminding of her In-laws.
She was working whole day. There were no formal intro sessions or friendly exchange. Everyone seemed very busy. When she mailed the finished document to Nathan, it was 7pm. She was feeling hungry and exhausted. She took a bus to her PG in St Thomas Mount.
Recounting her day, she went for a wash and changed to comfortable clothes. She had a silent dinner. She didn’t speak much to her PG roomies. At 10 pm she took a short novel and plugged in her mobile to the charger.
Beep!
There was a message.
“Good night”
It was from an unknown number. She thought about texting back. But discarded the thought and went to sleep... She was tired but feeling a void in her heart. Not knowing when, she dozed off to sleep.

 

People very sorry! Was not in town. Please read through. Assure to post as frequently as possible.


Subha, have you checked your mail? It’s a very urgent requirement. Please prepare the synopsis asap.
Her boss pinged her.
Subha was having a packed day. The routine continued. The routine continued. Life was getting strenuous. Day in day out. She was facing a lot of pressure at work. PG life was different. She was not able to mingle with other girls. She was a silent person.

She worried about her past and her future. Yet she was not pulled down. Weekends she went home. She never spoke of her marriage neither did her parents. Her husband was not in touch with anyone. Her parents were clueless on what to do. The only thing they could do was to trust in god and pray.

One fine day, she was waiting for her office cab in her stop. She saw a dark man walking. He wore a dirty jean and shirt, He came and stood beside one of her colleagues. It was a week day and she was surprised that he was in his casuals. He didn’t care to look at her. She was undisturbed by his presence.

At office, when Subha was working on a assignment, her Team lead came with the dark guy and introduced him. Hey Subha, This is Mahesh, programmer from the Control Systems department. He didn’t care to extend a hand. She felt he was highly egoistic. Any ways, she didn’t have a good opinion about men in general and did not care to worry.
Subha was a loner in office too. She was dedicated worker. Though she was not great in people skills. She never came out of her zone to make friends with anyone.

Her colleagues spoke of Mahesh as a very egoistic and a rude guy, She had a few official chats with him a couple of rimes where he was found to be highly egoistic and proud of himself.

Subha by nature was a anxious girl. She was never calm. The ruffle in her life by the marriage had made her worse. She was always panicky and disturbed. Very emotional.
Days passed. It was one day, the HR manager pinged her to come to the department. She reached slowly. There was a heated argument between Mahesh and the admin.

Mahesh was having a heasted argument regarding the cab and accused the admin of the changing the cab timings without prior information. The HR had called her as she also got in the same point. Indeed the accusation was true and Subha had also missed the cab because of the timings.

Subha supported Mahesh. He was surprised and happy. When they came out, Mahesh gave a warm smile and passed by. Her colleague Partha was in the cafeteria. She called both of them for coffee. They both joined him. For the first time she was feeling warm inside. She was amazed by the fact that she was indeed attracted to a man after so much in her life.